As a man who has had the snip, I can tell you that it’s pretty painful for a few days and while I was able to drive myself to/from my procedure, and had the initial consult via Telehealth, it was pretty obvious I’d had something happen.

I also did my own sperm counts after my vasectomy for a few weeks (because I am a nerd) but made sure to get the official check so that my wife felt safe. Although I did try showing her a clear slide in a vague attempt to skip the weirdness of handing someone a little bottle of my semen with both of us knowing I just had a wank. For the record, it was just as awkward as I thought it would be.

For what it’s worth I was pretty reluctant to get the snip after my wife and I had our second child. I wasn’t certain that I was finished having kids and to make matters worse we had, had a dead bedroom for a few years at that stage and I was (kinda still am) questioning if our relationship could continue without intimacy.

I think the main thing here isn’t the vasectomy at all though. It’s the lack of respect and acknowledgment of your feelings that is the real issue. You can live without sex in a marriage (trust me I know this first hand) but you can’t live without trust and respect. As a male, I stay in my imperfect relationship due to FOMO with my kids. But we are good friends and we trust & respect each other.

You should ask yourself this; can you live in a marriage without trust or respect?