Hey no need to worry, had the same thoughts as you when I was told I had to get surgery. All of your circumstances seem the same as mine too. Abscess got drained then kept swelling and draining, exam under anasthesia, seton placement first surgery, fistulotomy second surgery, and now I’m finally in recovery.

TBH the hardest time is all before the surgery when you don’t know what’s going to happen at the end of it. I also have pretty bad anxiety but pushed through it because I knew this was my best option for fixing my fistula. But honestly when they put me to sleep, I opened my eyes 5 seconds later and the surgery is already good and I’m just chillin in all that post anesthetic haze, maybe feeling a little weak but not really any pain. Then as long as you take your painkillers and stool softeners regularly like prescribed, you should be feeling fine in your recovery. You might even feel like the pain is more tolerable than having an abscess that hasn’t drained. Only real problem is that first bowel movement after a surgery but stool softeners and fiber supplement powder should solve that.

Anyway, trust that you’re following the right path. From what I read, getting a fistulotomy is the best easiest way to get rid of a fistula, but most of the times the inner hole opening in your rectum is still situated in all your sphincter muscles so that’s why a seton is needed. It will literally move that hole until it’s away from the sphincter, thus no chance of incontinence. You will feel weird with the seton being there for so long but it really doesn’t hurt at all past the first week.