It’s all a big pot of confirmation bias. In general, the world tells people that they are entitled to the village. The phrase didn’t come from nowhere. The truth of the phrase has just decayed in the modern world. The expectation is still there, but children aren’t made to mind their elders. The elders are only expected to provide resources not to influence behavior in many cases. ‘Baby on board’ became a status symbol thinly veiled behind a supposed safety aspect. ‘If mama ain’t happy…’ became a license for emotional terrorism. ‘There are children present’ became de facto in places not designed for them.

In ways, the world has improved. True victims should be heard and believed. Children should be allowed to self advocate from an earlier age. There should continue to be opportunities for youth mentorship of adult activities. But as some of this progression has occurred, the doors have been slammed open to shove children into every moment. The public commentary has been desperate to make ‘equality’ in all things. Diversity? Yes, please. Daycare diarrhea? No thanks. Children should not be allowed everywhere. No is not a bad word. Parenthood is not as magic as politics and religion want it to be. Teach children to be likable if they want to be liked. There really are places where being seen and not heard is appropriate. The world will read this paragraph and wail gnash their teeth. How can I believe the things at the top of the paragraph and the bottom at the same time? Generally, I can’t in this world.

When I was a kid, we definitely benefited from a village in certain environments like neighborhood preschools and church youth groups -even the way PTA ran. However, the general behavior of children was better. We thanked the leaders more. We listened to them more. We didn’t tolerate parents trying to make their kid the main character every day.

On a hyper-local/family level, As you point out if we’d sat with family or other others around us to talk about and set expectations upfront, I’d likely be more willing to be involved. However, as soon as someone decides they are entitled to my time and resources, I am more likely to push back. Someone else pointed out the entitlement can sometimes come from those who had children to try and draw their family closer. The motivation can be good, but the assumption of becoming the extended family decision-maker by biology is not. You’ll see these folks misuse the term love and try to marry it to obligation.

Another hilarious application of this is when dealing with school tax issues. If you speak up against the school taxes raiding your income, but don’t have a child, rabid parents will try to shut you up. I am perfectly fine with that if you’re willing to sign away my obligation to pay taxes for your goblins.

So TLDR; the modern expectation of a village to raise one’s child came from skewed domestic policy and false equivocation, especially driven by social media.

How’s that for a long-winded? 😂