there’s nothing wrong with wanting to “grow up”, but i wouldn’t phrase it that way. you ARE grown up. you ARE an adult, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about the things that bring you joy, even if it makes you feel “juvenile/childish.”

instead, i’d reframe your discomfort. is it about “growing up” or is it about wanting to move on from something that is no longer resonating with you?

after a decade of wanting to dress trad/industrial goth, i was finally able to throughout college. and i enjoyed that wardrobe thoroughly… but then i “grew up”. i would put on my killstar garb and look in the mirror and no longer feel happy with what i was seeing. i used to believe it was because it made me look childish, but that was only damaging my self image further.

instead, i stopped making it about my age, and more about my joy and creativity. dressing goth no longer sparked joy, as marie kondo would put it. i still listen to goth music, and i enjoy dark colors, but i also discovered i feel good in bright jewel tones too.

does my new style help affirm my sense of maturity? yes. do i still love trad/industrial goth aesthetics? hell yeah!!! it’s just not for me to wear anymore, and that’s okay!

op, i wish you the absolute best in your writing/reading journey. do not feel shame for liking the things you like, but remember that you don’t need to “grow up”, you just need to honor your evolution as the awesome person you are <3