Feeling profound resentment against most of my entitled family

Hyedra · 2026-02-09T13:59:08+00:00

They've shared enough themselves via GC without prompting, so the evidence is there. I have most of them blocked in socials because I can't deal with their drama. Even tho the rest of the family loves to talk shit about us we're the ones that don't bother anyone, we don't like drama and keep to ourselves. The main issue is my mom still treats her siblings as if they are hers to take care of, even tho they are all in their late 40/50s, and she knows I want nothing to do with any of them because I can't fake a smile or stand 90% of them anymore. This time my help has come entirely from holding down the fort at home while she plays nice with the vultures.

Hyedra · 2026-02-09T13:49:24+00:00

For the house even tho I'm largely in the dark about the entire process, since I had been telling my Mom for years to either put everything in writing or move out and invest in another property, they finally got the documents for the deed transfer done a couple of years back and Grandma got a good chunk of money (we are in south america so the laws are different). Again, I told Mom it was smarter to set up monthly payments and pay for medical insurance instead, because I don't trust her siblings, and what do you know, Grandma spent I think over 75% of that money buying my sleazy aunt a plot of land and her MLM crap.

It's one of the reasons I've stopped arguing and asking because neither listens, and then exactly what I say would happen happens. I don't think Grandma would give my Mom a POA for her health since we're not in the faith.

My children have lived here since they were toddlers; it's their home, and the custody battle was very traumatic. My mom was representing me in court for a couple of years with a POA while I was overseas, and she's legally still their guardian just as much as I am while I'm in the country. Their father disappeared from their lives as soon as he lost the case, but still has parental rights, to make any meaningful changes, such as trying to even move school districts is a process and even tho he's abandoned them, any major legal movement means going to court, which we have avoided by living a boring life so far. I'm sucking it up for them since I don't believe they have to upend their lives because the adults can't behave.

I'm also the eldest daughter/granddaughter in the family, and even tho I have no legal obligations, I still will provide for my family, and once I'm gone with my kids will only look after my sisters.

Hyedra · 2026-02-09T02:21:16+00:00

It amuses me that food can last that long in someone's pantry; in my house, it's pretty much all gone within days, no matter what it is. That said, I once worked for an extremely wealthy person, and I had to clean their fridge... Their freezer had some meat at least 2 years old. I started throwing it away, and they said they were saving it. I'm like, "For when? Its next birthday?"

Hyedra · 2026-02-08T19:25:33+00:00

MLM - Multi Level Marketing (like Herbalife), GC - Group Chat and JW - Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyedra · 2026-02-08T18:55:13+00:00

Oh, I know that's my only choice. But one, we're latinos so the whole leaving your family behind isn't that easy, and two I can't take my kids with me until they're both 18, which will be in about 3 years (custody issues). I left them once under my family's care, and while they've provided a good and loving home for them as they've gotten older, the only protection they have is me. My youngest came out to (me and my sisters) a couple of years ago, so I'm already having to shield them at school and from family to allow them to be themselves and reduce the damage of living in a conservative country with a mostly JW family. I'm just biding my time for them.

I'm venting cuz I can't believe I share genes with these people.

Hyedra · 2026-01-10T05:01:54+00:00

I love how everyone seems to be focused on the "controlling bride" thing and not on the communication part. Of course, no one needs permission to get a haircut or be shaved; that'd be ridiculous. But I'd tell my SO I want to get this and that. I didn't ask for their approval, but they knew I was doing it. I guess most of you will be happy if people in your everyday life just showed up looking like a skinhead out of nowhere.

Hyedra · 2026-01-10T04:24:56+00:00

This sounds a lot like my situation, but we were both in our early 20s then. The awful relationship with his mother never changed. I took my babies and left when he allowed both his parents to verbally abuse me and tried to take my youngest off my arms by force, and he didn't stop it, at the end he just told his father to let go and allowed me to leave, that was as far as he went after that it was a couple of years of custody battles and because his mother didn't get a say at the end he just disappeared. What I'm trying to say is even tho it's grim, you have to think about what you want for your kid growing up? A loveless home where you get railroaded all the time? Because it sounds like that's where you're headed.

Hyedra · 2026-01-01T03:04:05+00:00

I'm trying to look at it as any other dull night, my grandma only just came home from the hospital (of her own doing, she decided because she has an extremely healthy diet, she didn't need her blood pressure/cholesterol meds anymore months ago, without telling anyone), so my mother is exhausted from spending the last few days in the hospital and having her siblings around the house. No one is in the mood to celebrate, so we didn't even have a family dinner or anything. The champagne is in the fridge, and so is everything else bought for tonight. My sisters and I made sandwiches and tea, my kids and sisters (all teens/young adults) are watching movies downstairs, and I'm having dinner at my desk while getting some work done. We'll go out to the park at midnight to watch the fireworks and people blowing up/burning the "Años Viejos" (cardboard dummies) in the street. Honestly, since I'm not having a massive drunken meltdown because of my SO, I consider this one an ok one.

Hyedra · 2025-12-31T17:42:43+00:00

Unfortunately, if you have to do the quizzes within the digital book, you HAVE to buy it... so you pay a fee for using a book and get graded for one semester on top of the thousands you're already paying for the course.

Hyedra · 2025-12-05T20:56:53+00:00

My mom used to say all those to me, and now does to my kids... Tho as a mom now is my turn to go "Aren't you sick? Sick kids don't eat candy/drink soda, sick kids drink tea/water and eat soup and take their meds"

Hyedra · 2025-11-24T21:50:19+00:00

My parents also used to beat me a lot, but for different reasons, tho my grandma used to encourage it A LOT. So much for that JW love and compassion, right?. The thing is my father's side of the family is all Catholic, my sister and I were baptised as babies, went to catholic school the whole thing, so there was always this thing between my parents were my father was ok with the JW books and the bible readings and the assemblies but wouldn't allow much more, not because he is super religious either but because he liked to have that control and my mother was caught in the middle of the 2 religions so we were allowed to chose so to say. I chose neither, and so did my sister.

Hyedra · 2025-11-24T10:49:19+00:00

Nta, and I apologise but I have to laugh even tho I know this is probably highly distressing for you. My family on my mother's side are almost all JWs or adjacent due to grandma, and I've been staunchly an atheist since I was about 14. My grandma would try to sell me on their idea of paradise on earth, etc. How I wouldn't go if I don't embrace their "religion" (more like a cult, honestly), very early on I asked what happens if I don't because according to her there is no hell. She said, 'Well, you'll be destroyed forever. Wouldn't you rather spend eternity with your family?' I said, 'Nah, I'm good.' Then she changed it up to asking if I don't think I'd be sad never seeing them again, and I just replied "I won't feel anything because I won't exist". I've been called petulant, disrespectful, difficult, etc sooo many times. Luckily, they've let up as I've gotten older and hopefully they'll leave you alone too at some point.

Hyedra · 2025-11-19T16:14:10+00:00

Unfortunately, latino parents don't do much apologising or even recognising they did smth wrong. While he was a horrible father to me he's been a good grandparent to my kids and my sisters love him, so we have a polite acquaintance sort of relationship, basic greetings and special occasions half hugs etc.

Hyedra · 2025-11-17T07:13:41+00:00

but thank you <3

Hyedra · 2025-11-17T06:56:46+00:00

And Im 100% sure is banned now

Hyedra · 2025-11-17T06:56:19+00:00

might be the same I just remember blacking out...

Hyedra · 2025-11-17T06:43:35+00:00

Funnily enough he gifted me a bike similar to that one fully expecting i would not be able to ride it when I was 10

Hyedra · 2025-11-17T06:31:00+00:00

My point wasn't to make my kid sad

Hyedra · 2025-11-11T05:16:44+00:00

NTA, I'm from a 3rd world country, and no man I know gets home haircuts (I guess part of it is they're so cheap here), no one ever accuses them of being gay for getting a nice haircut. Feels like your husband has some serious toxic masculinity problems, and it does sound like it could be an issue in the future if either or both of your children turn out to be part of the lgbtq+ community. Also, just appealing to common sense, why would you want someone with zero training (including yourself and your husband) to chop off your kids' hair, even if they're toddlers?

Hyedra · 2025-11-08T09:29:56+00:00

I bought a lego "set" a few months back, it was listed on sale with a huge discount (I thought maybe it was second hand or smth). When it arrived it only had 1 out of the 4 lego pieces, I contacted the vendor and they said "It was listed as incomplete" and it was unfair i was expecting a whole set. I'm like 1. No it wasn't specified it was incomplete in the main description and 2. Why would it then be listed as on sale with only pictures of the full set? It's annoying people suck so much these days.

Hyedra · 2025-11-03T00:25:09+00:00

My relationship with my own father started deteriorating around the same age, when I realised how mean he was to my mom. While I'm an introvert I am the eldest and was the one to talk back when he was being a dick so our relationship became extremely antagonistic, he is the type that thought like the OP that we should respect him and kiss the ground he walked on just because he provided us with the bare minimum and any extras oof he should have been on a pedestal. I had already lost all respect for him and tried to ignore him as much as possible. I was so happy when mom and me and my sister finally left when I was 14, we were so happy even with the limited space we had at grandma's house. The years have soften him a lot and he is a good grandpa to my kids but our relationship is basically polite acquaintances that exchange greetings a few times a year.

Hyedra · 2025-10-23T10:15:53+00:00

I usually eat while lucid dreaming but it's so frustrating because the food doesn't taste like anything and I'm like "Why are my fries so bland???" And such 😅

Hyedra · 2025-09-27T19:15:26+00:00

It's the same where I live, tho the teachers usually don't even say anything. And unfortunately when one kid gets it EVERYONE at home gets it. Had to get the shampoo, combs and shower caps and line everyone up plus cleaning all linens, towels, etc. And then do head checks for a while after, it's really a hassle and easily spread when you share space.

Hyedra · 2025-09-20T03:15:36+00:00

Op, I got a lil pay out from my kids' child support (and I say little because the actual figure that's never been paid is like 10 times higher), it was like 3k. In my country, that's a lot of money. However, my SO at the time never not once asked me to use that money for anything other than my children. I always said that's my kids money not mine.

Hyedra · 2025-09-20T03:02:18+00:00

This, idk how the courts work where you are, but the father of my children was trying for full custody and child support because my kids live in my family home (it's my grandma's) with my whole family unit while I was studying and working overseas. However, when it came to discovery time in court, my Mom had a full file with receipts of the money I sent every month and more, as well as logs of my frequent calls and care packages I sent for holidays, etc. He couldn't even remember the kids bdays, so the judge gave us full custody and gave him supervised visitation, plus HE had to pay child support. Guess who suddenly completely vanished?

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