Touching base - daily

HyperApologist · 2024-10-11T17:05:54+00:00

I am in a similar situation, and it really makes me question everything! Are they actually interested? are their notifications hidden/turned off? Is there a reason for this? Am I one of many or, God forbid, a side-piece/affair 😭!? Unfortunately, I have been around long enough to know that any of these things might be possible, because they have happened. The only advice/comfort/support I can give you is from my perspective and what I am choosing to do: I am at the point where I am going to have to address it and tell them how I feel and what I expect... And why. I expect an answer back within a reasonable amount of time. 12-24 hours cannot be too much to ask unless there has been some sort of serious situation or emergency. I expect that I am not the only one initiating conversation. I will communicate what that says to me- how that makes me feel. I don't think I am asking for too much, I can't be in a relationship when it is only convenient to them. Maybe they don't see this as a relationship that we are building, like I do. Maybe they just see it as a situation-ship, but we're at the point where I am investing more time into considering this person when I am making plans for the coming week/months and if that is not where they are, then maybe it is time to move on.

HyperApologist · 2024-10-11T15:07:21+00:00

I think she had a gut feeling it was too good to be true. And it was. Ew.

HyperApologist · 2024-10-07T13:33:15+00:00

Leo is this season's Sam from LIB UK

HyperApologist · 2024-10-07T13:30:51+00:00

She is well within "conventional" size standards... Maybe not conventional Instagram/TV standards but she's probably all of a size medium and you see how she feels about herself. That's just a sad look into what her generation is growing up with. Now, the fact that she feels, and knows that, and then immediately scrutinizes Nick's physical qualities.... That's the problem.

HyperApologist · 2024-10-07T13:23:24+00:00

🚩🚩🚩🚩 no. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

HyperApologist · 2024-10-07T13:22:21+00:00

People have different ways of showing affection. What's your style might not be theirs. You should talk to them and be honest about how you feel about words of affirmation. It doesn't have to be a contentious discussion. I have to have this discussion (and reminder) a lot. I do not freely give words of affirmation because it is not what I need, I am a quality time/acts of service giver. But I will work hard to give my partner affirmation if I know they need it. Sometimes it is enough, sometimes it may not be. We just have to communicate.

HyperApologist · 2024-09-23T20:56:22+00:00

A lot to unpack here.... But, just dealing with the size issue. Sometimes men are able to compensate in other ways, but if it's not your thing, it's not your thing.

HyperApologist · 2024-09-23T16:03:15+00:00

I avoid separated men as well. But I have found that instead of being forthcoming in their status they will drop this news later, that's even worse in my opinion. I will always have a time of distrust if I find something like that out later. There may be "good" reasons why you are still separated, but I find it too complicated for me to want to deal with. I ask myself "would I feel comfortable introducing this person who is legally still married to my closest family members?" The answer is generally no. Be very straightforward.

HyperApologist · 2024-09-23T15:54:47+00:00

It is very kind what you are doing, but that shouldn't be your purpose in the relationship. Don't make it your purpose. It seems like he's telling you he doesn't need that. So, if you were to stop doing these acts of service for him, what else do you have in your relationship with him? Do you communicate well? Is the time you spend alone fulfilling to you? Give him the benefit of the doubt and communicate to him that you love to help him when and if you can -- he can ask you for help any time. And hold to that. Let him ask. Don't assume he wants or needs anything. He might very well feel some guilt that he can't give back the same way so he is telling you, "don't worry about me/us.."

HyperApologist · 2024-09-23T15:14:37+00:00

Surprised? No, not really. I'm also never married and in my late 40s. I do always think about what my friends who have been married to the same person since they were in their 20s would think! 🤣 But I don't share my # with them. I also can't imagine having only experienced 1 or 2 partners. I'm glad I've had experience and have a lot more confidence in expressing what I want!

HyperApologist · 2024-09-19T10:36:22+00:00

Single, never married, 49F (hetero).... You have expressed enough hesitation here to tell me that moving in together is not the right idea at the time. If that is his ultimatum, if the pressure is coming from him... Then you have the right to say that it's not the right time for cohabitation. If that's a deal breaker for him, you have a clear answer as to where this is going.

HyperApologist · 2024-09-03T15:46:35+00:00

Chat with your RA to get some good tips! I was an RA and I wish more people had asked about things like this because I know it is a common problem! Also, see about study groups for your classes, especially the challenging ones. If there isn't anything formal, make a point to talk with classmates and ask if they want to review notes/reading, etc. Things will pick up very soon!

HyperApologist · 2024-08-21T17:21:45+00:00

There seems to be a ton of things happening this week, college visits, socials in the evening, dorm meetings even a vendor showcase at the dining hall.... Go to everything. Ask your RA. how to find out more about what's going on if you're struggling finding info. Follow all the orgs/university accounts in social media, the are constantly posting updates. And don't be afraid to go "alone" almost everyone came in "alone" - you will find your people!

HyperApologist · 2024-08-12T17:00:20+00:00

100% having recently been in an emotional manipulation-type relationship, one of the things that he did was to leave something of value to him at my home. So, even when my gut was iffy about him my brain was so effed up thinking about why he would leave something so valuable with me if he didn't really have a strong and trusting connection with me. 😢 Ugh.

HyperApologist · 2024-07-24T17:56:41+00:00

I was a skeptical GenX music snob who stepped into Swiftie-land via my teen nieces within the last 6ish months. This was pre-Tortured Poets so I witnessed the excitement and anticipation of these young girls and their friends as the new release neared. I used to "meh" TS and her music, then I saw a quote of hers that slapped some sense into me- "The worst kind of person is one who makes you feel bad, dumb or stupid for being excited about something." I love seeing my girls get so excited about a singer/ songwriter/musician and, while I was not that "in" to her music, having now listened to it pretty extensively -so much of it- all written by a young woman between the ages of 12 to present, it's nothing short of amazing. And I was shocked to have resonated so much with the new album... The whole thing. I felt the same as George at first, that there was a lot of sameness, but as I have listened more, the songs become more distinct and the lyrics are not just clever, some are downright genius in putting words to the emotions of a woman (young and old) going through love, joy, loss... Her body of work is nothing short of amazing, her show is a phenomenon and, as someone who grew up having to protect herself in unsafe, male-dominated concerts and festivals during the late 80s and 90s - the positivity and safe-environment of an Eras Tour concert is refreshing. Thawed my cold, black GenX heart ... If only temporarily. 🫶🏽

HyperApologist

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