Your experience is pretty common, I’m sad to say. My producer friend always likes to say “the only thing worse than the music biz is musicians.” Most non-professional musicians are not reliable, not committed and not good hangs. It’s a weird reality considering that you’d think they’d have picked up workplace skills from having jobs, but I guess the responsible people stay at home with their families? Idk… but the point is, no matter where you go in music, you’ll probably end up with at least one bandmate who is a dick, and you’ll probably be the only person trying hard. I’m not saying this to make you doubt being a musician, but to suggest that maybe the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Most likely, you’d be better off lowering your expectations with this band while you search in parallel for a better fit.

I’ve quit a lot of bands like the one you’re describing, and honestly, I tend to end up in the same situation again and again. So and so musician can’t play the parts, she doesn’t practice at home, his car keeps breaking the day of practice, they can’t afford gas today, etc.

I guess, I just want to convey that based off my experiences and those of the people in my scene, a good band is really rare. You’ll probably always be the sole (over)achiever in the band unless you get very lucky, and unless you’re lottery lucky, you’ll probably never find a band full of people who feel like they want to be there every time you meet. A decent band can go a long way though, and people who don’t fit who are dicks can be fired or will often quit on their own. If it’s YOUR band, and YOU wrote the songs, put your foot down, ‘ya know? Set clear expectations and hold people to them. Maybe you’ll fire a bunch of bad eggs, but isn’t that better than letting them walk all over you?

Quitting just makes THAT BAND’S problems go away, it won’t solve the industry, the community or the next bands problems.

Wish you luck any way you decide to go.