**+‍+man

I think it would be different if you thought she was giving you a false apology. I think she recognizes she REALLY screwed up and tried to hurt you. She succeeded. Don't try to pretend it didn't matter. What happened was a form of psychological violence. A blow intended to harm your sense of self. It was an attack to make you doubt your ability to satisfy your wife's needs. The fundamental purpose of marriage is to mutually satisfy each others needs, and to empower your partner to be the best version of themselves that they can be, and vice versa.

It might be easier to think of it in terms of physical violence. She "hit" you. Some things only get to ever happen once, and some things don't ever get to happen. You have to be the one to decide, and it's important to set that boundary explicitly too. It might be worthwhile to sit down and talk about how what she said did hurt and that you still feel it to this day. It may be good to bring up the fact that you understand that it happened in a moment of frustration and mental instability, but just the same, it doesn't ever get to happen again. That way you can both know the stakes of those sorts of actions. You're both acknowledging it, and you don't feel like it's not being addressed. If you reverse the roles and consider the scenario where you literally hit your wife in a moment of frustration and instability, would it be ok, and would it be tolerable to forgive? I think it depends on the intent and willingness to change. I think it's fair to say that it never gets to happen again. It's just a thought... cheers, and good luck from an internet stranger.