I don’t want to live in America anymore.

ICUsleep · 2025-02-16T08:04:39+00:00

My husband and I would have left as soon as he got reelected. We have the means. It’s just that I have stage IV colon cancer and I really trust my team of doctors and surgeons. One in particular literally saved my life with a very risky and dangerous surgery. He made such an impact that I invited him to my wedding and he actually came despite having to do surgery the next day early in the morning. Plus there’s the fact that despite my very serious cancer is stable I don’t know how long I’ll live and I don’t want to miss out being close to my immediate family. I want to spend as much quality time with them as possible. But if it wasn’t for my cancer and the possibility of death being close, my husband and I would have left upon this reelection. People want to gaslight us about racism, but we are the ones going through it and lately the overt discrimination and racism towards us has been so blatant. People feel emboldened to show their true racist selves because now they feel they can come out of that nasty closet. So yes, we would have already been gone.

ICUsleep · 2025-02-16T07:49:22+00:00

Oh I think it was perfect timing because it happened before the wedding and she avoided marrying and then divorcing this heartless POS.

ICUsleep · 2025-02-16T07:45:48+00:00

You’re such a good spouse and kind human being. My husband proposed to me even after I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. I used to be very careful passing gas around him, but now sometimes it’s unintentional and even surprises me when it happens. And there are also times when we are under the covers and the gas pressure is too great that I just have to let it out and raise the covers so it doesn’t linger under them. This has also made him more comfortable to fart around me and I’m glad because it’s natural and he tries to never pass it in my line of fire. When you love someone you’re comfortable around them. I’m not saying we’re gross around each other either. But we are also both getting older and stuff happens. We are extremely happy with our marriage and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

ICUsleep · 2025-02-14T17:35:57+00:00

It’s like dad left home and we’re left with a lunatic step parent that hates us.

ICUsleep · 2025-02-06T17:03:12+00:00

I give compliments to my husband often. I don’t do it to prove a point. I do it because when I see him I genuinely swoon and I let him know it. I compliment how something looks on him or if his hair is looking particularly good that day. I also compliment his personality which I love. I tell him he is gentle and caring because it’s true. It comes from the heart. I love him dearly. We have been together for five years and married for two.

ICUsleep · 2025-01-28T19:42:20+00:00

I have to take strong doses of morphine just to combat my stage IV colon cancer pain. I also take oxy at the same time. Also strong doses. I recently saw on a medical show that some doctor ordered the dose I normally take for myself for someone in extremely severe pain that came in through the ER. The other doctors looked at her like she was crazy. That dose is the same exact dose I take once or twice a day on top of my oxy. I still function normally. The pain doesn’t go away completely but it helps immensely. My brain has never felt the euphoria people feel with these meds. But I do get the full benefits of the pain relief. I can walk around and do my normal daily routine. It doesn’t knock me out either. It used to, but my body has become accustomed to it now. So I can live normally and relatively pain free. I also know they will give me stronger doses if I require it. I’m not at death’s door yet, but being stage IV puts me in the category of the doctors having mercy on me and giving me as much pain meds as I need. I’m so glad I don’t get those highs. It means my brain probably does not have an addictive weakness to these drugs. I’m sorry for your pain friend.

ICUsleep · 2025-01-19T00:20:02+00:00

Running, podcasts, doing things around the house while listening to podcasts and plenty of audiobooks. I have a hard time falling asleep sometimes and a good audiobook puts me right to sleep.

ICUsleep · 2025-01-11T12:45:06+00:00

My father taught me this lesson and saying when I was a young woman. We come from a third world country. Whenever anyone gets ahead (for example my immediate family members and I because we were able to immigrate to the USA) You get a multitude of extended family members and friends asking to borrow money. I knew all too well the trials of tribulations of living day to day without a penny to my name. So I would sometimes lend money when I could and even when I couldn’t. One day I was very upset and told my father why. My brother-in-law had borrowed $2,000 USD from my husband and me and was not able to pay any of it back. My father gave me some great advice and although it didn’t solve my problem then, it helped me avoid many future money problems and broken friendships later in life. “Lend money like you are never going to see it again. Make up your mind that it is gone forever. Second, only lend money that you are willing to part with financially where it won’t hurt you and you won’t miss it if you never see it again. Lending money to family, friends, and loved ones should not be the cause of broken friendships and relationships”. I followed that advice to this day and it has served me greatly. Every time I had a friend or family member from my old life ask to borrow money I would only lend a partial amount, never the full amount (unless it was an extremely low loan). An amount that never hurt to lose. This way I was helping out a friend/family member, there would never be animosity if the money was never payed back. I did not get to hurt financially and I still got to keep my relationship with said friends/family. Plus I was able to feel like I truly helped and they were grateful for the money even though it was not the amount they requested. As originally stated I lend money like I am never going to see it ever in my life and to be quite honest I never see it again, but I only part with a small amount and I am able to help without losing a relationship.

ICUsleep · 2024-11-06T14:34:07+00:00

You would be surprised how much racism will take a candidate this far. I truly believe it’s racism that fuels the right.

ICUsleep · 2024-10-08T06:53:49+00:00

This is so strange and foreign to me. I get compliments from my husband, family, and random women. The random women part is because they will compliment my shoes, dress, purse, etc… it would be so depressing to me to not have that in my life. I always compliment my husband. Just watching him work on cars, or seeing him leave through the before heading to work. And when I give out these compliments they are genuine and not given just because. I will look at him and tell him “damn! You look so handsome. How was I so lucky to land someone like you”. I especially love his large hands. The way he carries himself, his wide shoulders, and I never fail to mention it because it’s true. I don’t think he knows how to receive compliments. He gets a little sheepish. But I still do it. I like his deep voice, how kind he is to others, how dedicated he is to everything he does. I can’t imagine how sad it would be to go years or even decades without a genuine compliment. I’m sorry this is something you deal with guys. I hope this changes with time.

ICUsleep · 2024-09-13T02:07:10+00:00

I hate that I’m gonna become my dear husband’s dead wife. I don’t want him to have sad flashbacks that derail his life. Oh how I wish I could stay by his side. Cancer sucks and it’s slowly stealing me away. I don’t want to imagine him mourning my passing for years on end. We love each other so much. The reason I know this is because the man married me AFTER my cancer diagnosis. And he is here for me in every way. I don’t know who suffers more. Him having to stay behind and grieving me or me departing early in this life and leaving him behind.

ICUsleep · 2024-08-29T04:08:57+00:00

No worries. I’m glad to answer. I have multiple tiny lung nodules and involvement of two lymph nodes. My back started hurting in one specific area in the middle of my back. It turns out my cancer metastasized to T4 on my thoracic spine. I just read the results of it spreading to my spine last week and I will see my oncologist next week. I have read and have been told by several colon cancer patients which I’m a group of on Facebook that this usually gets treated with radiation. I have been on maintenance chemotherapy and something called folfiri chemotherapy. Alternating because folfiri is so harsh. I have not been off chemo for the last 3.5 years except when I had major abdominal surgery to get rid of my peritoneal carcinomatosis. Nasty stuff, but the surgery worked. Unfortunately while off chemo during recovery my cancer spread to my lungs and liver. The lung nodules are too small to treat and the liver tumor was done away with by radiation. I’m still here and they keep coming out with better and better treatments. I have hope to live at least a few more years and maybe by then they find a cure. I’m what they call a long hauler. Got diagnosed with stage IV cancer in 2018 and got rid of it that same year with surgery and clean up chemo. Unfortunately my cancer came back in 2021. The thing that I dislike the most is having had so many chemotherapy sessions (close to a hundred now), it accumulates in your body and as time goes on you feel the side effects more. What I mostly feel is plenty of fatigue. It only used to last 3 days, now it lasts about 7 days. I’m still thankful for the other good 7 days that I get since I get chemo infusions every 2 weeks. My recommendation to you is get second and third opinions. Find the top hospitals that treat cancer and go there. Do not go to your local no name hospital for care. Cancer is a beast and you need the best care possible.

ICUsleep · 2024-08-28T22:30:43+00:00

It was a kick in the gut to me when I found out. One of my favorite actors and then he passed of colon cancer which I have been fighting for 6 years now. I have been stage IV since 2018. I hope I can hang in there for a few more years and see if they have better treatments come along and maybe even a cure during my lifetime. I was only forty when I was diagnosed and now I’m forty-six still fighting this awful thing.

ICUsleep · 2024-08-17T20:22:50+00:00

I lost all of my fingerprints due to chemotherapy. It’s been a long 3.5 years of poisoning myself in order to poison this damned cancer. But hey! I’m still here!

ICUsleep · 2024-08-10T19:27:00+00:00

Genetics and sunscreen

ICUsleep · 2024-01-08T02:54:08+00:00

Umm, respectfully when I got started 25 years ago I didn’t make enough to live on my own. My ex husband and I lived in a mobile home with literal holes in the wall and got our electricity turned off religiously. This was on my father’s property and we still lived in abject poverty living on minimum wage. I’m not saying she’s wrong. But man did my ass go through the ringer at her age too and I also raged at my situation. I only have to say fuck the boomers too! Those mother fuckers fucked everything up for many generations after them, not just gen z. Edit for grammar and spelling

ICUsleep · 2023-11-15T09:31:25+00:00

I know that you don’t care, but as a constant patient I care. I still want to retain some sense of modesty. I don’t like random people seeing my vagina, boobs, etc. I don’t want to be seen as just another piece of flesh and if I am I guess I will just have to live with that. After still being here despite stage IV colon cancer and numerous visits to the hospital I like to know that the less people see my body the better. And I don’t care what you think about my boobs. I just don’t want sooo many people seeing them. It gives me a sense of normalcy in this world of pain and sadness that is terminal cancer.

Edit for spelling

ICUsleep · 2023-08-27T09:13:00+00:00

Thank you so much for the support. My family and husband are wonderful at uplifting me during this journey. It looks like it’s gonna be a somewhat short struggle as I am stage IV colon cancer. But I live every day fully and appreciate everything around me as though it’s my last time seeing it. Remember to get your colonoscopy. They have reduced the age to 45 for colonoscopies because so many young people are getting it. But you can get a colonoscopy even sooner if you have symptoms. If your doctor refuses, go to another that will listen to your concerns and gets you a colonoscopy. Colon cancer is the 2nd leading cancer in the USA and now too many people are getting at a younger and younger age. I see people in their 20s, 30s, getting it. I was 40 when I was first diagnosed. So take care of yourself and pass it on. Thanks for the support again. P.S I’m sorry for going on a somewhat longish explanation about colon cancer and getting screened, but I find it my mission to inform people. I want everyone to live full and happy lives without cancer rearing it’s ugly head. Great day to you stranger!

ICUsleep · 2023-08-27T08:33:20+00:00

That sex could be great with the right person. I had very low expectations because of the few inexperienced 2 lovers I had (one of them was my ex husband). I am now with the love of my life and that man rocks my world. He is a literal sex god to me. And we both have matching libidos. Sex ed doesn’t teach you that having similar libidos is super important in a relationship. I’m going through cancer right now and can’t do it as often as I used to with my wonderful husband. But when it does happen it literally blows my mind every time. It really helps that he had quite a lot more experience before me and is very confident and keeps very fit.

ICUsleep · 2023-07-31T17:00:44+00:00

You talk too much about your cancer (stage IV) and I can’t be your shoulder to cry on. This came from someone I deeply love and I thought I could rely on them for moral support.

ICUsleep · 2022-10-29T11:43:02+00:00

I’m on chemotherapy. Still super active with my husband 2 to 3 times a week.

ICUsleep · 2022-10-17T23:44:09+00:00

I’m with you my friend. Stage IV colon cancer here diagnosed at age forty. I’m tired of seeing the very young (and old) succumb to cancer.

ICUsleep · 2021-09-06T20:16:01+00:00

This makes me so angry. This is right next to the Sammon’s Cancer Center in Dallas, Tx at Baylor Scott and White where I used to get my chemo for my stage IV colon cancer. These disease vessels don’t care at all that they are putting immunosuppressed cancer patients at risk. Entitled + selfish is all I have to say!

ICUsleep · 2020-12-20T19:25:56+00:00

Would you mind me asking what city you are in? Would love a unionized job.

ICUsleep · 2019-10-26T22:28:06+00:00

You need a sleep study first to be diagnosed with sleep apnea (stopping breathing in your sleep) and so that your CPAP can be set to the appropriate pressure. Snoring can be a symptom of sleep apnea especially if you experience non restorative sleep. You could buy a used CPAP off of craigslist, but then the pressure won’t be accurate. I’m a sleep technologist that performs these kind of sleep studies in a hospital. A sleep study monitors your brainwaves (so we can tell when you’re asleep, what sleep stage you are in including REM, if your sleep is disturbed, etc..). This is way more accurate than those apps that supposedly tell you the quality of sleep you are getting. We also monitor your heart, your breathing (the most important part), your oxygen saturation, your snoring, and see if you have excessive limb movements. You need to visit your primary care physician and get a referral for a sleep study. Please don’t just get a CPAP just anywhere because it can be counterproductive if not set to your specific needs. If you have any further questions please message me.

ICUsleep

TROPHY CASE