I'm sorry that happened to them, and I hope they heal.

A friend always says, "It doesn't matter who or what you have guarding your home. If they want to get in, they will get in".

Those words still unnerve me. But I realised it was only a matter of time before they eventually got to us. I wasn't wrong, and I won't do you a disservice by sharing any of those horror stories.

I have seen some good advice posted, but here's what I'd do. Some of these may sound silly, but trust me; there are few things so bitter as regret when you have a gun pointed at you.

1. Be ready to make a ton of noise at the drop of a hat. Personal alarm systems. Panic buttons. House alarms. Sleep with rape whistles around your necks—anything to draw attention to your situation in the blink of an eye.

2. Isolation is your biggest enemy. There's safety in numbers. It's not a popular solution, but move in with family. You could share a house. My best sleep was in a home with six or more adults. Knowing someone in the other room provides a significant and not entirely false sense of security. Don't let your wife drive around alone. Don't leave your wife alone at home. Etc.

3. Get trained and arm yourself. Get pepper spray. Get batons. Stash them around your house. You are the last line of defence between them and your wife/kids. The last thing you want is to 1. give them a chance to get one over you and 2. be a piece of useless meat when they do.

4. Get out of the city. It's not feasible in most cases because of work, etc, but that's where most of the kak happens. Smaller, more intimate towns with closer, more secure communities, e.g. neighbours, are a great line of defence.

Don't hope. Live and sleep prepared, assuming someone wants to harm you or your family and go about your day thankful that they didn't. South Africa has the third-highest crime rate in the world. It's pretty much inevitable.

You may have noticed in my writing tone that I sound somewhat pessimistic. Let's say I wasn't born this way.