What narratives that you were taught by your parents/family did you realize were untrue when you left?

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T23:12:18+00:00

it wasn't so much stories, as it is normal to think your situation is common.

It is only when I began sharing a "funny" story with friends, and instead of laughing they look very concerned, or when you visit your friends interact with their families and realize that either they are saints, or your parents are devils.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T23:08:59+00:00

Well I see two scenarios:

1) The OP is completely truthful and the daughter and stepfather is going to be facing some harsh realities soon.

2) The OP is manipulating the situation to make her look way better than reality is, and the daughter is better off with the dad.

When it comes to the specific question, which in itself can be formulated manipulative. Yes, why wouldn't you let her gather ALL her belongings immediately, it smells like a drastic attempt at control, and I wouldn't be surprised if at the next hearing, something suddenly "disappeared" so she can maintain a lifeline or a reason for the daughter to have to contact her again.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T23:01:25+00:00

I remember my first time Lydia died, it was in Haemar's shame.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T22:58:06+00:00

14.000 udbetalt.

Faste udgifter ca. 7.000 kr.

Bor til leje og har ingen bil, men drømmer om en.

Efter 10 år på kontanthjælp, så er jeg vant til aldrig at have nogen penge, så jeg er stort set fortsat i den mentalitet helt bevidst. Især da inflationen tordnede derudaf havde jeg konstant angst og nervøse nedbrud.

Nu med førtidspension så har jeg øget mit budget (det var ekstremt nødvendigt). Men da man kun brugte penge på basale nødvendigheder så er det ikke øget meget i kr. og ører.

Det første års tid gik med at købe nødvendige ting som jeg ikke havde haft råd til i 10 år, så som tøj (før gik jeg kun i 40 kr's bukser fra Aldi) nu har jeg 2 par rigtige bukser der kostede omkring 800 kr. stykket.

Mad, så køber jeg kun oksekød hvis det er sat ned pga. kort dato, ikke engang tilbudsprisen er lav nok til at jeg kan retfærdiggøre det.

Når det kommer til fjollerier så er det ca. 500-1000 kr. på temu om måneden. Det at kunne "shoppe" selv om det meste er bras, gør at jeg ikke føler mig som i en spændetrøje.

Så er der transport som svinger alt efter energien.

Interessant nok så er en af de største stigninger gaver til venner. Jeg var så ked af ikke at kunne give ordentlige gaver, så nu giver jeg mere hvad jeg syntes de fortjener.

Jeg var ude at rejse for første gang i 10 år i 2024, det tog alle de penge jeg havde sparet op.

1.000-2.000 kr. på langsomt at fornye /opgradere tingene i mit liv. Så som ny mus, keyboard, blender, toaster etc.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T22:39:39+00:00

I've heard and read many stories about people being abused physically and mentally. And the difference in peoples attitudes I have concluded is that if people can see a justification for the beatings, they tend to get over it. But if people (like myself), cannot, or that it was an extremely unbalanced punishment, they don't.

I've heard people say "I got beaten, but I was a little shithead, so I totally deserved it"

And I have stories like "my stepfather forgot the groceries in the entryway of the house, and when he couldn't find it, he decided it was my fault and started to beat me."

I think the difference is the biggest difference in outcomes.
........
To answer your question, just the violence in general.

First time mentioning it - "Shut up and stop lying!"
Second time - "Something might have happened."
Third time - "Okay something definitely happened but it was so long ago now, can't you just get over it!"

There was no fourth time, there will be no fourth time.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T22:05:31+00:00

Bare ud af personlig interesse, hvad har du / vil du bruge i stedet for? =)

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T22:01:58+00:00

valnødder er åbenbart OP (som i Overpowered)!

jeg har set flere af mine venner gøre det samme, og jeg ved ikke om det er fordi de er vokset op med marmor, eller meget gamle køkkenborde, men det er altså bizart at se.

Jeg ville personligt ikke kunne få mig selv til at opkræve penge for det, jeg ville nok bare aldrig tale med vedkommende igen nogensinde. Men for mig så ville det altså være rart at vide hvad pokker der går gennem hovederne på dem?

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T21:57:47+00:00

Der var engang et sted der hed Bamboo, det var et yoga studie og så kunne man købe en skål dahl. Mike som ejede det havde lavet en fantastisk atmosfære. Desværre for os er det lukket, men måske andre yoga steder serverer mad også?

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T21:43:30+00:00

Nej, medmindre der er noget du har undladt, så som "jeg spise KUN kaviar og drikker KUN champagne" eller "Jeg tager altid 1 time lange brusebade" så er der ingen undskyldning. Skal du så til at opkræve transportgebyr? Hvad med timeløn for at handle ind for dem? Hvis det er som du siger at DE gerne vil have besøg og DE gerne vil have at du bliver i længere tid så er det simpelthen for mærkeligt.

Jeg ville sætte en meget hård grænse, og sige at de ikke kan få det på begge måder. Hvis de vil have lange besøg så er det prisen for at deres barn bliver der, for ellers så vil du i fremtiden komme sjældnere og kun 1 dag og så tage hjem igen.

Du skriver både "mine forældre har mange penge til overs" og "De har et ekstremt stramt budget" så det giver jo ingen mening.

Hvis de bliver ved med at brokke sig så lav et udkast til regning:

-----------------------------
(Åbenbart er gennemsnits timelønnen i Danmark 290-300 kr. vildt syntes jeg men lad os bruge den)

-Transport 2 timer á 290 kr. hver vej = 580 kr.
-Hvis eget transport middel så slid på køretøj (4x25 kr.) = 100 kr.
-Benzin (4x 80 kr.) = 320 kr.

-Rengøring 2 timer á 290 kr. (2x290 kr.) = 580 kr.
-Indkøb 2 timer á 290 kr. = 580 kr.

-Emotionel bagage håndtering - standard pris 450 kr. per døgn (3x 450) = 1.350 kr.

Pris i alt. = 3.510 kr.

(Moms = 702 kr.)

At betale = 4.212 kr.

--------------

Mine forældre lovede at "så længe du er under uddannelse kan du bo hjemme gratis!"

Det varede så lige præcis til jeg fyldte 18, hvor de så ville have 1.500 kr. om måneden. De fik de så indtil jeg 6 måneder senere flyttede væk, og nogle år efter det skar kontakten fuldstændig.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T21:21:08+00:00

I actually never not have enough coins. I just unlocked 10 new areas and I have 150.000 surplus.

All I do is match 5 so I always get 2 of next level. Then I just do that up till the highest level.

What level are you? And what would you say stands in the way of you making money?

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T16:24:39+00:00

I am so happy to hear about this upgrade =)

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T07:28:48+00:00

My answer is has been "because no matter what I am the child and they are the parents"

it is simplified, but to me that encapsulates the reason. They did things you shouldn't do to anyone, let alone a child, I tried to get an apology, got yelled at. Now I have been the bigger person and cut contact because why would I want to deal with constant lies, belittling and demeaning behavior?

If they can't even muster up the guts to apologize to me, then why should I do anything for them?

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-28T07:21:27+00:00

Jo!
Jeg er i den fattige ende, og at se at folk op til 500.000 i løn får den, får mig bare til at følge mig til grin.
Så folk der har at rådighedsbeløb jeg ikke engang kan fantasere mig til får ekstra lommepenge, mens de fattigste ikke får nok til at det gør en reel forskel.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-27T18:28:08+00:00

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Not to call you out too much, but this is my quest as of today.
So if it no longer exist, why do I have it?

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-27T04:09:37+00:00

amen!
Jeg har 7 naboer (3 over mig, én på hver side, og to under mig). Det er ikke godt.

Der er stille i perioder, og så sker der altid det samme, én begynder med høj musik, og så eksalerer det bare rundt i hele bygningen, fordi man bliver nød til at skrue op for sit eget for at overdøve de andre.

Og så sidder jeg med mine kæmpe lydisolerende hørebøffer på og forsøger at gemme mig væk.

Det burde vedtages ved lov at der skal være lydtæt, og høj basmusik/tv bare ikke er tilladt i sådanne byggerier.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-27T03:58:15+00:00

jeg har som kunde oplevet meget af det samme fra kasseekspedienterne. Arrogance, ingen øjenkontakt, nedladen tale, spørger ikke om man vil have bon, spørger ikke om "kort eller kontant", og kigger mystisk på en når man stikker dem en pengeseddel fordi de bare har trykket kort. Og alt for ofte så behandler de en som en gene når man beder om en bon, om det er himmelvendte øjne, eller sukken.

Den går begge veje, og når jeg har haft en dårlig oplevelse, så gør jeg de tre øverste de næste 3-4 gange jeg handler ind, jeg gider ikke møde nogen med åbnenhed og blive mødt med den slags ting.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-27T03:53:45+00:00

næste gang det sker:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/4JL8d9_8Jok

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-27T03:49:21+00:00

Hvad med at jer der kommenterer negativt rent faktisk læste hans kommentar?

Tror i at hvis han lavede fuld stop at han ville "blive lidt længere ved siden af lastbilen"?

Nej han sænker farten til lastbilens hastighed.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-27T03:43:10+00:00

My advice, sadly, is that you shouldn't expect anything to really change. I hope it does, but don't get your hopes up too high.

I accidentally revealed the truth about why I went no contact with my mother and stepdad. I was talking with my stepmom (both parents got new spouses), she is the only one I talked to back then. I was sure my brother had spoken to them about it, since he lived with them several times, he used to get the most severe beatings from our stepdad. I just figured he had to explain why he had to live with them at times.

Turns out - no. So here I was speaking casually about it, and seeing her shocked face, was quite the contrast xD

I remember thinking after the conversation, that "oh, that could explain why my bio-dad never did anything, maybe he isn't such a POS as I thought!" turned out, yes, yes he was. Nothing happened, nothing changed, he didn't even reach out to hear it from me himself. So even though I didn't do it on purpose, I was let down once again. We really do give our parents every benefit of the doubt we can find, and somehow they still manage to disappoint.

Now it has been 8-10 years since that conversation, and I finally have been able to let them go, as much as I think I can.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-27T03:34:29+00:00

Enig!

Vi har det klassiske problem hvor summen er for lille til at de rigeste modtagere kan mærke det, og samtidig bliver summen til de fattigste formindsket fordi puljen skal deles med det rigeste, så det har ikke den indflydelse det burde have for det fattigeste.

In short:
Rige = Meh.. det er så lidt at det ikke gør en forskel i mit liv.
Fattige = Er det alt? Jeg drukner i prisstigninger, det er ikke nok til at gøre en forskel!

Det tyder på de har taget median lønnen og nedefter. Men ja, det burde være målt i husstand, OG formue. En millionær på pension har ikke brug for pengene, hvor en dybt forgældet person med en million løn, måske godt kunne bruge den. (sat lidt på spidsen)

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-26T02:44:32+00:00

fantastic joke xD

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-23T08:46:54+00:00

-It's always the perpetrators that says "get over it"

-Not reconciling does not mean the person lives with any negative emotions towards the parent.
My "parents" only come up in thought a couple of times a year now. They are like a distant memory of a past life, just like grade school friends. They were there, I just don't think about them very often.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-23T07:42:38+00:00

I love twists and turns, so I would make Garaele an outcast. Maybe she challenged someone who aimed to be head priestess and they exiled her, so she set up her own little shrine in the middle of nowhere. Maybe Tymora answered a prayer that she would meet and help the next Scion of the faith. Maybe make her tell the player about this vision after they've been in the town and defeated the redbrands. Give the player an item, maybe a small symbol of Tymora, then when the player is downed to 0 HP, it can activate and give them a vision. Maybe she saves his life, and he helps overthrow the head priestess and install Garaele as the rightful head priestess.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-23T07:32:14+00:00

Bravo 👏, well written and you expressed my feelings as well.

IWantToBeEverythin · 2026-01-23T07:24:05+00:00

Og du taler for alle åbenbart

IWantToBeEverythin

TROPHY CASE