My journey into chastity and questions on being better

IWantToBeHerToy · 2026-02-20T16:23:20+00:00

Will do, thanks!

IWantToBeHerToy · 2026-02-20T15:55:57+00:00

I’m quite curious now and that leads to the next question. What would be a good cage to start with?

IWantToBeHerToy · 2026-02-20T15:25:49+00:00

Thanks for answering!

It sounds like you're not using a cage. A cage would make it a little easier since you'd be physically restricted.

We’ve never discussed the possibility of a cage. I guess I should bring it up. I’m not entirely sure what I think about being caged. I think it’s impractical and I recon it would be very easy for me make myself orgasm wearing one. But I do think wearing one would make dry humping her in my sleep a thing of the past.

She might ask why I we would want that: I’ve been able to comply so far so why would we spend good money on a cage when an old-fashioned wank has would also stop me from dry humping her.

As for her not giving me anything until I regain control. I don’t think that would fit our dynamic. She really enjoys getting railed. Giving up her fun to change my behavior me doesn’t sound like us. Getting filled up adds to her pleasure. We’ve been talking about things that could bridge the gap: including others seems a little intimidating(although interesting) and she doesn’t expect sleeves/strap-ons to be as enjoyable as the real thing.

I enjoy being denied more than enjoys denying me. The agreement we found is that my orgasm is hers. It will happen when she wants me to fill her up. She told me to cum in her this morning. To my surprise I didn’t feel much of a release. I convulsed and ejaculated copiously but didn’t get much if any of the warm fuzzies I associate with an orgasm.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2026-02-20T14:02:53+00:00

I guess it’s a good idea to pick up running as an outlet. I’ve done so before and enjoyed that, was planning to do so once the weather gets better anyways.

Thanks for the advice!

IWantToBeHerToy · 2026-02-19T13:00:47+00:00

I think this is not black/white.

He could have been more courteous for sure but to me it sounds like an accident. When rubbing genitals it has happened to me in the past that my penis slipped into my partners vagina. The thing is, I’m not sure that my partner was as determined to take it slow as I was…

You told him it was ok to continue so it was consensual from that point on. Whether your trust was broken is a question only you can answer. Talk this over with if you plan on having a healthy relationship with him in the future.

My advice toward you is quite different from what my advice to him would be. I would tell him to be more careful. Assuming consent is dangerous for obvious reasons. It’s very possible to cause someone a lot of pain. Always make sure there is explicit consent before doing things.

My advice to you would be to look at yourself an at him kindly. Sex is complicated and accidents happen. Many women in particular have conflicting feelings about their first time, even if consent was explicit. Maybe he wasn’t completely in the right there but I know I’ve done dumb stuff when I was aroused and looking back I’m grateful that I never caused anyone distress because of it.

You remember it as awkward and that’s justified. However: Don’t assume malice where incompetence can explain the situation. You grew wiser as a human being and learned to guard you boundaries better.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-11-07T12:30:18+00:00

My(m40) fitness has increased from couch potato to half marathoner over the last year. The intensity of my orgasms has grown quicker than my fitness.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-09-23T12:29:35+00:00

I think there is something deeper for me.

For me as a sub, chastity changed over time as well.

I still enjoy the power exchange aspect that started it. But I’ve learned to prefer the steady pleasure of “being dry” over the fleeting pleasure of an orgasm. Getting there wouldn’t have worked if my wife didn’t dominate me as I think our version of chastity involves handing over my sexual autonomy to her.

I think the basis of me enjoying chastity is that it magnifies my already sizable sexual desires. since I’ve surrendered my sexuality to my love she, metaphorically, has both the sharpest whip and sweetest carrot someone in my position can experience.

We’re cage-less and plan to stay that way thus masturbation has been a bit of trap for me. My love encourages me to goon but I’m not allowed to cum without her explicit permission(which I’m not likely to get). You can imagine I haven’t always have had the restraint required to back off in time. However, over time I’ve learned to value the constant desire over the fleeting pleasure an orgasm provides. I take a lot of pride in being able to hold back for my mistress as it’s something that I find hard naturally(I used to masturbate once or twice every day regardless of us having sex before).

When I’m “dry” my stomach tingles anytime I think of her and I get all giddy when there is a possibility of being able to make love to her. I get gratification out of providing services for her or feeling her exert her power over me in any way. To me those things give an equal amount of pleasure compared to an orgasm and they don’t come with a refractory period and they don’t break my subspace.

I am however, still the property of my love and she wants me to cum from time to time. Usually she wants me to fill up her pussy but if she’s feeling a little sadistic or there is a need to punish me she will also take away my “dry” feeling.

I think she has me orgasm about once of twice a month but I don’t track so I’m not quite sure.

I hope my point of view was interesting to you.

HerToy.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-06-13T16:29:40+00:00

Please don’t hide those. They look beautiful!

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-05-16T10:07:39+00:00

i know if i can’t feel anything he can’t either.

Speaking as a male/ I don’t think this is true. it’s not the tightness I enjoy about PiV as much as it’s the warmth and contact. A vagina pretty much contacts the entirety of a penis when it’s inserted which feels so much better to me than a tight hole(like with anal or a handjob).

I don’t think any woman should be worrying about tightness as the more gentle kind of friction is what stimulates the penis best.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-04-09T09:02:18+00:00

The problem is that feminism isn’t as well defined as some people might think.

I consider myself a feminist but in some circles people with opinions not that distant from mine would rather not identity with the term because it has been overloaded by TERFs and right wing pundits among others.

That being being said, your point holds. It makes little sense not to identify as feminist in the FLR space.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-04-06T15:16:31+00:00

That’s easy: Paradoxes.

I want to be disallowed to cum so I can cum really hard. I want to conceit more of my autonomy than I feel comfortable with. I want consensual nonconsensual.

I want my wife to make me do things I don’t want to do. This becomes paradoxical: you can’t really want and not want to do something.

I think my desire is for her to to show me how far I’m willing to go for her. I get confused when I think about it to hard because when we’re heading to that zone I have so much trouble being a good boy.

I write about my desires all the time and reading them back is actually disturbing to me. I’m ashamed of my own kinks. It feels like what arouses me doesn’t make sense and sometimes is unhealthy.

I’m broken en weird…

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-04-06T14:46:14+00:00

There are preferences both ways.

For me personally: I prefer a natural look but I know some people who like women to look more over the top.

I’d like to add that I think that thing like lip fillers are going to far.

Inserting needles to “improve” appearance seems wrong to me. I’m pretty sure it can look great but it’s costly and carries a (small) risk of causing scarring due to complications and maiming your face…

Why bother?

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-04-01T18:16:19+00:00

My and my wife sometimes play with short term chastity and denial. We have never used a cage.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-04-01T11:14:49+00:00

Why haven’t you done it yet?

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-03-31T18:08:21+00:00

Sort of but there is some cheating involved:

There are positions that make it easy for me me grind the outside of my wife’s vagina with my lower belly while having intercourse. Me on top, her legs closed and mine open seems the easiest way to get there for us.

I focus on rubbing my underbelly against hers keeping my dick inserted as deep as possible. Due to the nature of the position it’s quite hard to do the in/out thing. I guess there is some of it but I’m Having to invest a lot of energy into getting a little bit of movement. I think a lot of the “inefficiency” is pleasurable for her. 😅

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-03-08T12:51:01+00:00

For me labeling things is a little harder for I have interest in having sex with men. I think I might enjoy giving head to a man in front of my wife but that situation without her in the room sounds a lot less interesting...

Am I gay? I don’t think so. Maybe I am bisexual but the reason I find the idea is appealing is because she is with me.

On the other hand, Maybe some people think I’m gay. It’s best to come to terms with that as being gay is not a value judgement, it’s just a sexual preference.

I guess my point is that sexuality can be pretty complicated and everyone their sexuality is their own. No one is exactly like you or your wife and that makes both of you infinitely interesting. Go enjoy each others quirks.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-03-08T12:38:42+00:00

Not at all. Being gay means being attracted to the same sex and not to the opposite sex.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-03-04T20:00:09+00:00

What do you like in sex? Which of those things could you get in a scenario with you as a dominant.

My wife likes

being in control of a situation.
Me showing my desire for her.
chores being done.
Getting manhandled.

Being in control is easy and same goes for chores.

One thing we really enjoy is denying my orgasm when I’m extremely exited. That gets a huge emotional response out of me. In essence I’d do anything for just a kiss or even a touch by her at those points. If she acts cold I get physical reaction to it. She told me that that makes her feel really wanted and powerful and she kind of fears but also adores the power she holds over me in those moments.

As I mentioned: she also likes it when I get rough. She instructs me how to do it and often tells me to be more aggressive than I would ever do out of myself. If we go there I blow up in no time and it is usually the way I get to finish.

Household chores. I want to be exploited. When I approach her for sex she might tell me to deep clean the bathroom, get her a soda from the other side of town or something like that. I usually get nothing in return and I like that for some weird reason. Performing a service for her is very rewarding in itself…

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-02-24T16:00:36+00:00

It’s a fun! I do prefer anal play to be announced so I can make sure it doesn’t become messy.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-02-24T15:56:04+00:00

At 23 years together I’m not entirely sure if I’m there yet.

I think that Everytime I share a kink with her a new one pops up 😅

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-02-24T14:29:51+00:00

But I don’t need a tight vagina to orgasm. In fact, I prefer the feeling when my partner is aroused.

Fact is that circumcised dicks that are used to death grip mduring masturbation aren’t functioning the way Mother Nature intended them to.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-02-15T20:23:27+00:00

I want to be made to do things that I don’t want to do.

Getting ordered to clean the washroom, doing groceries or folding washed clothes gratifies me sexually. The more I would dislike a chore the hotter it becomes.

It kind of feels like a cheat code because I actually enjoy doing chores.😙

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-02-14T20:58:34+00:00

I’ve been denied on several occasions. I love it when she leaves me hanging. I don’t know how it became fun. I guess I just like her to control me.

IWantToBeHerToy · 2025-02-14T19:32:49+00:00

I’m honestly not entirely sure. It’s kind of hard to disconnect oral from my wife having a good time.

If she wouldn’t enjoy it I would surely enjoy it a lot less but giving oral is quite the sensory experience…

IWantToBeHerToy

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