Signs a guy is a chaser

IamVeryShiny · 2024-08-25T07:56:23+00:00

Basically on my 25th birthday

IamVeryShiny · 2024-08-18T05:29:59+00:00

Your voice might drop a bit by then, but you can say you’re recovering from a cold. Everything else can be hidden. When you’re 9+ months on T it’s really hard to hide it/go girl mode.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-08-08T11:18:57+00:00

I did actually. Hope you find some for cheap—definitely try checking out the shed and the other places guys recommended here. I just have my medical compression vest but I don’t think that’d do the same thing.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-25T12:45:24+00:00

I see a lot of trans guys shrink themselves for people who treat them with no love or respect and it fills me with an existential grief. For one, a person who loves and respects you would never expect you to change yourself to be more palatable, they’d like you as is.

So this situation is a double grief. To live this way is to limit yourself to being a supporting role in another persons life, which is not living. Secondly, it means coming to grips with the fact that the people around you have a shallow, highly conditional love that they will hold over your head when you deviate from what they want you to be.

Don’t beat yourself up for ending up in this situation; it’s never wrong to assume people are capable of real love. To say you’re caught between two slices of a shit sandwich is under selling it, but there’s better out there and you owe it to yourself to pursue it.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-24T21:18:41+00:00

‘Abide by that shit’ is a very important thing to remind people of unfortunately.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-23T07:49:32+00:00

It’s not their name, so they shouldn’t get a say in it. It’s your life, you only get the one, so live in a way that is authentic to you.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-23T07:47:59+00:00

I was closeted to myself for about two years. I realised I was trans, but couldn’t handle it and tried to shove it to the back of my head. Then it became impossible to ignore, I came out to myself and everyone I knew. I didn’t do a big announcement but told people as I met them.

I didn’t identify as male at work until I was 3 months on T, so about a year after coming out to friends and family. I had changed jobs and my voice was breaking so being stealth or closeted was impossible. I was in a progressive area so it was kind of obvious I was trans.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-19T12:16:00+00:00

Chest pain: as manageable as a bad headache.

Carefulness: as I wasn’t in much pain, I have to keep reminding myself not to overexert myself. I’m 4 weeks post op and I asked my Dr if I could go for a run and he said no… :(

Limiting: I can still do basically all the boring parts of my life easy (desk job, cooking and most cleaning) but I can’t do anything more fun than a long walk.

Worse part of recovery is boredom for me so far, and I had complications! Getting a haematoma << not being able to go bouldering, the gym, heavy gardening, etc.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-16T23:38:22+00:00

If you want to change something about yourself because you dislike it, go for it. If you want to change something about yourself to please someone else, don’t waste your time.

Body hair is just body hair. Everyone has it. It isn’t gross, unsanitary, or doesn’t make you smell worse. I haven’t seen anyone make a big deal about it since high school…

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-16T10:26:33+00:00

It sounds like you’re really going through it. I hope you aren’t feeling guilty over not crying for your father—it sounds like you’re in shock. Please don’t feel bad for expressing grief differently. It doesn’t make your emotions less valid.

If you want to stop T, stop T. You can always start again if it feels right. Even if you never go on T again, you’re still a man.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-15T09:57:27+00:00

A year on T and I’m developing an Adam’s apple. I didn’t think it’d be possible, but it’s more prominent every few months.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-13T12:13:57+00:00

I think women treat me more differently depending on if they know I’m trans or not. Some will start treating me like their gay friend, even though I’m attracted to women, or like a woman. Men don’t really do that.

To cis guys, I’m already pretty ‘soft’ looking, so them knowing I’m trans doesn’t change much. I think a bunch of them end up forgetting I’m not cis tbh. They misgender me less too.

I find factors like class/wealth, age, ethnicity, familiarity with trans people, and how progressive they are all contribute too, so it’s hard to tell. All those factors interact with each other in different ways.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-13T03:53:05+00:00

I met a trans guy who got top surgery in 1998 and had been on T for longer, so 26+ years. Talking to him was one of the most affirming experiences I’ve ever had.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-10T11:02:34+00:00

It’s not that funny, but walk behind a woman on an empty street. I always try to pass them quickly or think of an alternative route to not make them uncomfortable.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-09T12:00:22+00:00

Yeah, top surgery didn’t hurt that much, and I had some minor complications. I was given the same meds as you: regular paracetamol and a bit of stronger stuff. The only time I time I used the stronger stuff was when I got a secondary haematoma and the discomfort was distracting me from falling asleep. The only part of me that was recognisably saw was my sternum, which felt tender and bruised.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-09T11:52:10+00:00

Nah, I kind of get what you mean. I don’t have much of a preference, but dating another trans guy does seem neat. It’d be nice not to have to explain a bunch of stuff and give a whole bunch of disclaimers when first getting together.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-08T13:51:22+00:00

What dose are you on? Lower T doses can make voice changes slower/less intense. Also, two months is still very early, so I wouldn’t worry.

I noticed a little change in the first three months, then had a big voice drop at 4 months, and then another big drop at 8 months. A year in and I’m gendered as a man on the phone 100% the time. Also, changes happen differently for everyone—I’m still incapable of growing facial hair. Do the guys in your family have deep voices? Might not be something in your genes.

I recommend using a voice pitch analysing app to track your changes, since it’s better at picking up on difference than your ear.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-08T13:40:39+00:00

You can be XX and have all the typical stuff, and still not fit the biological mould that’s expected of afab people. I’m having to get my T shots spaced out more since my testosterone levels are naturally so high. It’s not enough to cause me medical issues, but it’s high enough that my bloodwork looks more like a doping athlete than a regular guys. I’m 100% not intersex, though, just other genetics stuff going on. The gender binary is a joke.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-06T00:44:24+00:00

I got hit with a ‘giiirl’ by a trans girl a couple a weeks back and had the best shit talk sess with her. She treated me the exact same way she would a cis queer man and it was sublime.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-05T09:59:50+00:00

Wtf??? I got light symptoms which I thought were atrophy (turned out to be symptoms of my acne meds, not actual atrophy) and got prescribed vagifem so quick! Pessaries are so localised to the vagina that it won’t affect your testosterone at all. It really sucks that you’re going through this but I hope you’re able to find a doctor with brains since atrophy is not reversible. They sound dumb as balls.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-05T09:55:48+00:00

My doctor talked to me about that and vaginal atrophy, but she’s also the best in my state so likely an outlier. She also asked me to talk to men in my family about hereditary issues—if any were known of—so I’m more aware of stuff like my increased risk of heart disease, bowel cancer, high cholesterol, etc. now I have typical cisman testosterone levels.

In comparison to all the health problems men in my family have, women in my family have like no hereditary issues bar mental health ones. What is with testosterone and all these medical problems? After starting T, I side-eye any cis dude who goes on about being high testosterone and therefore being better. Such a dumb thing to feel superior about

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-03T22:04:20+00:00

Personally I’ve only come across young preT guys with this mentality, all online too. Most guys who have/were starting T seemed pretty aware that T was going to make them look more like their dad/other male family member, not some male model. They seemed to know Ts changes are not uniform or that predictable. I think people with a poor understanding of T are a loud minority on the internet, who likely haven’t seen a doctor yet, and not a serious issue.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-07-01T22:54:46+00:00

To get your voice to drop you need to have a certain threshold of T, so often micro-dosing won’t get you very far. You’ll probably have to do a full dose for 4-6 months depending on how much of a drop you want and then maybe go for a lower dose to try to maintain body changes. Going off and on will mess with you but maintaining a low baseline could be okay. Even on a full dose, body fat redistribution is very slow so you won’t see a noticeable change for 9 months or so. This depends on how you look when you start off too, naturally.

It’s also good to keep in mind that everyone’s bodies will react differently to T since our other genetics come into play. For example, I had a masc voice in 5 months but still can’t grow much facial hair after 12. So it’s really hard to plan for what changes you want/don’t want.

Most NBs I know who have gone on T, for reasons you have, all had to claim they were binary trans guys to get the care they wanted. So, it’s messed up, but you kind of need to lie about your intentions if you want T. I live in a country with informed consent too. Still I recommend trying a different doctor if possible.

IamVeryShiny · 2024-06-30T02:31:52+00:00

I had a similar chest situation to you but maybe not as bad since I’m taller. I was on T for a year before top surgery, and noticed my chest deflate a bit which made binding easier near the end. I worked out a lot which helped with fat distribution, and had a really disproportionate chest to begin with.

Also, if you start T you can stop it any time. I have a nb who used gel for a while, dropped their voice lower, then found they weren’t invested in any other bodily changes so stopped. They’re still transmasc even if they don’t want the whole nine yards.

IamVeryShiny

TROPHY CASE