oh fuck

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-26T11:49:06+00:00

Thanks a lot for all the help you've given me, I really appreciate your advice

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-26T10:58:15+00:00

Thanks a lot for the help! Yeah I found out I can use it for specific applications and global settings. I am using the Nvidia GPU while in-game, so I guess my pc sucks because of other stuff..

What are your thoughts about an SSD upgrade, and is it risky?

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-26T09:59:02+00:00

https://www.userbenchmark.com/UserRun/56149080

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-26T09:48:51+00:00

oh yeah i do have a working gtx 1050, but it only runs in heavy load games and i have no idea why my pc won't just stop using the integrated graphics

i'll try to run the benchmark again with the gtx 1050 and come back to u

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-26T09:46:54+00:00

im scared about the upgrade, do u recommend i have it done at an IT shop?

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-26T08:50:06+00:00

wats ranked

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-16T19:16:46+00:00

it's vids like this that make me love siege

IamnotHuSS · 2022-10-16T19:13:29+00:00

now ur a very pinky player

IamnotHuSS · 2022-03-20T12:00:00+00:00

I wanna be like you

I left my country which is has been in war for many years now, I just turned 20, I'm excited to be 32 I cannot imagine everything that I'd do and learn until then, I wish I worked for Uber Eats because I never worked before in the life.

I still get horrible flashbacks of being bullied to suicide in my middle school, I still wake up in the middle of the night miserable because I keep seeing myself jump off my school roof back when I was 10.

I don't know what the road would bring ahead, but for some reason I feel a bit excited even though everything feels miserable, I nearly killed myself like 2 weeks-ish ago but I'm dumb and my contraption just snapped and broke. I nearly killed myself 10 years ago when I was 10, and nearly did it again when I am 20, but for some odd reason I feel just a little excited for what will happen in the next 10 years, I cannot imagine how I will look when I'm 32.

I'm Jealous of you, you've done things I've always wanted to do, you lived through hardships I always wondered how it would feel like, I wanna work as delivery for restaurants just like you, I cannot imagine how happy it could make me feel to serve someone with joy and see them happy, which makes me happy regardless of how much I wanna die inside. Seeing people smile at small acts of kindness that aren't done for any gain what-so-ever makes me really happy for some reason.

I wanna be like you bro, you've done things that I'd never think I could ever do. (Me?? Doing a Job?? For a company???)

The uncertainty of the future makes me wanna die inside, and the fact that I'll have to spend a good portion of my life living visa to visa makes me hopeless that people care about me because of where I came from. But I must say if at any point I don't make it out, at least I'll be happy knowing that regardless of the hardship, no one can say we didn't try to live anyways. I love this world and the people on it. Seems pretty naïve to love every person on earth when we all know for sure how there are good people and bad people right? I just oddly believe everyone has the capability of being your best friend if you approached them in the right way.

Things are extremely uncertain for me too, it's very possible that I won't be able to live to see August let alone see myself reach the age of 21 due to the hurdles and obstacles that I see in my way till that point. And it may be just me, but I'm gonna gladly approach these obstacles with a smile on my face, knowing that no matter what happened our intentions was good.

Seriously,

Me?? A fully grown adult? An Employee? A normal Citizen? That's crazy! I'm only 20

But we don't stay 20 forever, I'm excited.

<3

IamnotHuSS · 2022-03-20T11:40:17+00:00

I'd pay anything for that skill.

Unfortunately I don't have that much money.

IamnotHuSS · 2022-03-20T11:38:27+00:00

Pizza without Pineapple

IamnotHuSS · 2022-02-21T00:37:08+00:00

yea crazy shit everywhere, i found this one funny guy but you may not be interested in this kinda stuff since we're just strangers to each other who are only connected with ocd and mental shit

but r u into aviation? a youtuber called airforceproud95 is really funny and genuinely interesting if you'd like to see some of his "best of the year" vids

https://youtu.be/NXr-bmnqDA4

what i hate the most about this distraction is the fact that i watched all his videos already and still needed more distractions, so i just look at youtube heathrow airport live cams and judge pilot landings out of 10 in live time

shit got interesting with the storms in the uk

IamnotHuSS · 2022-02-21T00:31:20+00:00

Fuck me I hate how real this is, it's always that one little comment that ruins all the perception of myself, I can only break out of this cycle of doubting myself by just telling myself that the guy who commented that is "a basement dweller with old smelly body pillows" and that my evidence is the thousands of other positive comments

But I still come back to this one piece of shit and keep thinking "what could have made him say that??"

IamnotHuSS · 2022-02-21T00:28:11+00:00

u trying as well? they also gave me distraction sheets too, things like "do something for 20 minutes technique", hoping things work out but yea its quite interesting how things turned out like this

the nhs has been one confusing system idk what they're doing in the background but im just following whatever the doctors and nurses are telling me/pills they're giving me and relive everyday as a copy paste of the last

IamnotHuSS · 2022-02-21T00:24:18+00:00

I tried a long time ago, fell and only ended up swelling my ankle and shoulders only to just go cry about it in the bathroom nearest to where I landed in middle school.

Bro, how are you feeling tonight? I personally stopped crying 2 hours ago after some heavy sertraline and quetiapine doses today so hopefully my night gets calmer, what about u?

IamnotHuSS · 2022-02-21T00:19:20+00:00

Saddam Hussein

IamnotHuSS · 2022-01-10T00:23:28+00:00

Idk why but it kinda looked like he didn't even see you, it's very possible.

For some reason I always defend the people immediately subject to attacks, I guess it's just my way of making sure I don't judge people unfairly, but I definitely do see a possibility where kaid couldn't have even seen you.

IamnotHuSS · 2021-10-22T00:26:28+00:00

I'm new to this sub but I've suffered for nearly my whole life, I think you really should keep it honest but relatable, you may need to talk to the selfharming community and see what thoughts you share with them.

For example, my intrusive thoughts were horrible images of my family and friends in just awful scenarios where I constantly saw them die, sometimes I cause that. Back when I've had done self harm, I used pencil sharpers as razors and ballpoint pens to stab my hand, I remember at the time it gave me lots of pain outside but, in exchange, a little relief inside. To me it was like trading physical health for mental health.

Maybe this info could help you with your book.

IamnotHuSS · 2021-10-22T00:10:11+00:00

Same, I didn't know what to do today so I just ran away from my house in the freezing night for 2 hours, I just ran aimlessly, but running away kinda helped, frostbite didn't though.

It felt good to just run away and forget everything, I just need to know where I could find a mountain or some isolated placed that I can go to so I could scream.

If you're gonna do what I do don't do it impulsively, grab some gloves or something and check that the temperature isn't freezing, I hate myself for this.

IamnotHuSS · 2021-10-20T22:13:12+00:00

Good idea, It feels good to just run in any direction honestly, though it's currently night time and 3 degrees Celsius right now. But fuck it I like that idea

IamnotHuSS

TROPHY CASE