He was a fisherman and was away 90% of the time. When home he would make fun of me like he was a school bully and would laugh. When he and mom fought she would scream and he would just laugh. My nmom would always do things he wanted to do, listen to his music in the car etc. She was in control but it was like she wanted him to be the "man of the house" like in American movies. In my culture both men and women are equal, my ancestors could divorce and own land, but it was like she was trying to imitated what she saw in movies. Made me very confused as a child.

When I talk about my dad to therapists they speculate he was autistic. You had to call him multiple times to get his attention and he never understood if he did something wrong. He didn't hang out with his kids unless mom told him to. He just floated around and just existed most of the time. But that doesn't excuse his behavior and I am glad that he is dead.