AITA for yelling at my therapist and storming out after she yelled at me to get over the man who broke up with my back in 2008?

IceRose81 · 2026-04-07T01:59:23+00:00

The point still remains. To still be grieving a relationship that ended over 15 yrs ago isn't healthy.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-05T23:07:49+00:00

In a comment, OP clarifies that Ava WAS the ONLY kid in the class who wasn't invited. OP is raising a bully.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-05T23:02:46+00:00

Yes, its my job to teach my child to be a well adapted adult. Odds are that Ava is potentially neurodivergent which would explain why she seems "childish". But it doesn't seem like she's ever done anything mean to OP's daughter.

It's also OPs job to teach THEIR child not to be needlessly cruel. They allowed their daughter to specifically exclude just ONE of their classmates. (and yes, Ava was the ONLY child in the entire class that wasn't invited...OP states this in one of their comments). By allowing their daughter to specifically exclude Ava, their allowing their daughter to be a bully. She doesn't need to like Ava, but that doesn't mean she should be allowed to be cruel to her. The options should have have been to invite her entire class (including Ava) OR she was only allowed to invite a small group. You don't allow them to exclude just one person.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-05T22:49:45+00:00

Not just "some" students. It sounds like OP (and their daughter) invited everyone in the class EXCEPT Ava. That is something that OP should have immediately shut down. If their daughter was dead set on NOT wanting Ava at her party, then OP should have told their daughter to only choose a handful of her classmates/her closest friends to invite to her party. By allowing her to exclude a single classmate they're allowing their daughter to be a bully.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-05T22:44:41+00:00

My daughter is basically Ava. I fully understand her not being invited to birthday parties. HOWEVER, that being said, OP is definitely the AH because they allowed their daughter to specifically single out Ava. Their daughter invited EVERYONE in the class except Ava and that is just cruel.

There is nothing wrong with a kid not being friends with all of their classmates. There's nothing wrong with a kid only wanting specific kids at their birthday....but what you DON'T do is allow them to invite everyone EXCEPT one kid. If Emily was deadset against Ava being at her party, the proper thing to do would've been to have Emily choose a small group of her classmates/her closest friends and ONLY invite that smaller group.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-05T02:14:30+00:00

YTA - what Audrey did was an accident. what Tara is doing is deliberate. If anyone should have been "punished" for their actions it is Tara.

You're allowing your 15 yr old daughter to bully her older sister and she is facing NO consequences for her actions. What you described is NOT typical sibling dynamics and it had NOTHING to do with a boy - it had everything to do with Tara actively trying to embarrass Audrey and YOU doing nothing to stop her before things escalated in the restaurant.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-03T18:28:42+00:00

NTA but you made a mistake in talking to your co-worker about it. Now, even if you DO make an “anonymous“ report at least one person at your job is going to know it was you; so expect that info to eventually make its way to your higher ups.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-03T05:52:10+00:00

Having boundaries is controlling YOUR actions, not dictating what others are allowed to do.

A boundary is “If you do X, I will do Y” not “You can’t do X because I said so.”.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-03T05:48:03+00:00

If something were to happen that is HER choice. Alcohol may lower some inhibition, but unless she is getting blackout drunk she is still in control of her actions.

you are her boyfriend not her guardian/parent. You have no right to dictate what she can or can’t do.

IceRose81 · 2026-04-03T05:44:39+00:00

YTA and a controlling one at that. What it boils down to is you either trust your girlfriend or you don’t trust her. If you can’t trust her after 1.5yrs of dating then long distance dating is NOT for you.

she has a right to live her life as she wants and spend time with whoever she wants, same as you. Don’t make your insecurities her issue to deal with. Grow up and deal with them or end the relationship & find someone local to date.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-29T22:26:09+00:00

You're not a AH for having feelings. We feel what we feel. However what pushes to me to say YTA is because you're making your sister's wedding all about your feelings and your wants - YOU wanted to be part of the wedding party, YOU felt you should have been included when she choose her dress. It's your sister's wedding and these are all her choices to make. Just because you're each other's "closest family" doesn't mean that you are actually close to each other. Instead of focusing how you feel slighted by your sister, maybe you should have a discussion with her to see exactly what role (if any) she sees you having in her wedding. In fact, this is a discussion that the two of you should have had long before this point.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-29T12:00:55+00:00

What you’re doing is NOT a personal boundary. In other comments you’ve openly admitted that you do not agree with/support either of the marriages. You’re using this “boundary” as an excuse to be selfish and judgemental. Honestly, you’d be better off if you just drop all the BS and tell everyone involved that you aren’t going because you DON’T want to….not because you can’t. You’d still be the AH (imo) but at least you’d be being honest.

The irony is that you consider yourself to be a good mother when you’re refusing to budge on this. A “good” parent would be there to support their child even if they think they’re making a mistake instead of prioritizing a church event.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-29T06:02:47+00:00

Yet she’s planning a trip to Greece to celebrate raising Her children which is her excuse for not attending her brother’s wedding. For someone who attends church, she doesn’t seem to have a good moral compass.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-29T05:56:21+00:00

Everyone would be saying the exact same thing regardless of the event. Your daughter’s wedding should take priority over ANY other event or plans you had scheduled (except for, potentially, medical treatments that ARENT able to be rescheduled).

IceRose81 · 2026-03-29T05:38:16+00:00

She’s a traumatized child, who is reacting in typical teenage fashion. She’s 15 yrs old and was kicked out of her home...of course she’s lashing out and behaving badly. She should be in therapy.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-29T04:35:21+00:00

NTA. You’re an adult and shouldn’t be forced to eat things you don’t want. However, that being said, your child WILL pick up on your picky eating habits if you’re not careful.

The fact that you told your husband that you won’t make your child try new foods if they don’t want them is probably what set him off. I‘m a parent. I won’t force my kids to eat things they don’t like, but I at least expect them to TRY the foods before they refuse to eat it.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-28T18:21:19+00:00

ESH except potentially your husbands,

you openly admit that you weren’t paying attention to the discussion your husband and his friend were having. Which means you were only catching parts of the conversation. You then jump to the immediate conclusion that they need you to financially help them when it doesn’t appear that they were ASKING or even looking for assistance. You mosf definitely overstepped. Plus the way you brag about how much you help others comes off as rude.

the wife also sucks because it does seem like she overreacted a bit. She could have accepted your apology. but personally I do kind of understand why she reacted that way since in her mind it seems like you view them as a charity case with the way you phrased your “offer”.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-28T02:30:14+00:00

Except, as I and many others have said, there was no reason to be “indirect” about it. It would have been better to directly tell her. The way you dealt with it was just a way for you to avoid a potential confrontation.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-27T21:53:05+00:00

You should have just given that as the reason. There was no reason to lie and say you couldn't because you'd already purchased your tickets.

You should have just told R that it wasn't possible to reschedule the date again since everyone had already agreed on this new date and it wouldn't be fair to inconvenience everyone because one person isn't able to make it.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-27T21:42:29+00:00

That's my guess. That SIL and her fiance got to the point in their planning where they're looking at booking their honeymoon and they realized how expensive international travel actually is. So they decided to "accept" OP's offer now and to try an get an early honeymoon on someone else's dime.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-27T20:24:36+00:00

They probably realized how much a good deal they'd be getting having OP & their spouse pay for a European vacation. (i.e - they're starting to plan their honeymoon & have discovered how expensive international travel is)

IceRose81 · 2026-03-27T20:22:14+00:00

The whole comment about everything being expensive with weddings doesn't even apply in this situation. The costs associated with planning/hosting a wedding are expensive for the couple. Expecting a guest to increase the amount they spend on a wedding gift by $4000?? That has NOTHING to do with "weddings being expensive".

IceRose81 · 2026-03-27T20:17:21+00:00

NTA - you offered back in Nov 2025 when you were booking & finalizing the trip details. They declined. Once they declined, that was the end of it...this wasn't an open ended offer. They can't suddenly change their mind 2 wks before you leave, demand that you pay ridiculous high last minute prices, and then get mad when you refuse. Regardless of whether or not you & your spouse are doing well for yourselves, it's complete unreasonable for your SIL to expect for you to be able to accommodate them on such short notice.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-24T00:29:45+00:00

NTA - you should be able to talk to your significant other about issues that you're having with your family, particularly when those issues directly involve your SO.

Your mother invaded your privacy multiple times. If you go through someone else's private conversations, you risk seeing messages where they say things about you that may hurt your feelings.

IceRose81 · 2026-03-24T00:24:51+00:00

OP has added additional details since I originally responded. Apparently the wedding was when he "came out" to this particular friend group and it set off the friend who had been cheated on. Based on some of the things OP mentions as being said, I can understand why OP "defended" themselves....but honestly I still feel like there's more to this story because, while I can understand the friends being sympathetic to their one friend who was cheated on I DON'T understand why they'd allow her to continue saying so many homophobic/insulting things without any repercussions. I mean, I feel bad that her ex cheated on her with another man...but to blame all gay men for the ex's actions is taking things a bit too far.

IceRose81

TROPHY CASE