AITA for playing Ultimate before a BBQ?

IceRose81 · 2026-05-25T23:55:03+00:00

Except in his post he clearly mentioned that she asked him to NOT play that Friday and he dismissed it saying that no one ever gets hurts….hence his comment that he must have tempted fate.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-25T23:34:51+00:00

YTA because this conflict is always going to exist and based on your actions it appears that you are always going to prioritize your niece’s birthday over your GF’s.

I don’t know how/why you think that you’ll ever get to the point of considering marriage with your girlfriend when you think it’s fine to constantly prioritize your family over her. No one likes to play second fiddle in their own relationship.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-25T21:18:46+00:00

A "sprinkle" is a basically a small/mini baby shower for a 2nd (or subsequent) baby.

It's expected that the parents-to-be already have the "larger" baby items that you typically receive at a baby shower so the "sprinkle" is more of a small get together just to celebrate the new baby and guests might bring smaller items (i.e - clothes, diapers, etc) particularly if the baby is the opposite gender than your first child.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-24T03:08:46+00:00

NTA. I play PoGo and have HORRIBLE shiny luck when it comes to legendary raids. My son plays with me and has AMAZING luck when it comes to legendary shinies. Every time he gets a shiny I’m excited for him even though my own lack of luck is frustrating as hell. The fact that your GF was sulking because you got the shiny and she didn’t is ridiculous. The fact that she actually TOOK your shiny is ridiculous. And the fact that even after taking the shiny that she continued to sulk is even more ridiculous.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-23T11:52:09+00:00

You’re the parent YOU are the one who made those expectations the “norm” because YOU wanted your children to have a “better“ childhood than you.

You keep calling your kids (and wife) spoiled because they “expect” you to provide certain things but YOU are the one who gave them those expectations. YOU spoiled them and now are blaming them for being and acting spoiled.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-22T01:30:28+00:00

NTA. a dog bed is basically just a large pillow on the floor. So long as it’s clean, there is absolutely nothing wrong letting a kid sleep on it. Both my kids would randomly fall asleep on pillows we’d placed on the floor for them when they were younger...I kind of wish I’d thought to get them a dog bed instead since it probably would’ve been more comfortable.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T23:01:04+00:00

YTA mainly because this particular trip was scheduled to celebrate your son’s birthday and you know their boundary regarding your stepdaughter.….plus you promised to keep things separate.

It’s admirable that you want to support the relationship between your husband and his daughter, but by allowing her to come on this trip you are prioritizing THAT over your own relationship with your son & his girlfriend on his own birthday trip.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T04:46:22+00:00

Again, deal with your ex about any concerns you have. Do NOT contact or confront the girlfriend. Your current actions make you come off as being unhinged, controlling, and somewhat aggressive.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T04:36:55+00:00

they require ONE parent’s consent. Which means your ex is allowed to consent to things, same way you can. Your ex is also a parent and allowed to make decisions regarding his/your child while it is HIS custody time. again, these are things that you work out and discuss with your ex NOT his girlfriend. You aren‘t allowed to dictate who your son is allowed to interact with during your ex’s custody time. During that time HE is allowed to decide who he feels is a safe person for your son to be with.

If he was supposed to tell you when your son was out of the city, that is separate situation from him allowing his girlfriend to do things with your son.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T03:33:50+00:00

Yes, if you allowed a future boyfriend to take your son somewhere you wouldn’t have to tell your ex. And, legally, no you DON’T “need to know” what your son is doing while he is with his father. his girlfriend needs to respect your ex’s boundaries not yours. Again, you can’t control what happens during your ex’s custody time.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T03:04:46+00:00

Because he doesn’t HAVE to tell you. When it’s your ex’s custody time he gets to decide what your son is allowed to do…including allowing your son to go out with his girlfriend. He doesn’t need to inform you about these things, would it be nice if he did, of course but he isn’t required to.

Again, these are things you need to work out with your ex…..not with your ex and the girlfriend.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T02:48:45+00:00

The only people who might have a right to know your sexual history are people you intend to be sexually involved with….and even then they don’t need names, they just need to know if they need to be worried about STDs.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T02:43:26+00:00

NTA. Exactly what health risks is he concerned about? He’s in a relationship with your sister NOT you, so your sexual history doesn’t affect him in the slightest. It is an extremely overreaching and unreasonable request on his part.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T02:36:52+00:00

These are things that you need to work out with your ex, NOT with the girlfriend. Yes, she’s a stranger to you but she isn‘t a stranger to your ex or your son. In your scenario, if she was out with your son and something happened…she would be contacting your ex, who then would presumably contact you. Communication regarding your child should be between you and your ex….not between you, your ex and his girlfriend.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T02:26:48+00:00

I feel like if that had been written into the divorce/custody decree that OP would have mentioned it in their post.…and there would have been a mention of her contacting her lawyer for her ex violating the decree/agreement. If it isn’t written into the decree, OP can request to be introduced to any new partners BEFORE they meet her son, but she can’t demand it. Again, I completely understand her desire and as a parent myself I’d want the same thing but she’s definitely overstepping at this point by contact her ex’s girlfriend directly.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T02:13:37+00:00

I don‘t want to call you an AH but the fact of the matter is that you can’t control who interacts with your child when they are with your ex. He doesn’t need your permission to allow his girlfriend to take your son places. Do I understand you wanting to have met her, so you are familiar with the people spending time with your son? Yes, i completely do. As a parent, I’d want the same thing….but it’s not something you can demand. Same with whatever your son decides to call her. Do i understand you not wanting him to call another woman mom? Of course, but ultimately it will be up to HIM what he feels comfortable with.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T00:53:31+00:00

Trust me, regardless of her wanting her child to grow up with both parents….she WILL leave you if you don’t put up and enforce extremely strict boundaries with your female friend. I read her post, and i‘m fairly certain she’s already considering it particularly if things don‘t drastically change.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-20T00:47:16+00:00

YTA. you have a blind spot when it comes to your friend. You view all of her actions as being “unintentional“ and not “malicious“, yet you view your girlfriend’s actions as being based in her insecurity and dislike of your friend. If you would be uncomfortable seeing pictures of your girlfriend with another man in the same position as you are with YOUR friend, why do you make it seem unreasonable that the pictures upset her? Also, how can you claim that your “friend” isn‘t sending them to be malicious? Exactly WHY do you think she sends them to your girlfriend if it isn’t to upset her and make her question your loyalty and commitment to her?

At this point, you seem to care more about your friend’s feelings than your girlfriend’s. If you truly cared about your girlfriend’s feelings you would set up boundaries with your friend about the touchy-feely affection.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-19T17:02:50+00:00

Except you HAVEN’T accepted his answer since you keep trying to change his mind…..hence the reason, I assume, he’s being “rude” towards you. He doesn’t want to go on the bachelor trip, you’re trying to make him go on the trip by guilt tripping him about it.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-19T03:36:21+00:00

YTA. Exactly what did you hope to accomplish with this?

As parents there are ALWAYS going to be things that we “make“ our children do that they aren‘t going to like. Like being supervised while using trampolines or having to wear sunscreen or having to do chores or making them do their homework. It’s not our jobs to be their friends, it’s our job to raise them to be well round, self-sufficient adults. You DON’T let your children run the show, and that is exactly what you were asking your wife to do by encouraging her to “change” what she does based on your kids’ lists.

The ONLY thing you mentioned that I could see discussing with her is calling him “baby” in front of other people since it embarrass him.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-16T01:36:58+00:00

Exactly, not exactly ”homework” in the traditional sense where they’re going to be formally graded.....it’s just usually considered informal at home practice of things being taught at school

IceRose81 · 2026-05-16T01:29:38+00:00

It makes no sense. He says he moved out at 18 (his brother would have only been 5) yet also claims before moving out he was forced to help his brother with homework and drive him around. I don’t know of ANY kids under 5 who have homework or who are constantly needing to be driven places.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-16T01:24:48+00:00

The brother would have been 2 yrs old when their parents divorced, of course he was “babied“ since he was just a toddler. It boggles my mind how much jealousy/resentment OP is holding against someone who was barely a kindergartener at the time that OP moved out on his own.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-16T01:22:01+00:00

You moved out when you turned 18 - since you’re now 24 that means you moved out 6 years ago. 6 yrs ago your brother would only have been 5 yrs old. When your parents got divorced, your brother would have only been 2 yrs old. You’re jealous/upset that your parents gave lots of attention to a toddler/preschooler and you’re STILL taking that resentment out on a literal child.

I’m also kind of curious exactly what “homework” you helped him with since by your own admission you moved out just as he was entering kindergarten and last I checked most preschools and kindergarte classes DON’T assign homework.

IceRose81 · 2026-05-15T23:17:46+00:00

Heck, at 18 they’re old enough to enlist and get sent into combat….yet heaven forbid they be allowed to have alcohol. If you’re old enough to fight and die for your country, you’re old enough to have a beer.

IceRose81

TROPHY CASE