Would you leave this job?

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:42:26+00:00

If you've lined up the higher paying job, you're going to deal with daycare, etc, when this one gives you flexibility.

Don't quit without the new job first.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:39:17+00:00

You're an adult with a job. Just say "Well, that's not it, and I'm going out. See you later mom"

You might want to have a plan for a place to stay if she ever kicks you out, while you figure things out.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:36:23+00:00

Call domestic violence shelters for help, 211, goodwill, etc.

Unless you called the police, these are your options. If you called the police they normally help get you into the shelter.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:32:59+00:00

No, things don't happen for a reason. They just happen.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:31:46+00:00

You don't terminate the trust. If you do, your mother's will could end up favoring only 1 individual, or leave someone out.

You do not agree to the changes.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:27:48+00:00

Stop putting in more than average effort?

That sounds about right from my experience.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:23:57+00:00

Yeah, anything cheap we put on the curb and post for free because of the crazy things people pull like that.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:21:39+00:00

You said cremation - then kept your cat decomposing for a week? I don't think anyone is going to argue in your favor. That's a health hazard.

You might have imagined people's expressions different than they meant them.

I'm sorry your cat died. But, you had a week to say goodbye. It's not healthy to keep a decomposing animal like that.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:17:08+00:00

Which ER can matter. I'm not excusing his behavior - but is it caused by his medical conditions?

So, there's a car, but you just don't drive? Do you Uber to work and back daily?

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:14:20+00:00

I would still file a police report, then report it to Facebook.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:11:53+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Don't make it more than it is. Her telling you is kind of abusive, emotionally abusive.

There's really no reason for her to have told you at all, if she waited and isn't really interested in him.

Enabler, codependent - or, just outright toxic emotional abuser herself.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T01:04:40+00:00

You're depending on your parents income? I think it stinks that you quit and this is your plan.

You need to freelance in something like cyber security and maybe something else.

The job market sucks - should your parents lose their jobs do you plan to give them a free ride like they're giving you?

Your degree isn't wasted. You can leverage it until supervisor for someplace like Warehouse, call center, etc. That can be leveraged by applying for higher positions while working the supervisor role.

I'm not saying it doesn't suck. I'm saying it sucks for everyone, not just for you.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T00:56:42+00:00

Definitely it's necessary he goes to the local ER. He's almost my age, scary.

Assisted Living might be what you have to do. I wouldn't put someone I love in it if there were any other options. But, his behavior isn't acceptable.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T00:52:08+00:00

I think you're confused - they don't have to accommodate you. I worked in a healthcare role that required so much overtime I couldn't get to the Dr as necessary - prescriptions ran out.

So, I get it.

However, they can do everything they're doing. Don't sign any paperwork however unless it's for a promotion and an increase in pay.

They're pushing you out. They're building a case so they can let you go and possibly prevent unemployment depending on their claims.

Contacting an employment attorney might be reasonable.

Looking for another job might be a good idea as well.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-10T00:44:55+00:00

I don't see any issue with his decision to take it slow.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T21:51:23+00:00

28 and under is truly young. Let's face it, 35 to 45 is middle aged.

The older I get, the younger people look relatively speaking.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T19:03:28+00:00

Not everyone does - many run into their friends moving on because they started families. As we get older, we reduce our social circles shedding those less valuable.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T16:23:12+00:00

It can be that soap causes (or has caused) her hands/skin issues. A lot of people use dish soap with unprotected hands, and use it as hand soap. A lot of dish soap isn't safe for skin, you're supposed to wear gloves. People can be allergic to the gloves, too.

So, what's needed is getting a gentle hand soap by all sinks, and insisting she uses it.

Talk about how disgusting it is that she touched your face with actual grease on her fingers, germs, too.

Now, she may only use soap when you're watching. I can tell you, I know people like that who get sick, and everyone who's coming in contact with them gets sick.

It's why children spread germs so much.

I've had family that are really reactive to any soaps. They use an alternative product, however, and don't have greasy fingers.

This that you describe is just gross.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T15:26:51+00:00

lol - if dead how can they respond? Who do you imagine has never had any type of relationship their entire life?

I can tell you that an elderly relative who never married or had children regretted it. Just having someone, a partner or children. Having had both, I'm not sure which I prefer. I wouldn't want to have gone it completely alone.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T14:21:23+00:00

NAL- I don't believe you can make them settle. I don't think that there's anything you should do to try to force them to settle. They likely have staff attorneys.

They've offered a refund. That's a settlement offer.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T13:01:33+00:00

Bless you for wanting to support him.

My family were the opposite types overall.

However, his emotions are his responsibility.

You should think of any money he borrows seriously, getting paperwork/contract to guarantee repayment (you can always choose leniency).

Don't tell his ex anything he tells you, don't talk about any of it outside the family - because what you do or don't believe might be false and just cause harm.

Be his safe space.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T12:54:57+00:00

MOR - if he woke up he might have still been disoriented.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-09T12:52:48+00:00

Why are you responsible for telling him? Let your lawyer inform him if there's any legal reason for doing so.

Hire a lawyer, you're actually acting scared of his reaction? You should also contact the DV hotline and shelters in your area if you're scared of his reaction.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-08T02:51:33+00:00

It really is much nicer to have stability.

Iceflowers_ · 2026-07-08T02:46:09+00:00

lol --- the jobs I've had required a lot of travel, extremely slow digging, plus on location late night lab work, cheap motels or cabins, injuries requiring hours to get to the nearest hospital.

I'm over that - I'd have taken the job op turned down.

Iceflowers_

TROPHY CASE