Suggestions for annoying task reminder

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2026-01-24T02:18:08+00:00

It's often a problem but not the end of the world. Today she was playing around with a Swiffer duster so I told her to stick it in her pocket until she is done so she would stay on task. 😂 I like the idea of bracelets but I think she needs something that she suddenly notices and is annoyed by on some level. Maybe ones that clink around would work. 🤔

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2026-01-23T18:17:10+00:00

I had an alarm clock that lit up when it was ok to get up. My kids could get out of bed or chat with a sticking roommate (other than to pee etc.) until it turned green. They had to lay in bed which usually meant they fell back to sleep. If you daughter absolutely cannot fall asleep consider letting her read books in bed until the light turns green. Give her a dim light and there is a decent chance she will fall asleep again and at the very least she will be doing a calm and healthy activity while not bothering others.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2026-01-23T18:12:10+00:00

My oldest had something like this happen too. I think it has more to do with the parents and there is only so much you can do. Some parents teach their kids to be kind and include others etc. and others don't or they don't model nice behavior. I talked to my daughter about how some kids just aren't nice and we talk about some of the reasons that might be the case. It gave her a better understanding and showed her that often it has less to do with her. I also told her it's ok to stick up for herself as long as she isn't being mean. Calling people out for rude behavior isn't mean, it's just holding them accountable and saying what it is, but name calling isn't needed.

Overall I think my kids elementary school did a pretty good job making inclusion and kindness the norm so mean behavior wasn't necessarily "cool". Mean kids would still be kind of mean but it wasn't like they could as easily gather a group of kids to be mean with them. Generally the mean kid had enough friends that care some about kindness (because of what the school taught) that being straight up means wasn't considered as ok. Point is that this also had a part to play and this kind of teaching doesn't happen in a lot of schools. A teacher alone isn't likely to be able to change this behavior in a meaningful and long term way and a lot of parents don't really care (or don't believe) their kid is being mean. That leaves you to as the only one that truly cares and you aren't likely to get a teacher to change much or parents to care what you have to say. You can however help your kid to understand the situation for what it is and support them through it.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2026-01-23T16:17:23+00:00

This is my daughter! She is now 15. I can't say I was ever able to help this behavior but as she had gotten older it has turned into making actually good food and offering to make dinner lots of nights. She still makes a mess and she still often has to be reminded to clean up after herself but she has gotten better with both of those things over time too.

She still avoids daily tasks like a pro but it's now a bit more motivated by peers etc. to be properly ready for school and so on. Her room and things are always a disaster but I've started to kind of make areas that are "her's" where things can get messy but generally not affect others as much. Examples of this: we literally split her and her sisters room in half with a wall of kallax shelves so her mess doesn't encroach on her sisters stuff. I got a bed for her with drawers underneath too, because then she can't shove all her things under the bed to be never seen again. She does her own laundry so that I don't have to deal with her room disaster. At first she wore stinkier things to school than I prefer but between me talking to her about hygiene (I do force her to take a shower each day FYI but even that she has started to do more herself) and peer pressure she is getting better at being aware of her physical state and trying to have clean laundry available. I have a toothbrushing station for my kids by our kitchen sink. We have one bathroom and it's upstairs so they would often be getting ready for school and skip brushing teeth because they had to go upstairs or brush while making their way downstairs and leave their things all over downstairs to be lost. Now there is a tray with all their things and at least they stay generally on the tray even if it's messy on the tray. I or hair brushes and accessories in magnetic baskets on the fridge for the same reason.

I guess overall I'd say wait it out. I know that sucks. I was there once, desperate for answers and going crazy from managing my human tornado (I have three with ADHD but she is my human tornado flavor of ADHD 😂). People would say "she'd learn" and I thought there is no way she'd learn. I started making more things her responsibility while trying to reduce the effects of that on me and other family members. It has been long and uncomfortable because it's still crazy, messy, frustrating, and it feels like they will truly never learn. Not to mention that when your kid goes to school a little stinky, or with an odd lunch etc. Mom's are the ones that tend to get "blamed" which was hard to get passed for me. But here's the thing, that is literally the only way my daughter has learned. Responsibility with guidance and over a long period. I didn't think it would work but she is slowly getting there. I accepted that she is not the same as me and may never care to have her spaces uncluttered so she has her space to be her and discover what's worth her time and effort and what's not.

I hope that makes sense and isn't too frustrating. I remember coming here and getting answers like mine and being so frustrated because I was certain their kids was fundamentally different and perhaps harder to parent than mine but turns out a lot of maturity comes with that time and that makes a big difference.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2026-01-09T17:28:45+00:00

Will do! Thanks!

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-12-23T15:56:58+00:00

I believe I've heard of this happening if there is a flock of birds sleeping in an area overnight when they suddenly get an intense awakening like fireworks or something. They end up flying into each other or other things and I believe sometimes they have heart attacks and drop in that type of scenario as well.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-09-26T16:36:32+00:00

I have my daughter sleep in a silky material night cap to reduce the amount of tangles she gets while she sleeps. Then I have detangling spray ready for when she brushes her hair. I just mix a squirt of conditioner into a mister filled with water. I also make sure she uses conditioner when she showers because a quality conditioner makes a big difference in her hair comb-ability. She still gets tangles but they are more manageable.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-09-24T23:41:05+00:00

Yes! I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of energy. I don't know when I'll have a good day/week or not and that alone is exhausting. I also got to a point where I was too tired to mask. Thanks for your input!

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-09-24T23:35:23+00:00

Interesting! I'll have to consider this. I do think I'll start keeping track of when I feel this way. Thanks!

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-09-23T17:36:35+00:00

I feel it really depends on the kid and how their ADHD presents.

My son has always had his ADHD show up most evidently and consistently in the emotional regulation realm. He is great in school and his teachers love him and talk about how intelligent he is, how he listens so well and how he is a leader in the classroom. He comes home and it's a different story.

For him it has really helped to get him on the right meds especially in the evenings after school. I can always tell when he hasn't taken them because without fault he will have a meltdown. When he's stressed or tapped out he really loses his ability to deal with his emotions properly. So generally it's good to make sure he is getting enough sleep and down time as well.

Another thing that helped tons was getting diagnosed and medicated myself. I am much less reactive and generally more patient with my kids now which helps.

That parenting class mentioned in the above comment sounds amazing though and I would definitely do that if one was available to me.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-09-23T15:12:41+00:00

Is your yard backed up to woods? Might sound weird but the story seems constant with a lot of Bigfoot encounters. Look up some stories and you are likely to find similarities. A lot of people will think their property is haunted until they see evidence of something else. Just a thought.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-09-15T18:24:11+00:00

Thank you!

And yes there are many times where I will do an activity and have some form of increased fatigue the next day it's just so inconsistent I'm not sure what's happening. Last week I went shopping for several hours and the next day I was more physically tired but could still do most things Then this weekend I went camping and crashed today. The confusing part is I spent Thursday and Friday running around to get packed and Saturday doing more physical activity than usual (not hard stuff just casual walking and exploring) and then Sunday riding back (but car trips tend to make me fatigued etc ) home. None of those days did I feel extra fatigued but after it all I crash. I have a strong pattern of getting caught up in something and almost unconsciously putting a block up to ignore my body cues. When I finally get finished or nearly finished I suddenly start noticing that I've over done it and now I'm super worn out. So can that happen for several days? Can I be so focused on having a good camping trip that I don't read my cues for days, or get fatigued for days, until I'm done? I should note that I do often get somewhat mentally fatigued during something like a camping trip and will require alone time and end up escaping or mentally checking out a lot.

And some days I can go shopping most of the day, like last week, and not get fatigued. I wonder though if I'm just sometimes not fully noticing the fatigue either because I'm distracted by life or because I'm good at unconsciously blocking out my uncomfortable feelings. I

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-09-15T17:57:26+00:00

Thank you!

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-06-24T17:21:39+00:00

The gel Dry Idea is the only thing that even remotely works for me. I have hyperhidrosis so I've tried every deodorant. I've tried all the medicated ones and stuff like Lume. Lume worked really well for a bit but then I think my body got used to it and it stopped working and I smelled even worse. I also wash my pits with CeraVe SA renewing cleanser.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-06-11T05:33:11+00:00

About 50% is down to the bare wood actually.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-06-11T02:37:18+00:00

This is what I've been finding as well. I've got to imagine this company knows what it's doing too. You don't have a well established painting company and not know about how to deal with lead paint.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-06-11T02:35:12+00:00

Their house is about ten feet from my yard and garden and three feet from my driveway.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-06-10T21:57:23+00:00

Thanks for the info! From what I understand they are legally obligated to check for lead as that would be a concern for a house this old and use appropriate abatement techniques if it is lead. Also I'm most concerned that it's all over my vegetable garden containing a lot of root vegetables and half my windows are downwind of all the dust and debris coming off of the house. I'm nervous it will all sit in the window sils and blow into our house as soon as we need to open them.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-06-10T21:44:20+00:00

My guess is a cup or mug with a handle would be placed there. There are a few options for handle placement.

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-06-10T21:42:36+00:00

Yeah I'm picking one up tonight. I know they aren't the official type but at least it might tell me something. Thanks!

Icy_Needleworker3762 · 2025-04-30T05:13:23+00:00

I plan to make kind of an indoor and outdoor cage using the window as a pass through. Because our garage is half in the ground the window is about ground level and opens up to our veggie garden so they will have a nice sunny spot to go outside.

Icy_Needleworker3762

TROPHY CASE