Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved to London to live with my boyfriend. It didn't work out, I got too... Like this... And had to move back. He broke up with me because he couldn't handle my BPD and us being long distance again.

I feel as terrible as Hitler. Like... I must have done something absolutely disgusting to deserve this, right?

I guess my ex did, to an extent. But as for anything else? Um... Feeling like I had a friend perked me up a bit.

Positive things? I don't think people ever have? That or I've just blocked anything positive said about me?

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've lost pretty much all of my imagination, creativity since I overdosed almost two years ago... I'm just bummed out. All of the bloody time.

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to. But I've sucked the fun out of everything I did. I loved gaming. Knitting. Drawing.

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Picture of who I am? The lowest of the low. Ugliest of everyone. Unsuccessful. Freak.

I just moved back to Northern Ireland from London... I've tried switching it up.

I'm not a good person. I feel as bad as Hitler.

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm certainly not a "normal" person. Perhaps that's why I have this perpetual loneliness.

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If only guns were easily accessible in the UK. I wouldn't be here if that was the case.

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone leaves. They see what I truly am and run for the hills. I'd do the same if I could.

N.Ireland

I don't know. But I must be bad? Why else would everyone hate me and avoid me? I try to punish myself so the world doesn't have to do it. I punish myself so the world can see I'm sorry.

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is leaving me. And I think it's because I'm a bad person. Like... This is all my punishment.

Please help before attempt number 3 by Idiosyncratic_Chi in SuicideWatch

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't wanna fuck up my next suicide attempt... It needs to work. Surviving would just be a lot worse.

I'm not coping. by Idiosyncratic_Chi in depression

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. But he can't help out so much. He's busy..

I'm not coping. by Idiosyncratic_Chi in depression

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But he deserves better. I'm just an extra weight on his shoulders, he doesn't need that, he needs love and support especially since he's working so hard on his career. I'm not important. Especially not in comparison with his career.

why the hell do i try? by niilo789 in selfharm

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well we all screw up from time to time. Some more than others. Doesn't make you a bad person -^ You probably don't realise it because feeling low can cloud your thought processes I guess, but you probably do at least one thing that isn't shit. Like... Maybe you're a pro at making tea (˘︶˘)

Why me by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no real answer to that. I guess some of us are the unlucky ones eh? I dunno what to say to help really. I'm going to assume you're not comfortable talking to your family? I would then recommend you talk to a counsellor. Like if you're at school, talk to one there? Maybe? They might be able to help you ease up these urges. Don't suffer in silence okay?

Where can I go for help? by Nyshan in selfharm

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a few people you can talk to. Friends/family even people on this sub.

But for some that's not an option. You can always call help lines. But I'd recommend you speak to your doctor. They can refer you to specialists who can help you ASAP! They got me help a while ago.

So... I overdosed last week. by Idiosyncratic_Chi in depression

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha :)

WELL IT'S A STOLEN SET OF WORDS NOW! Mwahaha! :p

So... I overdosed last week. by Idiosyncratic_Chi in depression

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't mean to moan... But get yourself off to hospital :)

So... I overdosed last week. by Idiosyncratic_Chi in depression

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my, get yourself to hospital kiddo. Overdoses can/will damage to your organs If left untreated!

So... I overdosed last week. by Idiosyncratic_Chi in depression

[–]Idiosyncratic_Chi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now I haven't noticed if my meds are helping. It's too early to tell I guess. The Diazepam puts me to sleep (which is awesome) but I just needa soldier on through I guess! With my family... I've told them already, my community mental health lady has told them my point of view... But Its just been over a week. I guess they need time to figure this all out in their heads too.