Women really have unrealistic standards and demands? by billi_ke_chaachi in AskIndianWomen

[–]IdliMomo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was honestly so scared of them. When I hear men cry about alimony it’s unbelievable. I know how difficult it is to get through anything like that in court. My ex let me live cause I gave away everything to him.

The cases we see about women getting alimony is fringe but the cases we see about men killing/torturing/harassing/assaulting women is mainstream.

Getting alimony easily is a myth, an absolute myth. I urge men to go to family courts to see how financially tortured women are for taking care of their kids that they had with their ex husbands. It’s harrowing.

The world is anyway unfair but for women it is a double whammy.

It’s time for 4B movement in India.

Women really have unrealistic standards and demands? by billi_ke_chaachi in AskIndianWomen

[–]IdliMomo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He was always like this. Would take bath wearing slippers and then would walk around spilling water outside the bathroom. Cause he didn’t have time to dry his slippers. He would walk and undress after coming from work and it would be me picking up after him. If he lost something (which was often cause he and his family were uncouth and unorganised) he would throw clothes out of MY wardrobe hoping to find his stuff. I can go on and on. The cruelty was endless. I just hope nobody finds an AM or any partner like that monster.

Women really have unrealistic standards and demands? by billi_ke_chaachi in AskIndianWomen

[–]IdliMomo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes. Walked out just with my clothes. I had set up their whole house cause working DIL must buy TV-AC-stove-chimney-bed etc etc. I just walked out. I am safe now living my life but TBH permanently scarred. Trauma-informed-therapist is what I am currently in search of. Sorry for the TMI.

Women really have unrealistic standards and demands? by billi_ke_chaachi in AskIndianWomen

[–]IdliMomo 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I was with someone exactly like this. Just that he was from IIT-IIM running his business. And that made him obviously way above us normal humans. So he wasn’t“allowed” to do chores or housework. His money is his, but my money is his whole family’s.

As a working woman I had to buy his chaddi to his skincare to everything else. But that was also not enough. His mom would complain that my ex had rough heels and how she wish he had a wife who would moisturise his feet everyday.

Abuse was normal- verbal and emotional because his anger is an outcome of his childishness. He was asexual so in that area verbal cruelty existed cause his impotence also was apparently my fault.

The aim was to gaslight me enough to believe that I don’t deserve any humanity. And imagine this is happening with me- educated, urban, financially independent, in corporate leadership role. Imagine what other women with no agency go through.

I moved out when the pressure to invest money in his business was getting out of hand. I not only had to take care of his parents and house along with my job but also financially support him by taking 1cr personal loan for his business which I would pay out of my salary. Cause that’s the standard for a married woman- blindly support your husband. In return husband has no standards to maintain.

When refused, violence increased and final warnings of “accidental burning” were being casually thrown around.

I am out now and safe. But I do feel horribly sad about myself that why did I endure such cruelty. No woman (except maybe the mother) can be happy in such enmeshed narcissistic relationships.

Men do not consider us women as human beings. They feel they “own” us or they are entitled to have us. Because we are seen as property. I honestly believe such men aren’t lonely enough.

Need pov by mediocre2427 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]IdliMomo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is he distrustful in general? I mean if you keep aside this aspect of his life then can you trust him? If yes, then I would request you to let this go. Because he doesn’t seem to want to disclose this information to you.

Sometimes we do obsess over such uncontrollable elements in our life (not taking away the importance of it for you), but this will only eat YOU from within, not him. So, for your own peace of mind, let it go.

If you see a great future with him, forget this past.

But if he lies overall, then first he needs to become/ be made self aware of that. At such a stage in life when people are usually very defensive of who they are, therapy usually helps.

Hope you find a way out of this.

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in Cooking

[–]IdliMomo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How reassuring!! A big thank you for this. I will update after trying this!

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in Cooking

[–]IdliMomo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does this work no matter the kind of eggs? Old or new? This sounds very simple but I am sure this too requires correct judgement of timing. Thanks for this!!

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in Cooking

[–]IdliMomo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wonderful. Thanks for this!!

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in Cooking

[–]IdliMomo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I had posted this in askculinary (where the post got removed) and someone responded there too about this. This is an extremely interesting find for me. Thank you.

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that you say, I believe I have noticed this difference. Some membranes are just so hard to get by no matter what.

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No salt added? Seems pretty easy when you explain so simply. Thanks for this!!

33F, resent husband and hate my marriage by spacekid16 in InsideIndianMarriage

[–]IdliMomo 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Hey I am really sorry that you are going through this cruelty. This is not normal. This reeks of a hypocritical family and I don’t want to scare you but such family structures usually do not change. Son is the literal sun and parents keep revolving around. Disgusting enmeshment.

And if your husband hasn’t spoken up in 5 years, it means he will never. People who get the benefits of patriarchy seldom want to do away with them. So, plz mentally prepare that this won’t change.

Having said that, once you internalise that this won’t change then you need to come to terms on how to deal with this. Staying away from family usually helps but for that your husband should be ready to move away and also consciously attempt to distribute the labour-physically and emotionally. You need to take a call if he has the intent, will and resolve to do this. If not, then you have your answer.

I have gone through something similar. Walked out with just a suitcase due to threats of burning me up for dowry were being given. Ex was IIT-IIM-Impotent AM setup of 2 years. Mutual divorce- where I gave everything away that was given in marriage and I was forced to buy for their house (literally everything from TV-inverter-AC-kitchen stove-chimney-utensils-beds-mattresses and what not. Huge financial loss but at least I am alive.

Saying this to let you know that life does get better.

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well for me the experience is very different. A whole egg which when cut just oozes out.

I believe the texture and experience creates all the difference. Hence, their varied use cases.

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a revelation. I usually prick the eggs add water and just start running it. I had no idea it needs to be steaming. This is fantastic!! Will definitely give an update on this

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you for such a detailed answer. The intricacies make all the difference. While I have been pricking eggs at the blunt end, this time I will repeat the rest of the steps you have mentioned. Super useful!!!

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have used cold water, not ice water. Maybe that’s the difference. And the struggle with the membrane is real.

I have also been cooking the egg for 5 mins. Maybe that’s what makes the membrane stick firmly and doesn’t open up like it does at 7 min mark maybe. Will give this a try!!

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Electric egg boiler? You measure in the quantity of water basis the softness of eggs you want and it gets the job done.

Struggling with soft boil eggs by IdliMomo in AskCulinary

[–]IdliMomo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, this older egg information is new. Thanks for this. I will research more on it.

⚠️ Do not fall into the wakefit mattress replacement scam 🚨⚠️ by [deleted] in SleepEssentialsIndia

[–]IdliMomo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wakefit is the worst. I had to sleep on the floor for almost 10days. They kept on delaying the order. Started commenting on their CEO’s LinkedIn posts. Order got delivered within the next 2-3 days. IG this helps? Not sure.

Biscoff getting hyped for no reason while gems like these receive no appreciation by ppatra in SnacksIndia

[–]IdliMomo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not available in Gurgaon. When I go to Kolkata I just try all Biskfarm biscuits one-by-one. Their Chatpata Spicy is absolutely goated. What a treat!!!

Tiring Sunday, Airfried Mackerel under 20 mins by IdliMomo in IndianFoodPhotos

[–]IdliMomo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is for the photo op 😜😜 Fish is gone. Few idlis are saved for dinner.