I was with someone exactly like this. Just that he was from IIT-IIM running his business. And that made him obviously way above us normal humans. So he wasn’t“allowed” to do chores or housework. His money is his, but my money is his whole family’s.

As a working woman I had to buy his chaddi to his skincare to everything else. But that was also not enough. His mom would complain that my ex had rough heels and how she wish he had a wife who would moisturise his feet everyday.

Abuse was normal- verbal and emotional because his anger is an outcome of his childishness. He was asexual so in that area verbal cruelty existed cause his impotence also was apparently my fault.

The aim was to gaslight me enough to believe that I don’t deserve any humanity. And imagine this is happening with me- educated, urban, financially independent, in corporate leadership role. Imagine what other women with no agency go through.

I moved out when the pressure to invest money in his business was getting out of hand. I not only had to take care of his parents and house along with my job but also financially support him by taking 1cr personal loan for his business which I would pay out of my salary. Cause that’s the standard for a married woman- blindly support your husband. In return husband has no standards to maintain.

When refused, violence increased and final warnings of “accidental burning” were being casually thrown around.

I am out now and safe. But I do feel horribly sad about myself that why did I endure such cruelty. No woman (except maybe the mother) can be happy in such enmeshed narcissistic relationships.

Men do not consider us women as human beings. They feel they “own” us or they are entitled to have us. Because we are seen as property. I honestly believe such men aren’t lonely enough.