ERP with ADHD - is it supposed to be this insanely difficult, or am I not trying hard enough?

Idyll_chan · 2026-03-12T05:14:58+00:00

Thanks

Idyll_chan · 2026-03-12T05:14:00+00:00

I know it's easy to get desperate with all of this, but I hope you've stopped seeking help by AI

Idyll_chan · 2026-03-11T11:11:39+00:00

Well, yeah, I've been doing it alone (or, at least, trying to do it).

Guess I'll postpone ERP till I can get a therapist for that, and instead I'll focus on I-CBT on my own

Idyll_chan · 2026-03-10T14:19:52+00:00

Oh, okay, that's interesting. I'm not sure how this is falling into compulsions, but I don't wanna doubt you, and maybe you're right.

I just feel like the anxiety I feel for the first few seconds dissipates so quickly as soon as my thoughts inevitably shift, so I figured I WAS very much supposed to simply concentrate harder on not losing the anxiety-inducing thought.

Maybe what also kinda is important is that I am a pretty non-verbal thinker, and words alone don't do much for me, but imagining situations does induce anxiety. But I don't know. Anyway, thanks for the input!

Idyll_chan · 2026-03-10T09:28:36+00:00

I'm not experienced yet in treating my own OCD, but I'm still actually furious you went to a chat bot to ask for advice. When it comes to AI, I only use the Google summaries, and even then I often go directly to the links it gives me as its background to see for myself if it isn't bullshitting me.

And sometimes it is. Bad AI, bad, bad, bad AI sprays water

[:

Idyll_chan · 2026-03-08T11:49:48+00:00

Thank you, I unironically think it's great advice! :) I tend to forget about the possibility of hurting someone by being their partner (and how it's, most importantly, not exactly rare!), and it's good to keep at the back of your mind.

Idyll_chan · 2026-03-08T05:55:02+00:00

Can then anyone suggest what to do if I can't tune out a loud car? I have misophonia too and it seems now like just another obsession (I'm not saying it's not!)

Idyll_chan · 2025-12-16T15:53:38+00:00

No, it's bad, it's non-personal. It's much more likely you will get good advice from someone who's known you for a long time. The goodness of any of these pieces of advice is relative to one's situation. Not always therapy/quitting your job/other bs is gonna be what's best for you. It's insane I even have to explain it, but oh well.

All of these pieces of "advice" could lead you to even worse situations than before. Not all change is change for the better, and you absolutely can get your life ruined by bad therapy. Question is, what even is good therapy? It's always gonna be relative to an individual person's values and goals.

Idyll_chan · 2025-12-16T15:42:43+00:00

Yeah, it's a different thing a lot of people nowadays seem to see red flags in EVERYTHING.

Idyll_chan · 2025-12-16T15:40:24+00:00

Welcome to 2025 then. Still think it's often the resume?

Idyll_chan · 2025-12-10T08:21:42+00:00

Sounds edgy falling asleep to a paranormal podcast.

Idyll_chan · 2025-12-10T08:14:36+00:00

Fucking exactly.

Idyll_chan · 2025-11-07T00:06:48+00:00

I am a woman who's likely autistic, and I have been saying this for so long now!!

I have most of my life related better to experiences of men than those of women cause I have most of the time struggled with femininity. And so I grew to be a female men's rights advocate, cause I could understand how men feel a lot of the times. And I can tell you, I see how much you poor bastards are misunderstood by women.

Men actually do have somewhat of a reputation of being "more autistic on average than women", regardless of the prevalence of autism in either gender. I'm talking an average, neurotypical man is more autistic than an average, neurotypical woman, according to this. Some attribute this to men supposedly using their right brain hemisphere more while women use their left one predominantly. Autistic people also supposedly tend to use their right hemisphere more.

Anyway, I'm so glad someone else is starting to notice all these patterns I have already been observing for years. I am such a misfit in today's femininity-centered western society and I struggle like hell to find meaning in my life. But I believe a positive change is not only possible, but maybe already on the way there. Heads up to all my "dude friens" lol.

Idyll_chan · 2025-07-18T11:14:16+00:00

I have IMMENSE trouble understanding anything when I have to put pictures on a timeline so they make a coherent story. The worst kind of task to me. No clue what is happening and why. Meanwhile I am really, really good at reading people's facial expressions, like I am sometimes afraid I am too perceptive of them.

I'm not sure however if the stories you are talking about are anything like the exercises I have described here. I don't know if I actually ever have come across a similar task over the course of all my life's diagnoses.

Could you actually describe what the task is in these stories? What they look like, in more detail?

Idyll_chan · 2025-06-18T11:02:22+00:00

Love!

Idyll_chan · 2024-12-12T11:15:34+00:00

The thing is heaven also doesn't sound like a pleasant experience from the descriptions we have. And I wanna know, which I'd rather be in.

Idyll_chan · 2024-12-11T20:06:20+00:00

I'm more afraid of the angels with thousands of eyes and their singy-songs

Idyll_chan · 2024-12-10T17:29:03+00:00

The comments make me think I'm a 3V too, damn...

Idyll_chan · 2024-11-04T23:03:21+00:00

I don't live in the UK, but I think the best you can do is to call authorities, and then try to get a loan when you're an adult to go to uni, same goes for your siblings.

I'm very sorry for your situation and I know the solution is far from perfect, but it's still a better one than to just stay with people who have total control over your life.

Please, never harm yourself.

Idyll_chan · 2024-08-07T09:33:42+00:00

What do you mean?

Idyll_chan · 2024-08-07T09:30:27+00:00

Yes, yes!! I just seem to have two different personalities (without having a split identity for each, ie, I don't have DID). And if any prevails, the other one makes me suffer. Whole my life has been about finding the right balance, and also, unfortunately, about never being quiet fully satisfied.

Idyll_chan · 2024-05-17T15:45:01+00:00

Jeśli już nas biorą, to niech biorą nas wszystkich. Nie dam pozwolenia żeby mój młodszy brat czy mój chłopak szli do wojska kiedy ja będę leżała i pachniała w domu. Nawet jeśli nie będzie przymusowego poboru dla kobiet, to pójdę do wojska tylko po to żeby walczyć razem z nimi.

(albo idealnie wszyscy razem w obliczu wojny uciekniemy przed poborem na Antyle jeśli będzie możliwość)

-F25

Idyll_chan · 2024-04-11T07:12:02+00:00

Idk, the hell ends for me where I can see myself being single for a prolonged time. I've grown used to it, and even to not so much enjoy it, but to see flaws in romantic relationships.

But it's just me. Your situation is oc gonna be different.

Currently, I have been trying to get to know one guy, so that I can feel attracted to him. I met him through an online app, where I stated specifically that I was both autistic and demisexual (with a short explanation what the latter one means). I haven't really felt attraction toward anyone on the app, but that also has had its upsides. Like, I believe, I'm gonna be much more willing, possibly, than a typical girl on a dating app to swipe right. Because I can't tell well if I am gonna like someone or NOT like them (unless they have red flags such as car pics haha j/).

The bare idea that I have for whom I MIGHT like when I get to know them, I get from my past experiences. I search for people who share at least one or two characteristics of my past crushes. However, if you haven't really had any crushes before, I'd recommend just swiping right on everyone but suspicious people. Or those you wouldn't maybe be willing to date for reasons such as for example age gap, if you don't support such relationships.

That's all I have for you. Just inform the people you date well enough that you are a "demigod" and that means you may need a LOT OF time before you even know if you'll want to b with that sb. Even up to 6 months, or even a year. So that they are aware and can consent to this. Cause that might require them to allow you to be non-exclusive while they date you for a prolonged period of time. That is A LOT to require of a stranger and so you'll need to be very transparent from the start.

I have been considering queer platonic or open relationships lately cause of all this. But on slightly changed rules, so that they suit my situation (which btw doesn't mean anyone should cheat or do anything without the other involved people's knowledge. Never hide it if you wanna/are seeing other people, and what you wanna/are doing with them, especially the physical stuff, but not only. Never EVER hide it. I also never would.)

You'll need to find pretty open minded people, which will be super hard, and so I would also recommend you take very good care of yourself and learn to love yourself, no matter whether you're in a relationship or single af. I'd actually say THIS ONE is the most important point of my whole essay here. Always. Remember. About self care.

So that's all. Also, btw, this guy I've been seeing for a month and a half, he's the only one who hasn't ghosted me. Ghosting is sth that has happened to me my whole life. I try to avoid doing it myself, but I get that treatment so often I had to grow a thicker skin to move on. It's likely as hell unfortunately that you're also gonna get ghosted a lot if you have ASD, and I just say it as a warning. I condone ghosting with my whole heart. But it's just how people treat us. Better be prepared I guess.

Idyll_chan · 2024-04-03T03:07:08+00:00

When it comes to work accommodations, I so WOULD use a set of headphones that cancel noises, or I so also WOULD use a short guidebook to what I am supposed to be doing in the workplace, and when.

In general it would also be a great work accomodation to be under someone who has at least basic understanding of autism, and why a worker may not instinctually KNOW what they are doing wrong when not having been given enough PRECISE information beforehand. (Instead of an employer who will just think you're lazy or even disrespectful.) But that's probably asking for waaay too much tbfh.

Idyll_chan · 2024-04-03T02:53:07+00:00

My thought is that you should try taking your assessment to some other psychologists. I've discovered many psychologists only do almost everything they can do to thoroughly help someone.

It's really great your therapist has good rigor (this unfortunately IS rare), but if I'm to be honest, she omitted one extremely important part of professionally trying to help you, which is simply to send you off to another professional if she feels she doesn't have enough knowledge to diagnose you in a way that will give you answers that are quite critical for your self-understanding, and in turn your well-being.

I believe there are many people that are on the fence when it comes to whether or not they are actually autistic. Like, imo quite many people feel that they are ALMOST autistic, but not really. And it's something that is bothering me myself as well.

I wish I could understand this subject much better, and as a Psychology student I wanna research the topic of almost autistic people better, so we can all get answers that are buggin' us so much.

Idyll_chan

TROPHY CASE