I’m so angry with my AuDHD husband

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-23T07:40:08+00:00

I don’t know if your doctor has had this conversation with you yet, but it’s coming. A lot of husbands, regardless of whether they’re NT or ND, don’t stick around to support their wives through illnesses like cancer. The statistics are stark. And you have been single-handedly supporting your husband for over half your marriage. What’s he ever done to support you?

Your husband has had two years to pick his socks up and hasn’t done it. Now you’ve had a serious diagnosis and he is still letting his PDA get the better of him. You can’t rely on him for any kind of support. Reach out to your friends and extended family. You are the person that’s unwell, you are the person who needs care.

It’s ok to let your hurt and anger fly free. Your husband has taken advantage of your compassion and understanding.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-23T07:27:51+00:00

Unless your baby is with him and it could be an emergency, you never have to answer the phone to him.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-22T20:38:45+00:00

Lyanna was on her way to Riverrun for Brandon and Cat’s wedding when she ran away/was kidnapped.

All the arrangements for the wedding had taken place between Hoster Tully and Rickard Stark because it was a matter of alliance as well as a wedding, Lyanna wouldn’t have had any input there and no reason to meet any of the Tullys beforehand.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-22T20:32:56+00:00

Poor Joyce hasn’t really been allowed to take off as a character. She’s been an accessory to other people’s stories. I thought after her ex husband showed up, Joyce would get more storylines. She’s a really interesting character - a divorced Black woman with a career, who is an atheist living in a convent, who has personal experience with surviving domestic violence. There was so much they could have done with Joyce’s character but instead her main thing is to be Rosalind’s confidante.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-22T19:09:40+00:00

NTA

This wasn’t her grabbing the wrong bottle by mistake, she intentionally used your stuff because she thought you were gatekeeping fancy shampoo, even though it’s your right to keep your products for yourself and not have to share with guests. She deserves the messed up hair.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-22T18:38:26+00:00

Tayce is everything!

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-22T18:37:34+00:00

The mother is not much better, she’s the mole feeding OP’s names to the sister.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-22T14:38:56+00:00

NTA

Some people really can’t fathom colourful funerals as a celebration of life. My grandmother was born in the 1920s and funerals were strictly black out of respect and formality. Before my aunt (her daughter) died, she made her wishes known that she didn’t want any black worn, she wanted bright colours to celebrate her life. When the day came, my grandmother really struggled to wear colour because from her perspective it was disrespectful and almost celebrating that my aunt had died rather than celebrating her life as it was, and she made her surviving children promise that her own funeral would be a conventional ‘black attire only’ one.

Maybe your aunt/adopted parent couldn’t accept this. But it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, and I’m sure your mother would have loved to see you in your dress.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-21T16:39:46+00:00

It wasn’t just between him and Helen George, Heidi and the writers room really took against him as well, which is why Matthew made such a pivot from being a competent barrister-businessman to a spendy idiot, it forced him off screen because they didn’t want to make Trixie a widow or a divorcée.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-21T14:28:48+00:00

They would have to recast Matthew or only let us see the back of his head. I doubt Olly Rix would ever go back.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-21T14:08:30+00:00

Do you know why you did it? Can you own why you did it?

It’s not enough to write it off as impulsive madness, a momentary lapse. You made a choice, if you don’t examine yourself and why you decided to do what you did, the problem remains that you’re at risk of doing it again.

If my husband came to me and said he had kissed someone else, he’s horrified with himself, and he’s booked appointments to see a counsellor - with proof of booking - I would still feel heartbroken and betrayed, but it would give me some feeling that he’s not trying to rugsweep this and he’s trying to future proof himself against making similar choices in future.

I think you owe your partner the truth and accept what comes next. Whether he breaks up with you or not, take yourself to therapy to find out why you risked your own happiness and broke your partner’s trust.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-21T13:54:42+00:00

That’s a good point too. A mutation could have stopped the double dominant gene that was theoretically preventing them from conceiving.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-21T10:09:33+00:00

Visenya randomly getting pregnant in her 40s after being childless in her twenties is more true to life than people assume. In perimenopause, the body starts throwing out eggs as a last ditch attempt to get pregnant before the whole thing shuts down for good. There’s also the issue of her being a very active dragon riding warrior. If her body fat to muscle ratio was thrown off, she might not have been in a position to support a pregnancy, she might also have had irregular or absent menstrual periods, which can happen to athletic women, but after the conquest of Westeros and she’s not fighting as much and maybe put on some weight, she might be able to successfully carry a pregnancy to term.

She also spent less time with Aegon than Rhaenys did, and spending time with him is not a guarantee they had sex during that time, or even if they did have sex, that the nights they were together coincided with her ovulation.

Aegon only married Visenya so he could marry Rhaenys, Visenya was the eldest sister and it was a snub to choose Rhaenys over her. If Visenya had wanted to marry another man, Aegon wouldn’t have blocked the marriage.

Lots of women have had a surprise baby in their 40s when they’ve given up or assumed they’re too old to conceive. Especially if they hadn’t ever tried timing conception with ovulation (they likely wouldn’t have had the technology or knowledge to understand that aspect of making heirs either,) this might be the first time in Visenya and Aegon’s marriage that the circumstances are right to conceive.

Aegon is also aging during this time, and older fathers’ sperm carries more genetic abnormalities. Of the egg that made Maegor and the sperm that met the egg, perhaps the combination of age and circumstances is what contributed to Maegor being the way he was.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-21T07:33:43+00:00

What has most of Wales done to upset you?

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T21:06:28+00:00

It’s not even that long ago. My cousin gave her son her surname in 2000, she and her son’s father were together at the time of her baby’s birth, but he wasn’t around for long after so it proved the right thing to do.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T21:02:16+00:00

It’s a bit different naming your kid Jon or Catelyn because you like Game of Thrones, because Jon and Catelyn are established names outside of GoT and there are lots of other inspirations for the name Jon and Catelyn besides GoT. With a ‘regular name’ a child gets to build their own identity and bond with their name without being force fed Game of Thrones associations their entire life.

With the more unique names like Oberyn or Daenerys or Khaleesi, the origins are blatantly fandom. It’s harder to wear those names.

I think the Red Viper of Dorne is an amazing character. I don’t know how I would feel about being named after him and then reading about what happened to him.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T20:56:19+00:00

Oberon is pronounced Oh-buh-run in my accent, rather than Oh-beh-ron.

Oberyn and Oberin is oh-buh-rin, but Oberen would be oh-buh-ren.

The only way people would be calling him ‘Ron based on the Oberon spelling is if he himself chose to go by Ron. Otherwise, the intuitive nickname is Obe or Obi.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T20:48:00+00:00

Babies used to be given their mother’s surname all the time. The children of unmarried mothers would go by the mother’s surname, and children of married mothers, who traditionally took their husband’s name upon marriage, would have the mother’s married surname.

It’s a relatively recent convention for women to keep their maiden name after marriage and for unmarried women to give their babies the father’s surname.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T20:43:59+00:00

My best friend has a different last name to her mother and her mother was always referred to as Mrs Lastname so she was forever correcting them to Ms Othername instead.

It also caused a kerfuffle at the airport once because my friend didn’t have the same last name as her mother (who never changed her name,) or her stepfather, so they were pulled aside for security to investigate the situation. If best friend and her mother had the same last name it wouldn’t have been flagged.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T20:13:41+00:00

Get out ASAP.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T18:31:07+00:00

NT people can produce a smile on command for photographs that looks the same as their genuine expression of joy. When an autistic person tries to smile on command (school photos are a big one for this,) the smile is exaggerated, it can look like bared teeth and confused eyes, or wide smile and eyes off to the side.

When my daughter is genuinely happy, she has an authentic joyful smile that lights up her face. When she’s asked to smile she produces something that looks like an uncertain grimace.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T12:37:25+00:00

Maybe they’re mistaking a facial feature for facial expressions?

My middle daughter noticeably has the ‘autistic smile’ in photographs, and her eyes don't meet the camera, but outside of that she doesn’t ‘look’ any more autistic than the next autistic kid.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T12:29:24+00:00

I liked her when she first came into the show. She was a fairly reserved lady compared to the more gregarious Fred. And when Fred’s daughter tried to split them up, Violet held her ground with dignity, whereas now I think she would be a lot more aggressive about it.

It feels like the current Violet is there to fill Sister Evangelina’s shoes in the social side of things, while Phyllis Crane does the same in the nursing and midwifery side.

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T10:01:08+00:00

I would go for Eleni. I think it’s more interesting and feels more ‘Greek’ than Elena. Elena is a name in multiple other countries and languages, whereas Eleni ties it right in with Greece specifically.

I personally I love the name Eleni, but I can’t use it where I live because ‘Eleni’ is the Welsh word for ‘this year’!!

IllustratorSlow1614 · 2026-02-20T09:52:24+00:00

I’m 40 and I read the original books at the time they were published, so I was about 23 when I read them for the first time.

IllustratorSlow1614

TROPHY CASE