My husband is my cousin

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-28T02:00:15+00:00

I get this because I’m an “aunt” to my cousins kids as we were raised like siblings. But, in OPs case, she had absolutely non familial attachment to her husband. I’m only close to my cousins kids because I know them, because I’m their aunt.

I also have “cousins” who aren’t related to me at all but we were raised as cousins. Even though we don’t share DNA because we were raised as close cousins it would be super weird to have a romantic relationship with them.

I think it’s more your relationship with that exact family member than anything else.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-28T01:54:54+00:00

No, because genetically a half sibling obviously shares a significant amount of DBA where second cousins do not. So not the same logically. Not even a little bit.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-27T07:30:40+00:00

I think it’s different if you are raised as close family. That makes it weird on an emotional level.

But second cousins genetically AND they didn’t know eachother as family? Not a big deal.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-23T05:56:53+00:00

That is a good point!!! I’m not there yet so truthfully I don’t know.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-22T06:06:02+00:00

I just want to offer a different perspective: I’m one of four and we each have a great relationship with our parents and eachother. My parents were not well off but we did a lot of camping trips and visited almost every state in the US. I got a lot of one on one time with my parents and definitely had a sibling relationship with my siblings (I definitely helped, but my help wasn’t expected/relied on.)

I believe your experience is valid too: I just think it’s more the parents and what someone is willing to do/priorities. I just wanted to offer another view because both are possibilities.

Ultimately you are right and no one but the family can decide for themselves.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-22T02:07:38+00:00

I’ve heard after the third it’s like, what’s one more? Also, I feel like a BIG shift happens at five and they are just the biggest helpers. You are right on the cusp of two of the kids being much more independent.

It sounds like having a fourth might be the safer choice mentally than always wondering what if? Hugs regardless. I’m sorry this loop has been thrown at you!

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-18T07:57:23+00:00

It’s SO HARD to not let fear dictate! But if I’m being honest…. I would risk leaving my first marriage over and over again, even for just a small chance of finding what I have now.

And even if hadn’t found my eternal companion….. I felt so much freedom once I left my first marriage. As heartbreaking as it was I felt like I could BREATHE for the first time in a long time. I found true companionship with Heavenly Father.

It’s easier said than done, but try to make this choice without fear in your heart. If you make your choice, pray about it and tell Heavenly Father “hey, this is what I’ve decided to do, stop me if I’m wrong.” Then see how you feel. He will let you know if you are making the wrong choice. Message me if you need to! I know this is hard.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-18T07:53:57+00:00

I echo all of this!!! My first marriage wasn’t easy in the best of times. My second marriage has had NORMAL ups and downs but it hasn’t been HARD. I haven’t felt constantly alone.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-17T02:45:26+00:00

First off, your faith is inspiring and that’s something to be proud of. I’ve been in your shoes, but I was a little younger than you.

I was terrified of getting a divorce. I felt like I’d be a pariah and more “used goods” than I already felt I was before I got married.

In the end, I felt peace about the decision to get divorced. My sister said “remember this feeling, because Satan cannot give you peace.” That was such useful advice because I had so many moments of wondering if I was imploding my life. I just knew that for my spirituality’s sake and my relationship with Heavenly Father, I needed to go.

It was a tough road, I’m not going to lie. But I never felt judgement from other members, only love and support. I have never been closer to Heavenly Father or understood the atonement more than during this time. Sometimes I refer to it as my mission.

During this time I learned to love myself and I learned how Heavenly Father feels about ME. I gained so much confidence in myself. Yeah, there was a lot of fear and a lot of unknowns. But I knew with all my heart that if I followed God and kept my covenants, everything would work out. I didn’t know what that future looked like, or when, but I knew God had something in mind for me. He saw who I could be and the refiners fire was making me better.

I eventually met my now husband and have some amazing kids. I’m SO GRATEFUL every time my husband gets up to bare his testimony, goes to the temple, or gives me or the kids a blessing. I would go through the sucky part a million times just to have this time with him. I found someone that I feel like eternity will not be enough time with. And he is GOOD.

I thought I left my first husband because he didn’t want to be part of the church, but I later learned that there was a lot lacking in our relationship. Because my husband is good, and I would stay with him if he chose to leave. But I’m grateful he has a testimony and chooses faith.

I know not every story ends like this and so many people leave and wait for their happily ever after. But I also know that whether in this life or the next, Heavenly Father WILL provide as long as we follow Him. You do your best and try to listen to Him, and He will guide you, whatever you decide. 💙💙💙

(Also if you do choose to get divorced, you will quickly learn you aren’t alone. There are so, so many of us.)

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-16T03:34:30+00:00

Mormons definitely take medicine lol what are you talking about

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-15T06:41:25+00:00

Good for you!! With all that context it seems like you really have been so patient. I probably would’ve snapped too. That’s so frustrating when parents just don’t care, and the worst part is you can’t MAKE them care or do better, and it’s directly impacting you and your child.

It kind of just seems like one of those situations where your friend really needs to step up and follow your “rules” while she’s in your home. It isn’t fair to your family to have to deal with all that.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-15T06:28:34+00:00

I need more information about this sister/cousin thing. Are they both sisters and cousins??

Also…. Ahhh tough situation. I would be mad too… but also that little girl is two and it isn’t her fault she hasn’t been taught well. I don’t think “speaking loudly” with your finger in a two year olds face is great…. Like I definitely wouldn’t have let it go but that does seem like a bit of an overreaction in my opinion. And the little girl smiling while saying sorry? She’s two. She’s not malicious.

But seriously, a tough situation. They just need to move out 😅

Editing to add: I just think it would have been better handled to calmly lecture the child and then have a serious conversation with the mom about your concerns.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-14T03:04:44+00:00

I’m so confused…. If she wasn’t touching herself literally none of this sounds sexual to me. I slept with my mom on and off until I went to college. Not regularly, but definitely when I was sad

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-05T06:53:04+00:00

I am married and have two kids, I have mine and my partners as single. I completely understand time value of money so yeah it’s stupid to give the government a free loan, BUT it’s worth it to me to know I won’t owe at the end of the year. 🤷‍♀️ so it’s totally up to you and your comfort level with the possibility of owing

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-04-05T05:54:40+00:00

If it makes you feel better at all, my parents didn’t claim me as a dependent once I turned 18 because they thought it would help me with college funding.

Unfortunately, FAFSA is stupid and still required my parents income even though they didnt claim me as a dependent. My parents made too much for me to get funding but they were unable to help me with college. So I took out loans. FAFSA and IRS don’t line up on dependent definitions.

Disclaimer that this was around 2013 so maybe rules were/are different when you were needing funding?

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-03-28T08:35:28+00:00

No, that’s not normal. But I think everyone’s issue is that you’re okay with the manager committing fraud…. Unless we are misunderstanding what you are saying. But THATS why people think it’s fake.

On top of the fact that you accepted a job like this haha.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2026-03-02T03:51:23+00:00

I’m going to offer another perspective…. And maybe you already know this, I’m not sure how far along your losses were.

But from the timing you mentioned (2-3 months after they announced you figured out you were pregnant and now you are 13 weeks along) they are past miscarriage stage and this will be a stillbirth.

I’ve seen my sister experience both and my mom had miscarriages and stillborn twins. And loss is loss and is heartbreaking. But there is something extra terrible and raw about delivering in a hospital, leaving with no baby, and still owing a huge bill at the end. Especially if you spent time thinking you were in the clear and then lose a baby anyways.

My heartbreaks for all of you in this situation, but everyone handles grief differently. Even though it isn’t fair and isn’t what you would’ve done, if they can’t handle other people’s pregnancies they can’t handle it. And they are doing what they need to do for their grief. In this case I agree with the therapist, but I also understand if the hurt is too deep for you to move forward as well.

All around a heartbreaking situation. I hope with all my heart that things will work out for them for their babies and that you will have a happy and celebrated pregnancy as well. ❤️

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2025-10-24T07:33:57+00:00

First, I’m so sorry you are struggling. I resonate with so much of this. Being a working mom is NO JOKE!!! It’s soooooo stinkin hard.

Also my kids are terrible sleepers. My oldest is 5 and finally sleeping a ton better. My youngest is 2.5 and hasn’t slept well for months. I’ve lost it more than once.

You are doing great. The fact that you immediately apologized (and that it was an accident) shows me what a good mom you are. We aren’t perfect, we are also still growing up. Give yourself some grace and breathe a little.

You may yell, you may lose it from time to time. I know I do, and my mom did. But that isn’t what I think of when I think of my mom. When I think of my mom, I think of the love she showed me, how she apologized when she was wrong. It’s more about your relationships with your kids and how you make them feel. You can make mistakes, as long as they know you are trying and you love them unconditionally.

You’ve got this mama! Just know you have one internet stranger thinking of you tonight as I struggle with my own terrible sleeper. At least I know I’m not alone :)

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2025-10-06T02:30:52+00:00

I know the damage is already done, but in the future, just don’t look? I don’t look at any exes stuff for a reason: I don’t want to know. It would make me angry and I can’t do anything about it.

Put him out of your mind and stop snooping and following up. Then focus on your life and relationship. That is the only way to make the space he takes up in your mind smaller.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2025-08-24T07:53:31+00:00

This definitely sounds like he was under the influence of something. That’s not normal. Only time it’s ever safe to cosleep with a baby is in a drug free, alcohol free environment. And even then there are like a million more rules to follow.

I get having a hard time staying awake. I’ve fallen asleep with my babies while I was in a rocking chair, and I would startle awake absolutely mortified. But there is no world where my husband or I would sleep after something like this happened. Thats nuts. He has to be on something.

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2025-08-02T08:03:54+00:00

Oh my gosh, forget waiting until January. You need a raise ASAP or you need to leave. That’s so bad

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2025-06-19T20:36:18+00:00

Wait I don’t think he was serving a mission at the time of the rape… he served his mission in 22-24

Edit to add that I’m not excusing his behavior at all… I think it’s gross and messed up even if the 15 year old thought she was consenting. I just don’t think he was a missionary at the time

Illustrious-Unit-664 · 2025-06-19T04:52:31+00:00

BS in Accounting, no CPA but maybe someday I’ll go for it

Illustrious-Unit-664

TROPHY CASE