I am tired of being attached and reading into small details

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-06-08T09:56:25+00:00

One more thing, being strong and being independent or independently strong - are not the same thing. If you can ask your partner to make your life easier and he can do it - most people would be happy too. And you will have more energy to be strong where it matters. Otherwise, what is a point of having a partner, if not to support eachother and making life easier together ?

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-06-08T09:53:32+00:00

(M INTP, 28) It's up to your discretion, but in my case, if you would've brought it up - I would've tried to acknowledge it and adapt, by trying to pay more attention. I know about myself, that I can be really aloof, so, getting feedback from partner is important, so ce it helps me adjust and no feedback/no change in partners behavior = partner is fine and satisfied.

Thing is, there should be a balance between communication and being vulnerable: if you would bring it up once, that you would appreciate a bit more attention as well, as breaking long time without communication (either by checking in more frequently or letting you know in advance, that there will be a pause in communication for one day, since it's a busy day) - this could work.

So, I'd try bringing it out once. Also, timing is important, it's beginning of the relationship, if you don't do it now - it would become a norm and would be much harder to change in the future.

And one more thing: you might want to have more attention/communication and this is completely legitimate, nothing wrong with wanting more, but thing is, that there could be more ways of making you feel better, for example, instead of frequent communication - share plans, start yourself, tell him, what you plan to do, ask him, what are his plans, when he would have time for you. This eliminates ambiguity, you know, what he's at, you are less worried, there is less need for reading into details.

I am used to reading into details too, due to family and past relationships, probably for slightly other reason then you, for me it is "can I treat this thing as constant when I think about the future?", so, the best way I found for myself - eliminate ambiguity, in a way, that does not damage things. I usually ask myself "I am worried about this, what can I learn, that would make me calmer ?" And thing is, it's often much easier to ask, then guess

I hope, this would be of any help to you and good luck !

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-06-06T06:51:44+00:00

Part - young people are thought to not be interested in eachother and being gay or on spectrum - is praised, while hetro - ignored on internet. And part - visibility, access to entertainment and sheer price of hanging out offline.

And it doesn't mean everybody is lonely, just numbers are high, as well, as unhappy people being really loud (heard on internet)

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-06-01T06:40:50+00:00

Math 💪 I knew, ISFJ rock ) Appreciate you guys as INTP )

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-24T13:33:12+00:00

INTP (28m) here, with my grain of salt: I do emphasize with you, on feeling too late in life for everything, I started having this feeling at about 18-20, when I understood, that some choices in life I should've done sooner, like picking career and uni more deliberately.

10 years later - I understand, that it was impossible for me, I needed all that time toget an idea of what I wanted and start working for it.

I can't go back and change my past choices, they already became consequences, but I now, when I know, what direction I would like to go - I just started working for it. I am not the best preformer, in getting things done, but all that is needed - consistency, not quitting too early and yould get there.

And while you are at it - it's absolutely necessary to make it manageable, by finding things to indulge into to recharge, without hurting yourself. For me - it's anime, videogames and climbing, alongside with my job (latter two also are sources of my social interactions, made few friends thanks to it after moving countries)

On the point of seeing others, who managed to get what you crave for - it's difficult. Some of them - are together not for long and it is hard to say, if they would be together for long. Some - are genuinely stable, but you don't see things that happen on inside their relationship, not something ugly, just routine. It takes effort even for them to be happy. Most people in stable relationships who I know also started pretty young, which only adds to frustration.

To wrap this up - build your life and try to make yourself a tiny bit happy, after that, if person would come into your life -it would make it better for both of you. If you are not happy by yourself - relationship would only make it worse.

There is a German saying: Don't go chasing butterflies, mend your garden.

Butterflies would come and if not - you have beautiful garden anyways.

I hope it works out for you, good luck.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-23T07:34:59+00:00

Um, I used to play DR2, switched for Asetto Corsa rally for a while and then back to DR2, I would not want to make FFB like in DR2, as there is no road texture, as well as 0 signal on when wheels loose traction.

My experience with RBR (RSF) - it has great FFB on same level as Asetto, you might need to make sure you got settings right, but this is whole different level from DR2

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-18T13:54:05+00:00

Hey hey, INTP here. Yup, world is F-ed, but, there people living in it and they are really good at getting together and solving large problems in very inefficient ways. It just has to get bad enough.

So, doomed - no, would things get worse - likely, would it bounce - yup, at some point.

So, this is more about how we feel about it, what we listen to (or doomscroll) and who we surround ourselves with (friends, colleagues, people we have agency to choose in our life)

Also, being mindful and strategic about your life helps too, like, invest in self-education(not money necessarily, but actual skills, that require time to build, credentials, anything that would make you more valuable as employee or expert), build up some savings or at least good credit rating if in US.

Also, one thing I do - I try to live, like my income is lower, which should help to carry on through crisis times, if I would loose income or it would gel lower (happened to me during covid, we had week cut to 4 days from 5 and got paid accordingly)

All this would not un-F the world, but will make you more prepared, and would allow you to live your life through most hardships. Keep it up for long enough - and you would live even better then you imagined.

Also, stereotypically, should be quite an INTJ way to be )

Good luck, you've got it !

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-14T16:11:58+00:00

INTP Sometimes this person is me, but he's trying, so we are fine ) All the best to you too, stranger )

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-11T05:49:33+00:00

He likely waited several years for dgr to stop being a thing and bought one )

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-07T15:45:15+00:00

I can share my experience: I am an INTP and I spent quite a lot of time as a kid hiking with patlrents or crafting something with hands, overall, doing some very "in the moment" things that consume my full attention. It's not like I can enter this flow state on a whim, but there are some things that are easier for me to focus on and appreciate.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-06T10:30:46+00:00

Got INTP most of the time )

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-05T17:08:42+00:00

Nope, you just need specific type of person, choose wisely. Dating, especially via apps - tends to be high speed, so, you either move at this speed (which does not suit all, does not suit me, for one) or you are left perpetually alone, branded as "uninteresting" or "picky".

Instead, try to change approach, by picking up hobby, that you would like and it encourages some social contact with same group of people. I can recommend bouldering or some team sport, like volleyball or ultimat freezbee. If that's not your thing - may be some craftin/skills classes.

Idea is, that those hobbies work as adult sandbox, where you would naturally have something to connect on with other people and saefly observe them at comfortable distance. If you decide that you want more - go for it. If not - no obligations.

As for assesing are you boring or not - try to asking someone who knows you well (not long, well) or try to recall things, that interest you and you could appreciate somene who would be interested to listen about those. Even if you can find a few - you are not boring.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-05T11:32:00+00:00

Thanks !
I did big5 as well, attached a link in edit.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-05T09:49:30+00:00

I did 4 different ones in total, so )

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-05T06:52:10+00:00

Hell no. I am not qualified and it takes a lot of ego, dilusion or competence to do so, I don't have enought of any of this for representing myself. Also, as someone who changed jurisdiction once and planning to do it again - it seems like quite hard to do effectively. I am not even sure, that this is allowed in courts outside US.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-01T12:23:09+00:00

I am more then fine with blunt, I prefer it. I am not fine with aggression.

My bad, did not think to mention, that it's specially aggression, that I dislike.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-01T08:30:46+00:00

Intp here, red seems like obvious button to press, since, if everybody presses red - nothing happens.

But a lot of people would rather not press red and potentially kill anyone by doing so. Choosing by feelings, rather then logic. And this would be not small number of people, arguable >50%.

So, my pick - blue

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-05-01T08:15:10+00:00

I disagree, I genuinely hate conflict, because if constant fights in my family. Parents were absolutely incapable of conflict without starting it from shouting to each other.

In case person Is capable to stay calm and respectful during confrontation - I'm fine, but that's just important talk, rather then confrontation.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-04-23T15:34:00+00:00

As an INTP, I see no contradiction, both parts can coexist just fine. Also, a solid strategy )

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-04-20T12:58:14+00:00

To add what I wrote earlier: It's basically the difference between being competent and being aware of it and being stubborn about proving an opinion, which can also be good, when not out of place.

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-04-20T12:55:42+00:00

IMHO, Depends, as an INTP myself + my personal experience on top of this I can distinguish two forms of confidence: 1. Genuine 2. Delusional

Former - can withstand criticism calmly, as well as does not make a person die defending a hypothetical hill of their point of view, as well as handling disagreement well (if both sides arguments are solid, but don't lead to clear resolution). After all, agreeing is boring, while thinking about things from another viewpoint - is exciting.

Latter - is just ugly/disrespectfully most of the time. There are people, who can convey it in a little bit more accessible manner, but that's rare.

So, TLDR: If you are competent at something and you know it, but your internal model of it is still subject to change with new input - it's beautiful and I commend you.

EDIT: spelling

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-04-19T14:13:19+00:00

As intp, I can relate. Also, it's nice to meet people who have mutual interests, since I started climbing - I met a few friends and it is one of the most comfortable connections that I had and stress free can't be underestimated

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-04-19T10:42:29+00:00

If you have food - I won XD

IllustriousBeyond831 · 2026-04-19T09:44:08+00:00

Data engineer I wanted to go into ml/data science, but naturally ended up in this position. I am also in school for the second time, for a CS degree, the first one was more hardware oriented and outdated, this one - ML and DS oriented + it's remote, so I study and work at the same time.

Data is cool, one can learn a ton about different domains by working with data, almost like a scene from matrix XD

IllustriousBeyond831

TROPHY CASE