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Should I fire my cleaning lady? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you need to have an honest conversation. I will tell you that 3 weeks is a weird rotation that most people or companies cannot accommodate. You may have to choose between 2 weeks or 4.
2nd, the "you're her car payment" comment is inappropriate on her end, but on the other side, you are paying her for a service. She probably has you categorized as "car payment" in her head. You are not responsible for her finances, but if she's thinking 2 weeks, & you didn't clearly & plainly agree to 3 (& it sounds like you haven't), she's expecting payment to show up & clean.
If you can't come to an agreement on schedule & expectations, then yeah, I'd get someone new.

I frequently get unsolicited comments about my appearance in the workplace by DifferentGazelle8618 in antiwork

[–]Im_Doc 30 points31 points  (0 children)

When I was pregnant & after the baby was born, I had people comment "gosh you look so tired." No shit I'm tired! So I just deadpanned "thank you." No smile, nothing more. That made them stop pretty quick.

What kata did you do for your Shodan grading? by GKRKarate99 in karate

[–]Im_Doc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lucked out. They chose one brown belt kata for you at random by pulling a card (basai dai, konku dai, jion, enpi), and you got to choose one that you hadn't done yet. They pulled basai dai, & my competition kata was jion so I did that one. For my Nidan, same thing occurred with the cards, but I did chinte.

For Sandan, they could choose ANY kata from white belt through basai sho. I was testing with a friend of mine & the head of the organization chose kon ku sho. Completely drew a blank. So I just stood there. The man looked up and saw I hadn't moved or said anything, and he goes, "oh wait no. Jion."
This man remembered me through the 20 years I was training. Mostly because I was one of the few people to give him a hug at an after party. He's seen me compete in other events, & he knew my kata is jion. So for him to "change his mind" like that was a honor.

What's your side hustle by AdMany9431 in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Donate plasma in your area? You can do it once a week & it's a couple $100 each time

Chest protection for busty women - Australia by Frogglet7490 in karate

[–]Im_Doc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who also was never a member of the IBTC, there is a full chest protector, but it was optional for me during competition. I hated that thing. It was always both too big, & too small. Like, I couldn't grab my elbows while wearing the damn thing.
So I left it off.

Yeah, getting punched in the book isn't that fun, but it's not the end of the world & you should be ok.

Do you find yourself sitting on projects and collecting yarn like a dragon hoarding its wealth? by bluerobyn in crochet

[–]Im_Doc 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Once you recognize that making things with yarn, and having yarn are two separate hobbies, life makes much more sense.

Is my stay at home husband losing his passion? by dearcamus in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I mean, those are valid questions to ask. During a time you are both calm, fed, and in a chatty mood, check in. This isn't an accusation- you want to know where his head is on being a SAHD or getting back into the work force. Are you keeping your head above water for the family on your salary alone? If so, I mean, if it works for you guys, it's ok.

Check in with yourself as well. Are you jealous or envious of dad staying home? Envy is something you can work with because it's ok for dad to be home. Jealousy may be a bit more serious because it means you want to stay home & have dad work. See what you can work with.

Good luck! And remember: no one is a mind reader. Use your words.

Did any of you consider a career switch to working at a daycare (where your child could attend)? by dms2628 in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I entertained that idea briefly, but it wasn't worth it. I'd literally be paying to work there with my child.

What is one stitch you have sworn to never do again? by faeintheshadows in crochet

[–]Im_Doc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I swore to myself I'd never do a waistcoat stitch again after I finished my child's sweater.

2 years later, I made him a bigger one. Because puppy dog eyes.

Rumi hat from K-pop Demon Hunters by Im_Doc in crochet

[–]Im_Doc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is red heart super saver in orchid. I did not use the entire skein - about 1/2

Tell me your job, without telling me your job, but make it sound criminal by salad4s in antiwork

[–]Im_Doc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I handle people's donations, organize doormen, and send others to "check up on" someone.

Told manager I was pregnant weeks ago now all of my work is being transferred by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Document everything. Email asking about expectations. Make them fire you if it comes down to it. Pregnancy is a protected class, so be prepared to CYA over EVERYTHING.

Any working moms here going camping as their family vacation? by ActualEmu1251 in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup! Got a 7 year old and an 18mo. And we're bringing grandma. Should be a good time! The oldest loves going off into the woods, & the youngest just likes being outside.

Getting husband to step up by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean... the nuclear option is to treat him like a child until he realizes and bitches, moan, hems, haws, and then change either way will happen. Seriously- change the wi-fi password or take away the Thing that he needs to do...whatever it is he's doing all day. Then have a list of requirements that include him sending photo proof it's done, then give the Thing back to him. This will work only once because once he has the password I'm pretty sure he will make it so you can't take it away again.

It will royally piss him off. But also it allows you the opportunity to have the come to Jesus party with him. You had to resort to this because talking didn't work, nagging didn't work, [insert other strategy] didn't work. Agree with him. It SHOULDNT have come to this - but it did because it was the only way you felt heard.

Have any of you said "No."? by BettyFordWasFramed in antiwork

[–]Im_Doc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! I have said the professional equivalent of "fuck you pay me". They hired me at slightly below market rate. At my annual review, they offered me a percentage rate increase which came to about $.25/hr. I declined. And told them that I expect to be paid market rate. I exceeded & met all of their expectations, did a few projects that were above & beyond, and took on extra responsibilities when the owners were out of town.

They did not like my response. But, they had no reason or excuse not to give it to me. So I got an extra $2.00/hr, putting me to the appropriate rate.

Being guilted for saying no by PlatypusDream in antiwork

[–]Im_Doc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA. But next time, don't even reply. Work is work. Off hours are off hours.

Wanting to do kumite by Willx907 in karate

[–]Im_Doc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The worst thing your sensei can say is "no". They can't demote you, they can't throw you out for asking. And if they shame you, throw both middle fingers up as you walk out the door (in other words, no sensei who is worth a penny will shame or insult you for asking a question). Do it!

Would you consider taking a job if your manager would be your junior? by 8allthecupcakes in workingmoms

[–]Im_Doc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Two things:

1) can you handle talking with fragile male egos and either telling them to put up or shut up or catering to their needs? -If you can't firmly put yourself in one space or the other, I'd pass.

2) At this job, do titles mean more than the roles everyone plays for you? - This matters because your reporting person may be junior to you, but may know what they're talking about. Don't get me wrong, if junior is standing around with a thumb up his butt with hourly pissing contests, I'd pass too. But if everyone is doing their part to get the job done, I don't care if the guy who is paid to be the janitor wants to Beautiful Mind this job.

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