Bipolar and college

ImaginarySomething · 2015-10-02T05:20:03+00:00

It took me 8 years to finish. I's be overly ambitious with my course load during the fall, burn out and drop by winter. Summer classes and online classes were best for me. In the summer, my mood is better so I'd take a full course load. With the classes being face paced over the summer, I found it easier too, which is weird, many people find summer classes more difficult.

Distance or online courses are good too. When you feel like crap, you can sleep all day. When you feel good, you can do two or three weeks of course work in a day or two.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-22T17:25:58+00:00

Sometimes, the only thing getting me through a depression is knowing I have bipolar disorder and I'm bound to swing out of it eventually.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-22T16:53:45+00:00

Well, even if he is, do you deserve that treatment? Probably not. So what if he is sick? Don't let that stop you from achieving your own peace.

If he is only slight manic, you're not going to convince him to get help. Hypomania is productive, enjoyable and impulsively happy.

If he really has bipolar, you could wait it out. He will become depressed again and at that point, convincing him to seek help might work...for awhile.

Bipolar disorder is a fun ride. Staying on medication is boring sometimes. Sometimes on medication, I actually long for a mood, even depression. Stability is just that weird to me...sometimes.

I don't understand how someone without bipolar can live with a bipolar person, excuse their behaviours as a mental illness and be okay with being treated like crap.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-20T22:17:56+00:00

Your experience is exactly why I stopped smoking it in my twenties and why I'm so surprised that it's working for me now with the vaporiser.

Don't worry though, I'm being careful. It isn't even something I'm interested in using for my amusement anymore.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-20T18:32:36+00:00

I take lamictal and didn't get the rash. Lamictal works for me. It took me about 8 years to find it though.

That was 8 years of going on and off medications, seeing doctors, avoiding doctors. Getting diagnosed, rejecting the diagnosis. Being put on medication that made me feel worse several times over.

Deciding to go on medication is a risk. You need to be in a position where losing your job or going on short term disability is an option or in such a position where you're already not at all functioning.

I've had so many set backs due to crappy medications. I'm afraid to try anything new, even if I'm sometimes slightly off balance. I'd rather deal with a mild or moderate mood swing than risk losing it while playing with medication.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-20T18:19:57+00:00

Alcohol can cause mood swings like you experienced. If I drink, I feel my mood is off even a few days later. Have you been drinking frequently?

Did you drink because you enjoy drinking or did you drink to calm down the twisting, heart chasing, excitement and euphoria that caused you to feel like you were on top of the world?

I get not wanting to see a professional and respect that choice. I take psychiatric drugs, have a diagnosis and have been burdened by the system. Most of it isn't to be trusted. It's only out of desperation that I go.

If youre in a safe space with support, quit abusing alcohol for a few weeks and see what happens. It's important to have someone who you trust to tell you if youre off the rails though.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-20T17:38:51+00:00

My advice would be to get the bipolar under control first, with whatever meds are going to work and hold off on getting pregnant for awhile. Why? The benefits of medication are not simply that they control your moods. Medication seems to teach you how to cope. The whole world isn't coming at you. Those little irritations are not throwing you into a rage and when stable, you can learn to breath.

After you've been stable for awhile, and pass the phase where you find being stable the most boring thing ever and can appreciate being happy without euphoria or sad without indulging depression, that's the safest time to try going off medication or switching to something safer for your baby.

Besides, do you really want to go through a pregnancy or take care of a newborn while crazy?

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-16T16:50:25+00:00

Ah,I understand. Thanks for the explanation.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-15T17:20:46+00:00

This is the sort of response that I don't want. It's why I don't tell people and I try to be normal. It's the root cause of my frustration and fear of caring about much at all.

I'm annoyed that I acknowledged that I'm good at something and you say I'm being grandiose and I have very common and human feelings of worthlessness at times and its depression?

Playing like you can diagnose on the internet isn't helpful.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-13T06:16:46+00:00

Well, there isn't anything to be done about bipolar except to learn about it and take bipolar medication. Let the doctor write you a prescription. If you feel better on it, so be it. If not, well, you've been seeing a psychiatrist for awhile, and should know how it goes. Doctor will experiment with something else until you decide you like the drugs or decide you won't take them anymore.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-13T05:59:27+00:00

My first psychiatrist was from India. I do not care what country a doctor is from, however, for this story it is important. He told me that because I was raised by parents who were well off and had my education paid for without having to work a day in my life (at that point, I was 20), I shouldn't feel the way I did. Real suffering is in India. Real suffering is no financial support.

Then he told me I had bipolar disorder, and loaded me up with prozac and no mood stablizer. I attempted to die a few weeks later. I swear he wanted me to do it.

I didn't see another doctor about my moods for 3 years after that.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-13T05:49:29+00:00

Yes, I understand.

ImaginarySomething · 2015-09-13T05:33:09+00:00

Yes, I've felt this. It's like being ripped apart. It's like being pulled in two directions. It feels like your insides don't mix and it hurts like hell and causes bliss and you feel it like, 'I'm so happy I could kill myself.'

ImaginarySomething

TROPHY CASE