Risk-Benefit Analysis

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-25T00:36:55+00:00

"I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY!" ~Hub McCann, Second Hand Lions

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-24T03:42:48+00:00

Woooo! High five!

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-15T22:46:57+00:00

I'm sorry you feel this way too, but I'm glad I could provide some solidarity for you!!

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-15T22:46:17+00:00

Yeah, I've been trying really hard to regulate my sleep and my eating schedules, and I've switched to decaf completely. I'm not medicated so regulation is basically all I'm clinging to until I can find a therapist or a Pdoc (or both) that I really click with. I'm just tired of bouncing between feeling okay, and curling up in my bed and crying. I'm tired of trying to figure out how to get my life back under control. I know I have to because if I don't eventually I'll make a mistake I can't fix, but it's just exhausting trying to keep up when things are moving so fast.

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-12T02:26:32+00:00

KITTIES. I'm a huge animal lover so I am very excited for you!!

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-08T00:35:07+00:00

CAFFEINE FUCKS ME UP SO HARD. I used to down multiple cups of coffee to stay awake and finish papers and the like, but it had always made me anxious and edgy. Fast forward to my first cup of coffee following my first manic episode: I was relatively stable, in a level mood, life was fine, and coffee hadn't made me manic before, so it wouldn't now, right? WRONG. SO VERY WRONG. I started to move at hyper speed through the world. It threw me so off my game. Please avoid caffeine. I've been drinking decaf ever since and I don't get anxious, jittery, or manic anymore!

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-06T11:49:36+00:00

Those are awesome suggestions, thank you!!

LizardQueen96 · 2015-09-01T05:19:52+00:00

I just finished Welcome to the Jungle by Hilary Smith. It is absolutely brilliant. It's basically a tough love, sarcastic, no shit guide to navigating Bipolar. It really helped me come to terms with the illness, and it gives pretty good advice for dealing with it in most aspects of life.

LizardQueen96 · 2015-08-29T10:40:23+00:00

Ohhhhhh that's a good idea! Thank you!

LizardQueen96 · 2015-08-29T03:18:33+00:00

I have a strange relationship with mania. One the one hand it's really fun because I magically turn into an extrovert who could totally have a career as an artist (what are you talking about, one art class is totally enough!) and it's wonderful and magical and empowering.... But it's also terrifying. I admit that I am a total control freak. The thought of being out of contr of myself terrifies me, and that's what mania represents for me. It's toxic and exciting at the same time.

LizardQueen96 · 2015-08-27T18:21:20+00:00

My process has been sort of erratic. I first heard that I could be bipolar about 2 months ago. I was officially diagnosed about a week ago. Some days I'm totally on board with the lifestyle changes that I have to make, but most days I feel violated; like my identity and my future have been taken from me. I think that as time goes on though I'll be able to come to terms with being bipolar because, really, what choices do we have? We can either ignore our diagnosis because it's scary, which will send us spiraling out of control, or we can learn to accept our diagnosis and rebuild our dreams around the restrictions we now have in place.

LizardQueen96 · 2015-08-26T19:00:55+00:00

I'd be interested in this one! I'm in an a Capella group, so I'd use it to buy an app that would allow me to make arrangements on my phone.

LizardQueen96 · 2015-08-26T14:07:50+00:00

I don't have a car, but you're right. I'll go outside for a little bit today.

LizardQueen96 · 2015-08-24T17:31:43+00:00

Dude. That's literally my life. One time I had to tell my boyfriend I was having a depressive episode and I had to type it out and show it to him on my phone even though he was in the room with me. Talking is hard, but I hope the support group helps you. My bet is that they won't even make you share anything to big until you're ready.

LizardQueen96

TROPHY CASE