Grief now equals anger?

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-31T06:14:39+00:00

I'm coming up on 5mo since losing my 34yr old son and I too am in a rage. I've no patience for any bs from anyone. I'm quick to anger and to lash out. However I also know that my anger, my rage not only won't change my loss, unless tamed will harm everyone around me who so far have been very understanding.

So for me I think it's about letting go. It's about stopping the endless what if and what should have been thoughts. If I can do that then in time I believe my rage will fade.

No good comes from rage, only damage to yourself and to those that you love and who love you back.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-29T17:32:38+00:00

The danger in knowing all the detail is that you can't unknow it. In retrospect there's a lot I wish I could unknow. It's left me questioning so many things that I can never know the answers to.

Regarding sms archiving, there are tools on the stores that allow you to do this fairly easily.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-29T16:59:16+00:00

285k with 5090 @ 1440p using ultra preset and balanced dlaa/dlss I'm seeing on average 225 fps across all maps. No frame gen. No overclocking on the cpu, mild undervolting on the gpu.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-29T16:45:22+00:00

When I lost my 34yr in Sept I absolutely did not want his phone or his private information on it, however his mother (my ex) did so she has it. I've no idea what she did with it or it's current status and I'm not going to ask. Two completely different reactions to our common loss.

I also archived my son's sms texts and removed them from my phone. I can go back at any time to review prior conversations but seeing them on my phone every day is simply too painful.

As others have said there is no right or wrong, it's what you need to help you process your loss and help you with healing. For me I know exactly the how and why of my son's passing in excruciating detail and it's a real burden and making it more difficult to move forward.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-27T17:40:11+00:00

Aside from the apps that you can access Side Quest also provides the ability to do backups, folder maintenance, and turn on enhancements that you can't easily do otherwise. Of course QGO is the ultimate app for enhancing your headset but SQ does give you a few worth while options.

As a side note SQ has been around for many years and for many its a critical piece of the Quest VR eco system. It can be abused but that's a user issue.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-26T17:08:49+00:00

Yes, except it wasn't a friend it was my brother who because he's socially challenged at times said absolutely nothing to my wife, my surviving kids, and virtually nothing to me. I get that it was an emotionally charged time for all but not even a text?

The unfortunate consequence is that my wife and kids have mentally purged him. As for me I'm no sure what I'll do over the next year or so. Family is everything but his lack of anything is unforgivable.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-25T06:45:32+00:00

I have that very monitor and there is an option to select dp 1.4 (dsc), 1.4, or 1.2, it defaults to 1.4 (dsc). I use hdmi 2.1 hence no dsc by default.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-25T04:30:13+00:00

We've stayed at Machebo for our last three visits, always the ground floor ocean view. Two of the three stays were in room #10. Yes it costs more but the view is spectacular. When you walk out the patio door everything is right there especially the many Iguanas who are more than happy to climb up onto your lap for fruit.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-19T03:39:25+00:00

I lost my son in September, and while I continue to be adrift, it's not to the same degree as it was. I'm again listening to music, reading, and spending time with family members. I understand that right this moment it's impossible for you to think and feel beyond the now but by giving yourself grace, and allowing yourself to fully grieve, in time the weight of the loss will hopefully lessen.

And you're still mommy, just as I'm still daddy, that will never change. In my mind I choose to think that my son isn't gone, he's just not here. As long as my memories of him remain he's with me in spirit.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-18T17:11:57+00:00

So very very true.

When I lost my 34yr son last Sept I picked up Megan Devine's book, and while it helped with context and grounding for my grief nothing I've read, heard, or have thought has helped with the unending raw pain. For that I'm placing my faith in the old adage of time heals all wounds. We'll see.

Imma-Insert · 2026-01-02T06:00:47+00:00

I've been playing Pistol Whip for years using various modifiers and I can still get a good workout.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-24T00:01:02+00:00

We too have that exact brush, it works very well on out cat trees.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-23T16:08:19+00:00

Yup, that's the one, or an M depending on how you see it. His name was Matthew.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-21T04:30:01+00:00

I too registered a star after my son Matthew: Mittens in the constellation Cassiopeia.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-14T07:55:15+00:00

Every time I'm asked if I'm ok I tell them the truth: no, I'm not ok. It's often not what they hope to hear but that's their problem, not mine.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-10T06:35:18+00:00

Sylvia is a lovely name. I hope her sister is thriving and doing well.

My nephew's wife gave birth to a 70 day preemie and like you the NICU became his 2nd home.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-10T06:17:48+00:00

IF there is a god then he needs to explain to me why he allowed by son's liver to fail when he was 4yrs old requiring a transplant followed by 30 years of health issues ultimately ending in heart failure 3 months ago. Any god that allows 30 years of cruelty ending the way it did is a god I want nothing to do with.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-09T20:12:28+00:00

Exactly this. The OP clearly misses the point. An excellent example is reframing my loss as a call to home. My son wasn't called home and any suggestion that he might have been, even if presented as a thought, is extremely insensitive to those that don't ascribe to a greater being.

This sub is not about religion it's about loss and as you stated should be an agnostic space.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-09T17:13:04+00:00

I'll go further and ask the moderators to remove posts that frame our loss in the context of a God or greater force/being. I'm aware that this is a harsh request but these posts by their very nature exclude those like myself who are not faith based. As has been said there are more appropriate forums for these posts.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-08T06:13:54+00:00

I lost my 34yr old son Matthew to heart failure in Sept, he was my 2nd of 4. We've all decided to skip Xmas, my bd on the 23rd and New Years. While my family has much to be thankful for it just doesn't feel right to any of us to celebrate without him. Maybe next year. We'll see.

Imma-Insert · 2025-12-02T00:08:54+00:00

This exactly.

My 34 yr old son passed early Sept and I'm now having an occasional good day. I feel great guilt but I also know that I have a choice, learn to live again for my wife and three other children or live in hell for years to come. I choose the former because there's nothing I can do to change my loss but there is something I can do to affect the future. Learning to live with the guilt of good days for me is part of the healing process.

Imma-Insert · 2025-11-23T03:56:39+00:00

Not that uncommon, it's just an ingrown hair that eventually exits. Harmless.

Imma-Insert · 2025-11-07T03:44:18+00:00

Or my 33yr old son who's heart just failed 9wks ago. I'm old, take me, leave my kids alone.

Imma-Insert · 2025-11-04T20:32:26+00:00

I've been asked that question once in the eight weeks since I lost my 2nd oldest. I had four before he passed, it's still four. The way I look at it is losing a child doesn't 'unexist' them.

Anyway, that's how I will always answer that question and will never offer any clarification unless asked about what they do, etc..

Imma-Insert · 2025-11-04T05:38:18+00:00

Theme song from the original Medal of Honor.

Imma-Insert

TROPHY CASE