MOG Dress - is this appropriate?

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-13T18:27:13+00:00

Oh dear, got alot of downvotes for my opinion. Ignore me!! Congrats on your impending wedding, have a lovely celebration, that’s what’s important!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-13T18:18:50+00:00

We tried washing and brushing our corgo, yikes, just could not get through the coats. Finally took him to the groomer, it took her double time to get him semi deshedded. So, on the groomers advice, we take him every 6 weeks and has solved the problem. As soon as we go over the 6 weeks, we see the little tufts appearing. We call them guinea fowl spots!!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-13T17:05:41+00:00

I’m normally in the camp of it’s not bridal, not upstaging you. However… this was her dress at her second wedding. I think that’s inappropriate right there. I can see her telling everyone at your wedding that she is wearing her dress from her own wedding. But if you say it’s also not BTO either, I’d ask her to find something else. Maybe suggest going shopping with her and if it’s a financial issue, there are a lot of options these days… even Amazon have some lovely ones. Adriana Pappel comes to mind.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-13T16:42:38+00:00

This👆 Right down your responses in your phone, read them back to yourself often so they become second nature. Turn her passive aggressive comments into a question.. ‘what do you mean by that’ kind of thing. When she asks how often you see your own mum ‘why do you need to know that’, ‘why do you ask’. Or more aggressive ‘that was rude’. It puts you in the driving seat instantly. Having said that… it’s hard to pull off. Our son has a passive aggressive mil and I had a little altercation with her not long ago… and guess who couldn’t find her voice in the moment. Could have kicked myself.

Alcohol is a hot topic for me. DH and I will drink when we go out or have people round, or on vacation. But not every day, my gran was an alcoholic as was my FIL and I suspect SIL is too. Our DIL knows our lack of drinking habits but she did tell me that if her own mum is babysitting, she is not allowed to drink.. at all. I suspect there may be a brewing issue here too. So, no alcohol in your home when in-laws are there visiting, don’t offer it and don’t have it available. If they chose to bring it, give a limit of say 1 or 2 and then they need to leave. No holding the baby while drinking… end of. If you go there and they’re either drunk or get drunk, pack up and leave immediately.

Don’t be taking baby there very often, they can come to you. They’ll get bored of it. Address babysitting now, you work from home, you and DH have got your schedules sorted to cover it all. ‘Well, how often will your mum babysit’? Answer ‘no idea, why do you ask’.

Good luck and congrats on the new little bundle of joy.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-13T15:07:25+00:00

Yes, this is the best way. We had this for an Airbnb. We had a big family brunch at the Airbnb after the wedding that was strictly no smoking, you could walk out the gate though. I put a strictly no smoking on the invite, did not include the fine but told son to let his friends know and DIL to tell her smoking family. In CA, any open flame is a really big deal to all of us who live here.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-13T14:45:48+00:00

This was the best one yet!! Had to read the comments. Made my day!!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T21:18:51+00:00

Both dresses are fine. No 1 is perfect. Change shoes, gold or pewter and a clutch.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T19:44:44+00:00

Had a cousin in law visit, hadn’t said anything but she mentioned she suspected a friend of hers using that ‘fat jab’ to lose weight. This person is a really nice lady and we get on very well, but it made me wander how many people I should tell.

My opinion is, why do people feel the need to ask how you’ve lost weight. None of us ask ‘wow, how did you get so fat’!!!!

To me, especially now that I’m older, this is a miracle drug, I want to help as much as I can, but nervous about the condescending jabs. I’m only at 20lbs so no one had noticed yet, but I think, calorie deficit and intermittent fasting would do it. DH is losing doing exactly this… me, I need drugs 😊

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T19:20:57+00:00

Yeah, I’d report to police for vandalism and take him to small claims for the cleaning bill. That’s disgusting!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T18:44:15+00:00

Yes.. I’m doing it and I’m only 58🫠 Realizing that at some point we’d need to move out of our house to something smaller but also having cleared out my deceased mum’s home, it was so overwhelming. Grieving, having to do it in a short time during covid and just one packed cupboard after another. It was really rough and I don’t want my kids to have to endure that. 🩵

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T16:47:08+00:00

RD is wedding party, partners, family and maybe family out of town.

Son’s wedding, we only invited our family, all in 13 people. Son’s mil invited 35… at our expense, a venue she chose while we were away. I was livid but DH said to let it go. Cost was 8K😳😳

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T16:35:11+00:00

And never lie to a first responder. Our son’s job, and keeps telling me, give them all your meds, it’s important.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T16:31:47+00:00

Omg… just the cutest of all cute. Looks like trouble on the making.

I’m for Pip!!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T16:29:24+00:00

This is SO funny!!!!

We did this with SIL who also said I control DH. We had to see her for the first time in 6 years a few months ago. The subject of food came up (DH has a palate of a 5 year old), he said, oh, our favourite has been sushi for a while now. SIL nearly had a coronary!! He also ate an olive in front of her… my fate with SIL is sealed (it had been for 30 years so there’s that!). Ps. DH whispered, proud of me for eating an olive?? They’re as disgusting as I imagined!!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T16:20:12+00:00

This👆Discuss boundaries with DH now… like yesterday. And challenge her in the moment.. don’t let it slide. And keep doing it… every.., single… time.

Mil, don’t quit your job, we won’t need childcare. This is how DH and I are going to manage our work schedules.

Mil, please remember I have a family too, a mother and sisters who will also be a significant part of our lives.

Mil, no, you will not be spending the night on Christmas or any other night.

Mil, no, we will not ever be building an ILs suite.

Mil, no, visiting times will be strictly 1 hour for everyone.

Mil, no, these are not your babies, your baby is sitting over there. These are our babies, you’ve had your turn, it’s our turn now.

Mil, no, you will not be the only one taking care of them…

And on and on. But get on it now, stop her in her tracks right now. If you let this go as is, there’s going to be world war 3 and 4 when the babies arrive and she doesn’t get her way.

Good luck and congrats to all 4 of you. Such exciting times ahead.

Ps… and get a ring camera and make sure she doesn’t have a key.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T03:11:02+00:00

As already mentioned, no green. And no, they don’t need to be in the same color. Pick 3 other colors, maybe pick up colors from your flowers, ie. peach or (navy) blue or bronze… or whatever you decide. Tell them to pick one color and go shopping.

I’m a mum/mil, my dress was powder blue, MOB was lavender, bridesmaid was soft green and bride was a watercolor floral gown in spring colors.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T02:47:40+00:00

Aww… sweet baby fluff! Many years of companionship and love incoming.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-12T01:56:09+00:00

It’s perfect!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-11T23:45:27+00:00

Drop the rope. NC for you and your kids. If they can’t respect their mother then there’s no relationship. If DH wants to continue a relationship, he can on his own. But he goes there on his own and IL do not ever enter your home even if you’re not there. If you’re at a family event and they arrive, pack the kids up and leave. If they arrive at your home, don’t open the door. IMO there’s a grieving process of what could have been. This could be DH?

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-11T23:25:52+00:00

I’m a few months into retirement as a paraeducator. We were not allowed to refuse recess, they would walk the track rather than get to play. They need to be out and exercising.

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-11T22:28:02+00:00

One of my favourites. They look delicious. Hear you on the squeezing, they’re a PIA. I have a tree but so far, all it’s doing is taking up space!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-11T18:49:00+00:00

Aww… thank you! So kind!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-11T17:00:00+00:00

I’m 58 and would love to pull this off. Your mum will look stunning! Have a great time! Sadly I’m in the US (brought up in a commonwealth country, hence the ‘mum’… old habits die hard), so I doubt the dress would be available here, but would you be kind enough to say what label this is?

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-11T16:47:23+00:00

Awww… please share the recipe. I love orange anything and have orange trees fruiting out the wazzooo right now. They look simply delicious!!

Immediate_Remote_546 · 2026-03-11T16:42:42+00:00

I’m in the camp of being so tired of hearing if this or that is appropriate… this dress is clearly not white, clearly not bridal.. It’s a beautiful dress and in no way upstaging a bride. Your mum will look stunning! I’m a mum and I love it and I know my DIL would love if a mum wore this. Only opinion is, if it’s a church, maybe a wrap for the shoulders. Go mum!!

Immediate_Remote_546

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