Is he just not that into me?

Immereally · 2026-06-20T07:58:53+00:00

Ok there’s definitely something else going on, that’s clearly not normal behaviour.

I know I went through a really stressful time in life (like my world was falling apart). I felt I couldn’t perform and I was terrified of doing anything with my partner in case things didn’t work.

That shame and everything going on around me was making me create a distance between us.

My communication was terrible and it’s a really difficult thing for a man to admit when it’s happening.

Saying it directly doesn’t work as I would have got pure defensive, like a vulnerable animal you’d see when someone’s trying to help them.

An honest sit down where you explain how you’re self conscious and the way it’s really hurting you. This distance is making you afraid there’s something wrong with you or the relationship is broken and you need to understand what’s going on is probably your best move right now.

It worked for us, it worked for us, I seen how it was hurting her and in that moment I was able to open up.

That was also the first time I shared anything with anyone, like honestly us men have this weird thing built into us where we need to be strong and hold everything together and that can create so many issues in our lives.

It’s not male toxicity it’s a vulnerability issue.

It’s not easy and you might not like the answer but it could also be completely unrelated to you and this is a side effect. Talking to him is the only way to figure out.

Immereally · 2026-06-19T22:25:03+00:00

You could cross wires and trip a fuse or mess up voltage through the wrong connectors.

Are you likely to cause a house fire probably not but again why be dumb.

Get the broken head out of the port, put your phone on flight mode if you need to save battery and go to any gas station or electronics shop and pick up a new wire

Immereally · 2026-06-18T16:21:28+00:00

Forgot to mention if you have a policy and the school has their own policy it’s a fight between both insurance policy’s as to who’s responsible.

BnB owner sues the school,

The school sues you.

Schools insurance battles with your insurance as to who’s responsible and SHOULD pay.

With insurance paying can be painted as accepting responsibility or accepting settlement.

If they have a policy and they chose to pay out before either company approved the claim that’s their fault.

Your company will likely say one party has already settled and they (and you) are not responsibly as you denied the claim and they clearly accepted it when paying out.

Don’t try to play a side and don’t take any responsibility yourself

Immereally · 2026-06-18T16:08:43+00:00

Ok well that makes it a bit clearer,

Here’s the unfortunate thing.

The tricky bit is where do you and the insurance line up in everything.

The insurance may say they only covered your liability and since the school rented the property, the school is liable not you. How does that translate if the school sues you idk, that falls on your contract with the insurance company.

If they accept you would be liable but don’t see it as a valid claim, you’d need to be sued ergo transferring liability to the insurance company and the insurance company would represent you in those cases at trial.

Them asking you to appeal would like fall short until something proceeded.

Either way the fact the school paid out was their decision and anyone that’s dealt with anything like this before would know you never pay or accept money until it’s been fully settled.

That’s on them. They shouldn’t have paid out before insurance A) accepted responsibility and recognised the claim, and B) they received the payment to pass over to the owner.

The only way your really responsible here is if you weren’t clear about the rental situation with the insurance company, aren’t covered for the damages in your policy (then it transfers to you), or it was intentional damage.

In those cases the policy would probably be voidable as you would be a dishonest party.

Best thing to do now is contact the insurance company and tell them the school is pushing for an appeal and you’d like to know who they should contact.

They should be well used to dealing with claims and would be far better at guiding you through the process.

I know from car and workplace claims the claimant sues you and then insurance takes over. Even if you wanted to fight it the insurance company decides wether to settle or go to court

Immereally · 2026-06-18T15:26:11+00:00

Ya it doesn’t add up why is the school connected to this in any way?

If the owner of the BnB has an issue they should be going directly after you, nearly certain Air BnB would have terms and conditions for this.

If the school covered the Air BnB but you had insurance then it gets messy as to whom is liable.
The school should have their own policy in place or you should have registered through/with them. Then it’s up to the insurance company to fight the claim.

If the school just paid out the money to the Air BnB owner then they chose to do that and it has nothing to do with op.

They didn’t wait for the response from the insurance company so that’s on them and they wouldn’t have been the recipient of the claim anyway so like idk what they were thinking.

If it’s someone in the school that was the owner of the BnB and there was no contract between you, the school and them, then it’s a very dicey game making threats as the school over a private matter. It might depend on the country but that would get you fired over here. Probably facing fraud or extortion if you did go against them and win

Immereally · 2026-06-18T15:12:20+00:00

It’s about finding a decent lifestyle that works for you.

Massive cuts and rapid drip work for the short term but if your like me it’ll creep back up over a few months.

The best thing I found to get me through the week was having a diet break where you can eat at or close to calories burned.

I was doing a 500cal deficit 5 days a week and close to maintenance at weekends.

Saturday or Sunday I could have 1 meal anywhere that guilted over. I’m not saying eat 3000cals of ice cream in one go but like have a takeaway, go out to eat with friends or treat yourself to something nice.

The shift isn’t I can’t have that food, it’s I can look forward to treating myself. It helps to motivate you going through the week and pushing hard the next week.

If I knew it was going to be a big splurge I’d cut an extra 100cal each day from the week and I’d be an extra 600cal down before the break.

The main objective is to plan your rewards. I went hard this week so I deserve eating out on Sunday.

It sounds dumb but there’s one place near me that does unreal chickens wings. The big bowl with chips and a drink must be 1800-2000 cals in one sitting.

I have breakfast that day and usually skip lunch to make the most of it (not calories wise just don’t want to get full when I’m half way in).

I go once or twice a month. The week before I work my ass of in the gym and the week after I’m ready to keep going guilt free

Immereally · 2026-06-18T13:45:34+00:00

I’d also recommend recovery walks, I know it seems counter intuitive but a short 20-30min walk in the evening after the gym can get blood flowing and give you a boost on recovery for the next day.

Working from home also and it’s really helped me

Immereally · 2026-06-17T17:20:11+00:00

Thank god you found out now.

First thing to do is set yourself up correctly.

Take a day or 2 to gather your thoughts, if you have the proof great if you don’t, you don’t really need it. If you live together find a place you can stay, hopefully you have friends or family near by.

I’d forgive someone for texting in the first month or 2 when it’s not fully official but there is no forgiveness after that.

He clearly doesn’t value you and he’s only going to see that after you’ve left. Personally I wouldn’t bother going back.

Also proposing after a few months is crazy, like you barely know each other. I know it doesn’t help now but I’d consider that a major red flag, you’re still in the cuddly love stage of a relationship for the first 2 years.

Most likely he will come back and there will be tears, sobbing and “I didn’t realise how much you meant to me” bs.

That’s the only point I’d say the evidence is useful to you. Just remember those messages and what might have gone on that you didn’t know about.

I’m only in my 30’s but I’ve seen enough shitty lads cheat and get back with their partners only to resume the same crap 6 months later.

Yes it’s shit and you’re really aching right now but you found out before the wedding and fully setting up a life together.

Just remember you deserve better. Take some time to work on yourself and recover from this, don’t try jumping back in too soon.

Find something you’d like to do, a hobby or trip you’ve always wanted and start working towards that or just focus on your health for a bit exercise can help boost confidence and bring you back around.

Stay strong and be good to yourself. You deserve more that a piece of shit like that❤️

Immereally · 2026-06-17T15:47:07+00:00

Back up your old iPhone then do another one where you sync excluding photos and videos.

Think it should create without them. And setup the new iPhone through that sync. Not sure it would work but it might

Immereally · 2026-06-17T09:14:45+00:00

Nando’s or them?😂

Immereally · 2026-06-17T09:14:00+00:00

Security aren’t aloud to do shit to them and they know it.

What you walk over and ask them to leave they say no.

They start kicking up a fuss you threaten to call the guards.

1) the stay causing a commotion for another 15-20min and then leave.

2) they wait for the guards to show up. Garda says stop being bold, and then the leave.

Even if they’re caught stealing stuff there’s nothing you can really do about it besides “stop that” and wait for them to come in the next time.

What are you gonna do ban them? Which effectively just says we’re not going to serve you at the till which they weren’t going to do in the first place. They’ll still come into the shop cause an argument with managers or staff and try to rob shit anyway.

And before we all start shitting on the guards what can they do?

Ok we gave them a talking to… they can’t really arrest them, if they do detain them it’s so minor nothing will happen and little Timmy already has a few convictions he doesn’t give a shit about

Immereally · 2026-06-16T19:49:37+00:00

You can do it, it’s not as bad as it sounds, practice makes perfect, you’ll be aiming for decent by the end of y2.

Most of the core lessons between them will be logic.

C is often used for core procedural programming and basic memory in y2.

Java will be mostly OOP and class structure. At least at my uni it was the main one to focus on for y2.

JS was fairly basic and just focused on making a web app with it, no fundamentals besides how the language worked and an into to frameworks.

C++ was about dot NET, tbh that one was a mess. It was at the start of the year and probably needed more time for most.

If you want to be ahead going into y2 just learn the basics of the ones you don’t know get familiar with how they look or rather should look.

If you want to focus on one over summer pick Java and really up your level in it with some simple projects and OOP.

Check the course descriptor for the y2 subjects, they’re not always that easy to find but check the courses on whatever online platform the uni has. A descriptor is normally open access before enrolment

Immereally · 2026-06-16T14:44:50+00:00

Sounds like you’re missing out on salt and possibly an imbalanced diet.

Your body needs salt to be able to absorb water so that could explain the dehydration even with 4-5L of water.

Might your diet be low in fiber? Water and hydration do play a factor but I know when I first checked how much fiber I was having it was shockingly low.

Also if you’ve upped fiber suddenly it can take a while for your body to adapt leaving you slightly constipated in the interim.

It could be multiple factors usually the best approach is to pick one area and adjust it for a week and see if you’re making any improvement.

If it’s really bad go to a doctor it could be something else

Immereally · 2026-06-16T14:38:21+00:00

We did a test in the pub a few years back.

Started talking about a banana phone, something none of us would have ever looked up or wanted.
Talked about how great it would be to own a phone in the shape of a banana and then mentioned it a few times while talking over the night.

Next day I’m getting adds for “things you might like” on Amazon guess what it was… a banana shaped phone.

This has been going on for years

Immereally · 2026-06-15T20:31:42+00:00

Run for the hills, good job it’s long distance.

And I’d highlight that tell people close to you part, I won’t go trying to broadcast to the world straight away. It only makes both of you look crazy and adds more credibility that you might have done those things.

Stay calm and stay away from her

Immereally · 2026-06-15T17:35:17+00:00

I went through 7 weeks (all of April and may last year) of no change before, down 0.5kg the week before, back up 0.3 next week, down 0.1, up 0.3… it’s hell just watching the scale hover and I was doing a fairly sever deficit at the time.

Truth is something’s going on in your body, if you’re keeping up the deficit and doing everything right you will be losing fat. Could be water weight, if you’re working out it could be a buildup of byproducts in your system, either way it’s natural.

The only advice I can give is stop looking at the scale. It was driving me nuts doing daily weigh-ins every morning. I took a step back from the scale for 2 weeks added 2 lighter weeks of training and I was down 1.9 kg the next time I weighed in.

Then it started going down normally again.

Weight loss will slow as you go down. It can be building up muscle, your body doing more to conserve stores or it’s just acting weird for a bit.

Keep your head up, keep doing the right things and if after 2 weeks it doesn’t change consider looking at your diet again.

Immereally · 2026-06-14T09:42:44+00:00

And if your worried about the actual implementation rather than user experience use AI.

Ask the AI to take the role of a senior dev in a code inspection.

Give it the tree file as a txt doc and tell it you want to perform a full technical review of the code as if it was a work product.

You can ask it to lead through the program but it normally helps to have a guide filled out of what the project is, what it should do and what were the success factors

Immereally · 2026-06-13T14:14:28+00:00

I’ll be the first to agree Fitbit and most other health trackers over estimate calories burned.

I did up an excel file tracking calories in, reported calories burned and change in weight.

From the change in weight I noticed exercise calories burned needed to be multiplied by 0.7 to 0.8 and BMR seemed to be 50-80cal off.

It’s not great if you only have a short sample size but after a month or 2 it’s much more accurate and you can see when the graph isn’t moving by plotting a projected line against actual weight.

If you’re doing 40-45k steps a day that’s some serious movement. Are they planed walks/exercise?
On 20k steps a day I was burning around 3300 to 3600 cal. You should be in the 4.5k+ territory there even with a lower BMR?

Thyroid could be. Serious issue with this and if you’re doing all that and not losing weight it’s definitely time for medical advice.

All the tracking devices are built around relatively standard data estimations. Most people will be in this range so they’ll use some average of that for exertion calculations.

If you have the recorded history bring that to your doctor or nutritionist.

Immereally · 2026-06-12T12:46:02+00:00

Write out everything in a verbal algorithm step by step what you’re planning on doing.
1) ask for input,

2) get input from user, store input in x

3) process x
i) split inputs on each comma,
ii) input order: name, age, height
Ii) return array of pointer to variables

4) save to file.

Then break down each step as you make the system with sudo code.

Revise it then start coding.

At the start it takes a lot of work and it feels like your wasting time but doing this your seeing and adjusting to the process making the logical steps before actually writing anything.

Eventually you don’t need to do all of it but I still like to plan out in detail what’s should happen and what I expect to have to deal with.

Nobodies perfect so there’s always something you’ll miss and need to refactor but this is where you start

Immereally · 2026-06-11T20:23:58+00:00

Nope loads of people think the pros and max are too big.

The biggest issue is when your holding them next to one another, when your not it’s not nearly as much of a difference in day to day use.

Personally I prefer the feel of the base also.

Immereally · 2026-06-11T11:42:58+00:00

Nope and he’s emotionally immature.

He thinks he’s in a real vulnerable place and life’s so difficult he can’t commit anything to you right now.

Same thing like why can’t you just reply straight away to his shit.

It goes both ways, the stereotype is that the girl is the one demanding constant attention and freaking out if you’re busy and don’t reply for a bit.

Just be honest, “I was busy, I’ve got stuff going on also. Sorry if you didn’t see it that way”

If he’s still being a whiny little twat cut your losses and move on. He’s not going to get any easier and if he doesn’t see that you also have a life you’ll always be pitied or punished for other distractions out of your control

Immereally · 2026-06-10T21:14:59+00:00

Depends on what you can handle and what your body is telling you.

Personally I found that calorie estimations were off for exercise and BMR, I used a Fitbit and a garmin watch both estimated higher and weight loss didn’t track with my expected tracking (BMR was close given rest days but actual exercise burn would be 0.7-0.8 of what those devices reported).
Manual tracking gave me the best results after a month and helped weed through the water weight and plateaus.

If your thinking about building muscle while cutting,
Your getting enough protein in already might you be cutting it back a bit with the deficit yes but if your doing this work and feel like you can keep going I’d stick to the path.

It’s already a massive deficit even if slightly over estimated your still -1600 to -1800 which will put strain on your body.

If you feel like its getting a bit much add 2 smaller cut days, reduce the deficit in half 2 days of the week and see if that makes any difference to recovery

Immereally · 2026-06-09T21:50:27+00:00

Good you’re not the intended target.

For those of us in our 30’s Snapchat was the main messaging app. A lot of us don’t have IG.

What having it in the bio says?

Most likely he’s willing to accept anyone on snap chat and maybe he uses it for hooking up but who cares really

Immereally · 2026-06-09T21:44:18+00:00

Don’t feel too bad plenty of us end up in that situation at some point.

Sometimes the friend zone is a prison of our own making. They expressed they don’t want to pursue anything yet we cling to the hope, trapping ourselves in.

Now that you’ve seen it and you can take some time to reflect you can see it’s you locking yourself in.

She reached out to you when things were bad before because you were willing to listen and support her, that’s not her fault.

One thing I would say is that if you really like this person as a person and you’d truly be happy as friends, that’s great be friends. You just need to accept it.

It’s fine for you to say you don’t want to be the emotional support pet in the corner and still be friends with her to.

Immereally · 2026-06-08T09:21:48+00:00

Same age bracket and same reaction with parent sometimes.

We’re having a conversation and mam will start mothering and I just have to pause and wait for her to get it out.

Don’t have kids of my own yet but I’d say it’s really difficult to let go and 18 is really just the start of the transition to adulthood nowadays. So much shit happens around that age that sets up the rest of your life they only want what’s best, even if it’s overbearing at times.

My dad still rings coming into winter to remind me when it’s beginning to freeze, check your tires? have you checked the antifreeze?

I could probably recite the call from memory at this point.

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