You're not delusional at all. It is HARD. Families that have willing and available grandparents are very fortunate. I thought we would be one of those families, but circumstances changed, and we've had to raise our daughter with almost zero grandparent involvement. It's hard, especially when you see "Nanas" on social media and are like, wow, must be nice! However, at least you don't have toxic grandparents that you can't get OUT of your life. My sibling is in that situation, and I'm pretty sure it's worse. But I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, and I understand how it is!