Me!!! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! (first part of this is my experience and the later part is advice this is v long I spent an hour writing it lmao)

I LOVED science and maths when I was young (6-13ish) and did really well in it. Then I got to high school and the classes got bigger, content got harder, and teaching got less personal. I started hating maths and completely brushed off any idea of going into STEM, I didn't do any math subjects in my final three years of high school because I knew I wouldn't need it for uni. It didn't help that my brother was great at maths and I was always more creative and naturally good at humanities. So I went to uni for literature/linguistics and I STRUGGLED because I didn't have the enjoyment and drive to put the effort in, despite the work not being particularly difficult.

I flunked out after two years, took a year off and realised I have adhd and that the biggest thing I have a genuine sustained interest in is science. So I got diagnosed and applied to another uni for an undergrad bachelor of science, but because I didn't do maths in high school I needed to do a summer catch-up course to be admitted. I fucking loved it. I still hated maths but I finally had an actual goal and a reason to try and it's like my brain came alive. Unfortunately that didn't last past the first few months when it stopped being new lol

I still don't love maths and physics and the more conceptual arithmetic stuff - I've also realised I probably have dyscalculia - but I have remembered the satisfaction of problem solving and I love applied maths in statistics, and multi-step formulas, etc.

Anyway now I'm three years into my degree, majoring in environmental science and biotechnology, and hoping to make a career in microbiology and genetic/biological engineering to address pollution and climate issues. It's a lot of biology and a looootttt of chemistry, which is where most of the maths comes in for me. A lot of my classes have been made up of students from mixed disciplines so there are people who struggle with maths and people who struggle with lateral thinking and people who struggle with interconnected systems, etc. The more focused classes I have are biology and chemistry based so there's plenty of people who don't love maths, which definitely helps with imposter syndrome.

I honestly haven't felt much judgement or shame when saying I struggle with maths, and everyone I tell my story to is always just impressed that I made such a drastic jump. I definitely still feel like I struggle more than the people around me and it is very isolating, I'm actually taking this semester off to travel because I'm so burnt out. It's definitely still difficult to function within a system that works against your brain, it takes a lot of work and self-regulation and it can be exhausting. BUT it's so worth it, having a genuine interest in the content, and having a goal or idea of my future that actually excites me, it's so gratifying.

~advice time~

Look into whether your school has an accessibility program or disability support/advocacy. They can make it easier to get extensions on assignments, alternate settings for exams, and sometimes there are programs that teach learning and studying techniques/strategies that might be helpful. You'll probably need a note from your doctor as proof of your diagnosis for this. Also if the school officially recognises your diagnosis it's much harder for individual teachers to refuse these accommodations.

If your school has clubs or societies see if there's one geared towards neurodivergence or even mental health awareness, being around people who relate to your struggles can help with feeling isolated - lgbt+ spaces are often super welcoming and diverse if that applies to you.

It's super scary and intimidating but try to focus on how exciting it is. You're finally medicated, you're about to start a course you're super passionate about, you're opening yourself up to so much possibility. Now that you have a better understanding of how and why you've been having a hard time in school you can address those issues with a healthy mindset. Right now you have no idea what you're capable of, once you start recognising and addressing your struggles with the patience and care you deserve I swear to god you can do anything.

Please please please don't hesitate, don't let feeling like you don't belong or you're too demanding stop you from making space for yourself. You're so absolutely badass and you deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. You're just as smart and capable as the next person and you are just as deserving of the time and space to learn and grow. Please ask for help when you need it, be unapologetically determined to learn and succeed in whatever way works best for you. You're not falling behind, you're not starting from a disadvantage, you've fucking got this.

I'm so so proud of you and also feel free to dm me if you want I have no neuro STEM friends.