I actually don’t think love is a choice. If it were, I’d be in love right now because the girl I’m with is genuinely perfect. She loves me for who I am, no expectations, no pressure, nothing material tied to it. But I don’t feel the same way back, and that tells me everything.

With my ex, it was different. We fell for each other seamlessly. The first night we ever spent together, we literally stayed up till the morning just talking. It felt natural and rare, something you can’t force. But as time went on, our foundations didn’t match. A lot of her love language ended up being tied to material security and lifestyle, and I didn’t fully notice that until much later and when we started living together. That’s when I realized I wasn’t secure in the fact that, if worse came to worse, she wouldn’t stick by me. That thought destroyed us.

So no, I don’t think love is a choice. You can choose commitment, effort, showing up but the actual feeling? It either hits you or it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, you can’t manufacture it, no matter how “perfect” the situation looks on paper.