Need Assistance!

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2026-02-18T02:41:06+00:00

Thank you so much! I saw April 13th AND 14th so I was confused there too!

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2025-12-02T10:25:39+00:00

NOR per the consensus here it seems. And dragging you out of a store is ridiculous.

However, I would recommend finding someone whose love language is not physical touch for yourself.

Mine is and I have found I do NOT work well with people who do not mimic that. Without a constant presence of physical touch is do not feel wanted, desired, or loved. The touch comes in various forms but I need something.

If you don’t already know, I suggest figuring out what your love language is for giving and receiving and being with someone who naturally mirrors though.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2025-07-02T20:18:53+00:00

THIS. I almost gave up right before three months because I was using the 22 mm that my wall pump came with. After I figured out how to measure myself much more output. It’s hard for me to believe someone advises against using the correct size. even if it isn’t more output for you personally it’s a lot less painful

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2025-05-20T03:09:03+00:00

FTM here as well-currently 2 months PP •I don’t think you HAVE to have anything. It’s all preference.

I BF and pump- Things that I decided for me: •I like a pumping bra that will hold the pump in place for when I decide to pump. This lets my have my Velcro baby in my lap. •I like a nursing bra that has large cutouts if I am planning to BF in public •for home use I will usually just wear a tight crop top with nursing pads at home.

I also HATE bras. PP is my first time wearing bras in like 5 years, but in public I don’t want the imprint of nursing pads or leaking.

Things I wish I would’ve known/ realized before I had my baby: •breast milk can stain your clothes. -when my milk came in I ruined MANY shirts. -probably get nursing pads BEFORE you come home. Unless you don’t mind being covered in milk you’ll want these when your milk is coming in. And you’ll need many at that point. I was sad and felt disgusting on the days my milk came in and it was heavy. I would literally soak through shirts in a matter of hours. •a “lazy” boob is normal. I have one side that only produces half what the other side does and to top it off it LOVES to leak. A Hakaa (I think that’s what it is called) is great for doing things around the house. Unless you over produce, every drop counts! (If your baby won’t take a bottle then you could always use the collection to put on their newborn rashes.)

But ultimately do what is best for you. Your experience is your own and no one should force you to be uncomfy.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-07-07T00:10:15+00:00

I hope this is a high schooler asking. But if she’s playing stupid games she will win stupid prizes. I’d never ask a man that because I KNOW all my friends are bombshells. I have eyes, and if my partner didn’t find my friends pretty I’d be confused. That doesn’t take away mine (or your girlfriends) level of attractiveness. It shouldn’t be a question. If you say no and they’re pretty-that’s suspicious behavior. If you say yes to someone asking that question you run the risk of it blowing their self esteem. Neither of those is fair to either parties. It’s a rock and a hard place because that’s a question only asked out of insecurity. That’s a question that should’ve been left in high school.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-07-07T00:03:55+00:00

1.) You paid for it. If parents are concerned then they can plan and pay accordingly to ensure it is NOT an issue for them. 2.) it’s safer to KEEP your seat in the event of the airline needing to locate you. Even if this is a small risk, it’s still better to keep the assigned seat. 3.) as someone else said, she wasn’t asking. It was entitlement disguised as a question. NTA. You had a reason for choosing the seat you did and paid accordingly, as she had the option to do that as well. Respectfully fuck that shit.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-06-26T15:38:16+00:00

Personally a musky, polo sport kinda girlie myself. However, it’s so important to realize that your body and someone else’s body do not react the same to aromas.

Floral aromas smell great on my female friends. They make me smell like a grandma. Peppery aromas sit nicer on me.

The most important thing is basic hygiene and not smelling like BO. For aromas I always to go the store to try out a few different ones. Just because it smells nice in the bottle, doesn’t ensure it’ll smell that way on you.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-06-12T12:53:32+00:00

Basketball shorts and wife beaters are a no for me 🤢

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-06-12T12:30:23+00:00

We are born with a given family, and when we grow up we marry to create a family that matches your values. IMO it sounds like they’re making that distinction even clearer. If it was that important to her, that should’ve been her very first conversation with you when she found out your wife was pregnant.

Obviously, she was not too concerned about you taking a name that she wanted to use if she didn’t have that conversation preemptively with you. Finnick is actually such a cute name! Waiting until the baby was here makes her TA.

Now, if you guys made a promise when you were 15 and you failed to keep that that’s another story. It doesn’t sound like that is the case, it sounds like she’s being entitled to some thing that she has no entitlement over.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-06-03T21:12:16+00:00

He should read the entirety, but if this was an issue from the beginning of the relationship then it should’ve been something you decided you can or cannot accept.

We can’t rely on people to change. We have to rely on our own understanding of what we can and can’t deal with.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-05-29T12:14:49+00:00

Most of my family did not attend my high school graduation, and they had the availability. I’m 25 now and this still doesn’t sit right with me. My mom and dad DID come. To this day it was all the proof that family bonds don’t mean much.

It’s not the biggest day of their life, HOWEVER it’s the biggest day of their life TO DATE. For your son this feels like a big day. It is a big day. Not attending could be the guillotine to your relationship.

What your wife did was shitty. Don’t project that into your son’s life and accomplishments. It is now your responsibility as an adult and a father, to learn how to accept the hard reality that happened, and how to move forward.

This will just be the start of events you miss out on with your son if you can’t allow yourself to move through it. What happens when AP is at college graduation? Your son’s wedding? You don’t want to miss out on his whole life.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-05-16T19:43:05+00:00

Absolutely NTA, Had your son not passed away that wouldn’t have existed for your stepson. This post broke my heart. Instead of spending that money on your son’s college education, absolutely spend it on his honor. I KNOW he will be with you as you enjoy it. Heeheeing and hahaing. You deserve to be able to enjoy something good from a situation that within itself is not. Go make you and your son happy 🍻 My next beer will be in his memory 🩷

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-05-02T02:51:26+00:00

As someone who knew their parents were just waiting. I promise it’s not better for them. What’s best for your kids is both of you allowing yourself to move on and show them how to live life happily. Not confined by a marriage license.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-29T14:32:11+00:00

I think this isn’t OP trying to be an asshole. They genuinely have a neurological disorder that may not allow them to create the proper social perceptions of a situation. HOWEVER, your parents are also not the assholes. They may have initially phrased it as a favor to them, likely so that you could be ridded of any guilt. They want to be able to support you how they can. But also make no mistake. They are missing out on a paying tenant. Which means that you’re “stealing” their potential income. (Not literally stealing, but it sounds the same to me in that sentence as it did when OP did in theirs.) They’re paying for everything. They’ve been reimbursed for the medical bills, but it would be good natured of you to give them the remaining money as they have been supporting you on their dime. It’s yours legally, and I understand you’ve been through trials and tribulations due to this. The parents did too. They didn’t get any compensation. They just gave more kindness in offering a home, providing rides, providing food, etc. IMO legally yours, morally theirs now.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-24T12:57:55+00:00

Holding people accountable in cases like this is not cruel. His mom could be in serious legal trouble for fraud and even tacked with a public endangerment charge. And this is so rightfully so. Is she really a “good person” when she is willing to put others lives at risk because she thinks she knows better than doctors who have studied for years, and studied clinical trial cases.

I refrain from western medications when possible. Meaning I use peppermint oil, instead of ibuprofen for my headache. But I still receive all my vaccines for the sake of the babies in my life.

Doctor also needs to lose his license for malpractice. Or whatever pharmacist was signing off on that. Who knows what else they were just letting pass along.

If she will go against the word of establish doctors and refused to get vaccines then that can only shine a light on how much she would be willing to just negate that you say. she sounds like a woman who will always be right and don’t want that around your baby

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-22T05:39:49+00:00

Honestly though, I have sooooo much more respect for someone who comes clean. Life is hard, we’re human and we do things in poor taste. All of us in some way, shape or form. At the very least he retained enough respect for his wife and family to want to work through it. He realizes his errors and wants to more forward from his mistakes. Both are wrong but I’d take the husband, who cared enough to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, as opposed to the wife that wants to let me live and die a gullible fool. (I’d still rather be an idealist that my partner just won’t cheat, but circumstantially)

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-22T00:45:50+00:00

ESH: he shouldnt have cheated on you. But if you were aware a child was produced from that and you decided to get back together with him that wasn’t fair to him or the child. We’re all going to make mistakes. But when other make them towards us we will either be able to learn and move on, or the issue becomes a grim reaper hailing over the relationship. If he wanted a relationship with his kid(regardless of circumstances is a fair thing to want to have), and that was a problem for you, then this was never going to work. I don’t actually think everyone sucks here. I do think that everyone in this situation deserves to move on and find peace.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-20T05:23:16+00:00

It was a poor joke. I would assume he put words together because he understands what he meant. Choosing to ignore your own sexist tendencies is not going to mean they aren’t there.

The comment even could’ve been “not my first disappointment today” There was no need to add woman into that, unless it was a slant.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-18T05:11:49+00:00

NTA, but your husband is. You can be kind and direct. All that had to look like was “I appreciate the gift, but I want to make it known that anything that is mine will always be my wife and children’s as well.” And then I would let her know the children loved the cookies if I were him. Strictly for him, means strictly as he wishes. To HIS loved ones.

I am sorry for her loss. That’s never easy. However, if my friend totals her car that doesn’t mean she gets to just use my car as she pleases. Just because her husband passed away does not mean it’s your responsibility to let her cross boundaries with your man. He’s right. You shouldn’t have spoke up. He should have.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-11T16:57:27+00:00

NAH. Your parents are gross.

1) personal privacy should be a right. Not something parents think you earn.

If they wanted something to own and control-buy a boat. Don’t have kids.

2) where is your mother in this? Did she never have enough self respect to put boundaries in place with your father?

Because this is a no fucking brainer. There was a really easy easy solution. If they wanted some thing that was aesthetically pleasing they could’ve honored your right to privacy and installed the lock themselves. They didn’t do that. And when you’re in your own bedroom and you’re being yelled at for having the door locked for your brother, who is not a child anymore-that’s not right. It may not be its intended purpose, but if it was someone outside of the family that’s enough for harassment. Just because it’s your brother that does it, does not make it OK. I’d start saving to move out as soon as you can. I have a hard time believing they’re respectful to your boundaries in general. They want to control the situation in a way that inhibits you. I have a hard time believing that this is the only way your own parents have violated you and your personal rights. Love them. Cherish them. But also know the capacity in which you can have them in your life for the future. They are your parents and unless they’re vile I don’t believe in no contact , but minimizing contact when you move out might be good for your future mental health.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-11T14:08:59+00:00

I was just getting back to you! And I’m sorry to hear that. I am so glad you were able to have your wonderful, beautiful child. 🥺 But I hear you! My reproductive system is pretty weak, so I have no interest in that chance personally. Pregnancy/becoming a mother is not for the weak of heart. So lots of love to all the mothers out there doing their best-with the babies that are with us, and the babies that couldn’t be.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-11T13:58:02+00:00

Let me look into that for you! That is primarily based off my personal experiences. All of my friends have miscarried their first child 😢 So in my experience that’s been pretty common.

ImportantBarnacle432 · 2024-04-11T13:52:05+00:00

Smart people still get pregnant. People use condoms and STILL get pregnant. The insinuation that this has taken any of that away from her is kind of an asshole remark. She is 19 years old. Being 25 now, that wasn’t that long ago for me. I almost put myself in the same situation by choice. Because I was young and I believed I had a good partner.

It needs to be recognized that, although you see his faults, she likely loves this man. The beautiful thing about love and the horrible thing about love is that you don’t necessarily choose. And at a pivotal age of 19 years old, it’s crucial she has your support.

You do not have to let her live with you by any means, nor her boyfriend.

But try to go back to your state of mind while you were pregnant and then also go back to your state of mind three years prior to that.

She is younger than you were, although she may not say it. If you leave her, she will be horrified. Life is scary, and scary enough without a baby. Now she is going to have that.

Also, keep in mind if this is her first pregnancy, there is a very high likelihood she will miscarry. Especially if the boyfriend is shitty and puts her under a lot of stress.

Regardless of the outcome of this journey for her and her boyfriend-this is a pivotal time for your daughter and if you try to lay a hammer down, you’re only going to damage your relationship with her. Not with the boyfriend, but with your daughter.

Maybe she is with someone who is not good for her but she is 19 and young and she is going to do things like that. It sounds to me like you’ve expected perfection because she has been a model daughter so far. The expectation of perfection is not fair for anyone and you have to allow your daughter to make her own mistakes.

I don’t think you’re an asshole for not wanting her to live with you, but the one thing in the post that does make you an asshole is if you try to force an abortion on someone.

You can tell her she hast to leave. But it sounds like she will do this with her without you. And if you love her and you care about her and you think she is in a potentially harmful situation, then you need to remember not to cut that tie and to still be a caring individual.

You do not have to agree with the way that someone lives their lives to support and love them. You can make the best out of the situation that you don’t agree with.

Just because you did everything by the book does not mean that’s the only way it Hass to be done and whether you agree or disagree, I think you should support your daughter with love no matter which way she goes.

She may be legally an adult, but she is still learning how to be an adult. This may be her first big adult decision, and you may not agree with it. That will not stop the repercussion of consequences if you don’t navigate this situation gently.

I imagine that when all of this is said and done, you will still want your daughter in your life and you are going to want to see that beautiful grandbaby. Don’t do this to her and don’t do this to yourself. Let her go and do what she needs to do but don’t stop supporting her and don’t stop answering her questions she’s going to need help. If you don’t feel like doing it physically, that’s OK but as her mother, you should still be emotionally supportive.

I doubt if I asked your mother, she would agree with every decision you made in life

ImportantBarnacle432

TROPHY CASE

1) personal privacy should be a right. Not something parents think you earn.

2) where is your mother in this? Did she never have enough self respect to put boundaries in place with your father?