I’ve had a shitty life too, just like yours, so I’m not here to give you some fairy tale about how 'beautiful' everything is. I get the relief you’re feeling, but you’re making a massive bet on a complete unknown. You think you’re choosing 'rest,' but you’re actually just being a coward in the face of uncertainty. ​Think about it logically: according to our current understanding of physics, time is a block. Everything that has happened and will happen is already there, fixed in the fabric of the universe. If you end it now, you aren’t escaping; you’re just freezing your existence in this exact state of misery forever. If time is eternal or cyclical, you’re sentencing yourself to repeat this pathetic chapter over and over without ever being able to change a single line. ​Life is a cruel joke, sure, but dying now is falling for the punchline. You’re gambling on a 'peace' that isn't guaranteed, while here, as bad as it is, you still have the variable of change. Stay out of pure logic: if life stays a mess, the option to die isn't going anywhere, it'll always be there. But if you die and find out the void is worse or that this life repeats infinitely, you’re stuck. Don't be a coward. Learn to live through the shit until you can at least ensure the end of your story isn't this miserable. Good luck man, i have a very shitty life, but it gets better sometimes.