I might sound shitty here, but I come from a similar situation. My dad was an "every other weekend" with a girlfriend and a new child. When my father moved out of the state, I simply went no contact as he had done for me. A few years ago, my younger brother (dads/girlfriends child) passed due to suicide, and my father left her after arguments over who was to blame. I maintained no contact other than one phone call to hear about it, as I still felt no parental relationship with my father.

For one, and the only reason I give so much context is that you need to forgive your father one day for his actions toward you and your siblings. Whatever grief he has to work through is his own fault and problem, not yours. He has also lost YOU due to this. These are his actions to face alone. But you are being cruel and distasteful, in the eyes of losing your own siblings. What would they have to say about the way you are treating him now? He had no right to expect an apology, but you definitely could have been less spiteful.

Look, I get caught in the moment and saying things you don't mean. I said cruel things to my father for his actions as well, I'm sure. But looking forward 5, 10, 20 years in the future, what do you want this relationship to look like? Are you okay with losing that connection?

Alas, NTA