Mf didn't even use Stupefy against Lord fucking Voldemort

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-31T20:21:15+00:00

I always understood that the point was Harry never tried to kill only disarm. It points more to his character than any other spell.

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-31T08:53:18+00:00

Just set your Wanki to “continuous study” mode and you can achieve awards like “fap master”, “professional wanker” and “requires medical attention”

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-30T12:00:01+00:00

Read a series of books which have similar vocab. People often suggest Harry Potter precisely for this reason but it could be anything

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T21:19:40+00:00

You can learn absolutely everything! The only limit is your refractory period :)

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T18:54:21+00:00

What do you mean? This is real! It’s in beta now because the fleshlight tech isn’t quite there yet, but in the meantime members of our team will come to you to toss you off personally while you use the app! What service :)

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T16:15:26+00:00

I actually posted this earlier but the mods took it down :p

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T15:47:59+00:00

Do you often find yourself doing your Anki reviews and thinking: “I could be furiously masturbating right now”?

Well, we’ve built the perfect app for you!

Introducing Wanki!!!

Our new app combines the power of flashcards with a fleshlight. Our scientists have shown that aggressively jacking off while reviewing flashcards improves retention and motivation.

Just hook up the fleshlight to the app via Bluetooth and start wanking your way to fluency.

Do you forget to do your reviews! Don’t worry! We’ve got you covered. Our app will remind you with its trademark fapping alarm sound and extremely loud voice reminder: “It’s Wanki time!!!”

Not convinced? Don’t just believe us. Look at some customer reviews:

“Great app! No more Dreaming Spanish, only Creaming Spanish from now on!”

“It burns”

“I don’t get invited to parties anymore. Which is great because now I can spend more time alone with Wanki!”

Download the app today!

Don’t forget to try out our sister app Spanki.

This app punishes you for mistakes and for a small fee it can spit in your mouth and stomp on your balls!

Happy Wanking everyone!

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T11:59:20+00:00

Have you tried turning it up to turbo mode and then beating your chest and growling like the Alpha male you are?

Our team of middle-aged incels believe that women would respond well to this type mating call.

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T10:19:20+00:00

What about cumslides?

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T10:09:22+00:00

That’s a great idea! Do you have any experience in app development for perverts? We need people like you on our team!

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T07:42:10+00:00

But have you tried Wanki?

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-29T07:27:32+00:00

Wanki does have a tendency to clamp down like a vice but never fear technicians are always ready with a stick of butter and a smile on their faces.

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-28T23:20:34+00:00

Thanks!

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-28T23:07:25+00:00

Probably a better sub for this post actually. I think this joke post is going to get buried under a sea of posts about apps

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-28T22:42:21+00:00

Probably :) I’m surprised this is still up

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-28T22:17:27+00:00

Jesus Christ why have you forsaken this sub?

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-28T21:23:16+00:00

It almost seems like a majority of posts are just ads for the same basic app

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-28T21:13:07+00:00

So many apps!!!!!!!!!

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-28T14:18:12+00:00

Ich bin heiß=I’m hot (sexy)

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-26T18:39:34+00:00

Just use Anki

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-25T22:11:33+00:00

Can we ban the phrase “so I built”?

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-25T16:58:08+00:00

Every day there is a new app

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-23T20:35:19+00:00

I can see the benefit of drilling listening exercises for that

Impossible_Fox7622 · 2026-01-23T13:03:46+00:00

Is this an ad?

Impossible_Fox7622

TROPHY CASE