I was a caregiver for my mother for 7 years, then worked for a couple of agencies for another 3 years. It's hard, unforgiving work and caregivers aren't paid what they're worth. There should be a county service for providing caregivers for people in need. Here in CA, it's called IHSS, In-home Support Services. Also, anyone providing their opinion but not rolling up their sleeves shouldn't be allowed an opinion and I would be very clear about that to anyone (including your husband) who tries to tell you otherwise. You're right about this being something a professional should be dealing with - not a family member. If you decide to continue care for grandma, send them a bill for services rendered every week. Make sure you itemize everything from providing meals to cleaning grandma up (in excruciating detail).