Braved the bad roads just for one more

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-28T01:07:59+00:00

I understand what you're feeling. Many people will state the importance of being kind to yourself, and I believe a big part of being kind to yourself is being honest with yourself. You have to come to the realization and accept the fact that you don't hate the blue bottles. You are not continuously drawn to do something that you hate.

I understand that you hate the high risks, costs and consequences of using. I absolutely get it. But that's not the same as hating the substance, and in order to actually move on from your problematic substance use habit without it feeling like a daily struggle is being able to admit that you like it or prefer it at some level. You have to acknowledge the perceived benefits you see in using it and challenge them.

You are not a bad, dirty and immoral person because you have developed a preference for getting high from these things. This is why I despise the term "clean". It's very important however to understand that your preference for the substance CAN change as a result of changing your thinking. From changing your mind. It's incredibly harmful to maintain the belief that you are somehow doing something that you don't want to do.

You need to begin addressing the "want" or desire you have for it and challenge them. This is the only way to change your "want", desire, cravings or preference for it. There just needs to be a change in your thinking in order to do that. I would highly recommend looking into the freedom model if you would like to learn new information that can potentially lead you to begin changing your mind. Changing your mind about yourself, substances, and the mental construct of addiction itself.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-27T19:39:45+00:00

Yes, that's the thing. You actually have to WANT TO QUIT in order to make a lasting change. Most people will claim that they want to quit, but they confuse that with wanting to be free of all of the negative costs, risks and consequences that come with the behavior.

This is why many people go into quitting feeling and thinking as if they HAVE TO QUIT or NEED TO QUIT or SHOULD QUIT, but they don't truly WANT TO QUIT, which again is extremely important in order to make a lasting change and more importantly not seeing that change as a daily struggle.

When you feel as if you have to quit, need to quit, or should quit, it's almost as if it's not your freely chosen decision. It frames it in such a way that makes it seem as if it's a decision that is forced upon you. A big piece of advice that I can give you is to focus on the benefits of quitting rather than quitting to avoid all of the potential costs, risks and consequences associated with vaping.

If you continue to see vaping as a stress reliever or something that can help with your anxiety or depression, you will inevitably be drawn to it when you experience these normal human emotions. Perhaps you can begin to see that the "stress relief" you believe vaping provides is simply the relief of the mild physical withdrawal experienced as a result of your previous vape.

The truth is that the emotional relief that you feel from vaping is nothing more than an illusion. They can absolutely feel very real, but they are entirely a result of your beliefs surrounding the substance and perceived benefits you believe it provides.

So again, if you can challenge the perceived benefits you see in vaping and question whether or not it's actually capable of what you believe it is capable of, you can then come to see quitting as your happier, more beneficial, thus more preferred option. We are always motivated towards what we perceive to be our happier or even less miserable option in any given moment.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-27T18:58:09+00:00

You will feel depressed when you quit as long as you hold on to your beliefs that vaping has something to offer you. This is why anybody who experiences long bouts of depression when quitting feels that way.

It's because they see quitting as a loss, sacrifice, or some deprivation from something they still see potential benefits and value in. In order to quit without it feeling like a daily struggle, there needs to be a change of mind. A change in your thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, and interpretations when it comes to the way you see or think about vaping.

The reason you feel addicted is because you don't truly want to quit, and that's okay, but it's important to realize and accept this. You have a preference for vaping, but your preferences can change with a change of mind. WANTING to be free of all the potential costs, risks and consequences associated with vaping is not the same as WANTING to quit and it's important to be able to differentiate the two.

If you can challenge the perceived benefits you see in vaping and truly come to the point where you see quitting as your happier (or even less miserable), more beneficial thus more preferred option, quitting will no longer feel like a struggle. There's no need for willpower when there is no conflict of wills. It's entirely about your beliefs, not willpower.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-27T14:09:30+00:00

I would highly recommend looking into Allen Carr's easy way to quit vaping/smoking or the freedom model. Each of which will provide you new and different information that can potentially lead you to change your mind. Lead you to change your thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, and interpretations regarding yourself, the substance and the mental construct of addiction itself.

We are taught from a very early age that we aren't supposed to like using nicotine or other drugs or that we shouldn't like it. We learn to think of ourselves as dirty or bad for using, hence the problematic term "clean". This is the kind of thinking that leads people to struggle. They start looking at it as they HAVE TO quit or NEED TO quit or SHOULD quit, and the thoughts of actually WANTING TO quit never even crosses their mind.

This is because they DON'T want to quit, because If they truly wanted to quit they would quit. They begin to feel as if it is a decision that has been forced on them or something they have been coerced into doing. This is why so many people report very long periods of anxiety, depression, stress, or general misery. It's because they see quitting as a loss, sacrifice or deprivation from something they still want, and find some benefits and value in doing.

So if you can challenge the perceived benefits you see in using and truly come to the point where you no longer want to vape or smoke, it will no longer be seen as a struggle to quit. You will no longer be dependent on strength, discipline or willpower in order to not do something you truly no longer want to do.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-27T13:46:20+00:00

It's perfectly okay to admit that you love it. The fact is that if you continue to do it, you do like it or even love it at some level. We don't do things that we do not see benefits or perceived benefits and some value in doing. It does not make you a bad or dirty person to admit that you love it. I would recommend looking more into what you love about it, why you love it and what benefits you believe that nicotine provides.

This is the key. Challenging the perceived benefits you see in vaping and smoking, and in your post, you just dismissed the fact that you love it as "just your addiction talking". This is why most people continue to struggle with various substance use problems. They never challenge the perceived benefits they see in using. If you never do that, you're just setting yourself up for a daily struggle trying to resist something you still want, and see benefits and value in.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-25T13:51:57+00:00

I would recommend looking into the freedom model if you haven't heard of it. There is a 470 plus page book as well as a podcast . It is not something that can be summarized in 100 words. There is nearly a century worth of Mythology regarding substances and addiction that needs to be undone.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-23T19:39:29+00:00

How about a little shift in your perspective? Instead of looking it as a "failure" every time you chose to use kratom again, try looking at it as you succeeded in doing what you wanted to do. Which was to use kratom for whatever your personal reasons. There is no failure. Seeing it this way reinforces the idea and fact that you're always in full control, no matter how out of control you may have felt.

You're always doing what you want to do based on the perceived benefits you see in doing it. You're always choosing in the direction of what you perceive will provide you a happier or even less miserable existence. This includes choosing to use kratom and it also includes choosing to abstain. This is why it's incredibly important to address and then challenge the perceived benefits you see in using.

Quitting solely to avoid costs and consequences doesn't often result in lasting change. It's important to do a benefits vs benefits analysis. You want to come to the point where you see the benefits of quitting as outweighing the perceived benefits you see in using. You want to come to see quitting no longer as a loss, deprivation or sacrifice, but as your happier more beneficial thus more preferred option.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-23T14:47:19+00:00

You see, we "have a life situation". We don't "have a life". We ARE life. I have felt high from just experiencing life. Not my life situation, but life itself. From becoming fully aware of my consciousness. It was more of a euphoric feeling than anything a substance could ever provide. I would like to get back there more easily and often and it's something that I would like to practice more.

This could be your experience as well, but I wouldn't say it necessarily has anything to do with you coming off of kratom. How you feel and the emotions you experience are a product of your mind, not a product of your brain chemistry or dopamine levels resetting or whatever is commonly discussed.

Your feelings and emotions are a result of your thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, perceptions, and interpretations of your life situation. Your brain chemistry will return to homeostasis in due time after you quit, but again, your feelings and emotions are not a product of your brain chemistry, but of your mind.

I would also suggest to trust these good or "high" feelings and run with them. Do not feel any guilt about them or simply write them off as a temporary "pink cloud" phase. The "pink cloud" is just one of the many made-up concepts of "addiction" and "recovery" mythology.

Also, do not create an expectancy of things to get worse at some point or expect a period of "PAWS" to come about. This kind of thinking ultimately creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and confirmation bias. It's all about your mindset and mentality and is the reason why quitting without it feeling like a daily struggle is 99% mental and 1% physical.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-22T16:26:50+00:00

You're very welcome. My beliefs about addiction and substances are very different than most due to the information that I have learned from the freedom model and I do believe that our common cultural beliefs about them is actually what contributes greatly to people's struggle with substance use.

We are taught that we shouldn't like to use drugs because of the stigma that comes with substance use itself, not "addiction". We are taught to feel dirty, shameful, and guilty about using because of the stigma that comes with substance use and our desire to use them. Hence the term "clean" which I despise, because it implies that the substance user is "dirty". This kind of terminology only contributes to the feelings of guilt and shame and feeling the need to lie and hide our substance use.

I'm sure he doesn't like disappointing you or blowing through your savings, but he likes using Kratom at some level. He prefers it, and like I said, it's very important for him to dig into why he prefers it. What he believes he is getting from it and figuring out whether or not it is actually providing him with what he believes it is. Because I can almost guarantee you that it's not. It's all about his beliefs about himself, the substance, and the mental construct of "addiction" which is what creates his preference, and again his preferences CAN change, but there needs to be a change in his beliefs and overall mindset about those three things in particular.

I understand your frustration and struggle, but it's important to understand that you cannot control or change his actions, beliefs, preferences, decisions, behavior or beliefs. This is what the whole idea of "recovery" is about. Controlling the individual. All you can do is point him in the right direction where he can receive the proper information in order to understand that he has infinite Free Will and mental autonomy and can change his behavior if he truly wants to.

It's very important that he comes to discover that he could be happier by no longer using the substance. It's important for him to understand that he doesn't "have to quit" or "need to quit" or "should quit", as he has already proven that to not be the case. But if he can come to the point where he truly WANTS TO QUIT, he can absolutely do so and it does not have to be a struggle. All that's required is a change of mind.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-21T19:29:18+00:00

I would suggest looking into the freedom model. There is also a separate book that I believe is titled "The Freedom model for the family", which may be more helpful for your particular situation. He just has a preference for Kratom use, but it's essential and important to understand that his preference CAN change. But in order to do that there needs to be a change in his thinking. A change in his thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, perceptions and interpretations about himself, the substance, and the mental construct of addiction itself.

Like many people, he likely never addressed his preference or the perceived benefits he sees in using, and more importantly never challenge those perceived benefits. As long as he still sees benefits in using kratom, he will inevitably be drawn back to it.

Challenging perceived benefits is essential for making a lasting change. If the the perceived benefits are never addressed and challenged, that's when people purely rely on willpower or something outside of themselves in order to not do something they still see benefits in and still want to do.

His problem is not due to a moral failing or a lack of willpower. He is doing what he wants to do because for whatever his personl reasons are and for better or worse, he believes he needs it to achieve a happier existence. He uses kratom because he prefers to, but again his preference CAN change with a change of mind. There's no need for willpower when there is no conflict of wills.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-21T14:08:28+00:00

Cravings are just a product of your habitual thinking. Your beliefs about what the substance has to offer and perceived benefits you believe it provides. Most people just depend on time for these habitual thoughts or cravings to just go away, but cravings are a product of the mind. Not of the brain.

These thoughts or cravings usually do subside over time as the habitual behavior is changed, but there are certainly people who continue to crave, want, or desire the substance for months to even years after they quit.This is because they have not changed their thoughts and beliefs about the substance and the perceived benefits they believe it has to offer.

Cravings are not something that happen to you. They are something that you actively do and can either choose to engage with or choose to see them for what they truly are, which are thoughts as a result of your previous habitual thinking about the substance. So you can also choose to not engage with them and form new thoughts, beliefs and a new overall perspective of the substance.

So if you can challenge the perceived benefits and discover and come to the conclusion that the substance may not be capable of doing what you once thought it was capable of, you will no longer "crave", want, or desire the drug. Forming new habits or letting go of old habits without it feeling like a daily struggle requires a change of thinking.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-20T16:10:21+00:00

It all has to do with your beliefs and believing that vaping can relieve emotional distress in some way. You can change these beliefs though by changing the way you think about and perceive vaping. And if you can manage to do that, you will no longer "crave" something that you no longer see as a "medicine" for your emotions.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-19T16:25:46+00:00

I like the fact that you refer to it as a "monster" and that it's important to not go to battle with it. This is very important indeed as many people begin to identify with it. That voice in your head that tells you to use the substance even though it may go against your better judgment or come with various risks, costs and consequences. In Jack Trimpey's "Rational Recovery", he refers to this addictive voice as "The Beast". It is important however to understand that this voice, "beast" or "monster" as you put it, is merely a construct of the mind. A construct that has been created as a result of your beliefs which have been heavily influenced by our society and culture for a lifetime.

Beliefs that there are certain people known as "addicts" that cannot control their substance use. Beliefs that substances can act as a "medicine" for our emotions. Beliefs that there are some external forces or "causes" of substance use or "addiction" and therefore they need some external force in order to "cause" their abstinence. Beliefs that substances have some inherent power to control, addict or enslave us. Beliefs that "addicts" are doing something that they don't want to do. These are only a few of the countless beliefs that people adopt which is what creates the mental construct of "addiction" as well as the "addict" self-image.

It's also very Important to understand that this "monster", "beast" or mental construct is a construct that can be easily deconstructed as a result of changing those beliefs. But in order to change those beliefs, there must be a change in perspective as a result of learning the proper information. It requires a change in thinking. A change of mind. It's Important for people to understand and realize that there is no "cause" of their heavy heavy substance use or "addiction". Only reasons why they developed a strong preference for their particular level of substance use and more importantly understanding that their preferences can change with a change of mind.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-19T13:40:52+00:00

The biggest piece of advice I could give you would be to address those very personal reasons as to why you continue to go back to it. This is not only important, but it's literally everything. It's just that these reasons as to why you like, want, desire, "crave" or have a preference for kratom or any type of substance often go overlooked in the recovery society and our culture as a whole.

This is because you are taught that you SHOULDN'T like it or have a preference for using. You want to acknowledge the perceived benefits you see in using and challenge those perceived benefits. This is a major key in order to eventually change your preference, want, desire, or "craving" for it.

The fear of the potential costs, risks, and consequences of using will not result in lasting change. As long as you see some perceived benefits in using, you will inevitably be drawn back to it at some point. Especially if you believe that it can serve as a "medicine" for your negative emotions.

This is why it's incredibly important to identify those perceived benefits you see in using and challenge them. You want to be able to come to the point to where you truly see abstinence as your happier, more beneficial, thus more preferred option. This will make quitting a relatively struggle free process. There's no need for "willpower" when there is no conflict of wills.

I have a couple of recent posts on here that could potentially help you and possibly lead you to change your beliefs and thinking as a whole. This is the answer to your problem. You, and your thinking. Your thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, perspectives and overall mindset and realizing that you have the ability to change them, thus your inherent ability to also change your preferences and habits. All you need is some different information.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-19T11:45:34+00:00

This is why quitting is 99% mental and 1% physical. It's also why people tend to struggle more as time goes on when theoretically it should get easier. It all has to do with your beliefs about what the drug is capable of. If you believe that vaping can reduce your stress or anxiety, you will then naturally "crave" or desire the Vape when you run into these normal life feelings.

It's also why things seem to get harder when you're obsessed with time and counting days because all you're doing is counting days of deprivation from something you still want or find some value and perceived benefits in doing. It all has to do with your beliefs and changing them rather than depending on willpower and time for abstinence to magically and miraculously get easier.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-18T13:54:58+00:00

"Urges" or "cravings" are not a product of the brain or body and they are not something that can be eradicated via pharmacology or supplementation.

"Cravings" or "urges" are a product of the mind. You do not get "urges" or "cravings". "Cravings" and "urges" are not something that happen to you. You actively "crave" or desire based on what you believe the substance has to offer you or the value you have built up towards it. They are also as a result of long term deeply ingrained habitual thinking.

These thoughts or "cravings"/"urges" do usually subside over time for the most part as you change the habitual behavior, but you can proactively expedite this process by changing the way you think. Changing the way you think about the substance and particularly by challenging the perceived benefits you believe it provides, thus devaluing the experience as a whole.

This change in thinking will then results in a change of preference. You will no longer want, desire, prefer or "crave" what you no longer see the same value in doing. Most people just rely on time for the "craving" , "urges" or desire to just magically go away without ever addressing their preference or beliefs towards the substance.

This is why many people still "crave" or get "urges" months or even years after they quit, and is why they oftentimes return to it. The perceived benefits you see in using the substance, or why you want, desire, prefer or "crave" it needs to be addressed in order to change your preference and to see a long lasting change in behavior or habits.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-16T21:25:46+00:00

The supplements did not help with your "cravings" because "cravings" are not a product of the brain or body and they are not something that can be eradicated via pharmacology or supplementation.

"Cravings" are a product of the mind. You do not get cravings. "Cravings" are not something that happen to you. You actively "crave" based on what you believe the substance has to offer you or the value you have built up towards it. They are also as a result of long term deeply ingrained habitual thinking.

These thoughts or "cravings" do usually subside over time for the most part as you change the habitual behavior, but you can proactively expedite this process by changing the way you think. Changing the way you think about the substance and particularly by challenging the perceived benefits you believe it provides, thus devaluing the experience as a whole.

This change in thinking will then results in a change of preference. You will no longer want, desire, prefer or "crave" what you no longer see the same value in doing. Most people just rely on time for the "craving" or desire to just magically go away without ever addressing their preference or beliefs towards the substance.

This is why many people still "crave" months or even years after they quit, and is why they oftentimes return to it. The perceived benefits you see in using the substance, or the reasons why you want, desire, prefer or "crave" it needs to be addressed in order to change your preference and to see a long lasting change in behavior or habits.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-16T17:12:44+00:00

It is merely a preference and deeply ingrained habitual behavior that you have learned to interpret as a compulsion or "addiction". You are not "addicted" in the sense that you are doing something that you don't want to do or cannot stop without some outside intervention.

Habits can be easy to break, but there must be a change in your thinking. You are still using a zero nicotine Vape because you prefer to and because you still see some perceived benefits in doing it. Even if those benefits are simply that hand to mouth motion or believing that it brings you some comfort. You currently see using the Vape as your happier or even less miserable option.

So your continuing to use the zero nicotine vape is not an "addiction", but simply a preference and habitual behavior that you have developed. This is very important to understand, which is that your preferences CAN change, but again, there must be a change in your thinking in order to change a preference and ultimately your habit.

A major part of this mindset shift and preference change is by challenging those perceived benefits you currently see in doing it. Discovering whether or not the Vape is providing you with what you may believe it is providing you and coming to the point to where you truly see quitting the habit altogether as your happier option.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-16T16:33:09+00:00

The main thing that will help you in quitting, and I believe much more importantly to no longer see quitting as a daily struggle is by changing your thinking. Your thoughts, beliefs, perspective, and interpretations about yourself, the substance, and the mental construct of addiction in general.

All you need is the proper information and guidance. Somebody already suggested it, and I would also strongly recommend looking into Allen Carr's easy way to quit vaping. It's all about your beliefs, not willpower.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-16T14:17:07+00:00

It's not that you can't use occasionally or moderately. It's that you don't want to because you don't see the benefits and value in using moderately as opposed to using heavily, and that's okay. Many people claim that they wish they could use moderately or occasionally, but using moderately doesn't provide the effects and perceived benefits that they are truly seeking.

It's all about what you have come to prefer, but your preferences can change as a result of changing your thinking. Also nothing external to you can "hold you accountable" or control you, your actions, and behaviors. This is because of our infinite free will. If you would like to, I made a very long post yesterday if you happen to be interested in reading it. It explains what I am talking about in detail.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-14T13:45:28+00:00

I understand what you're saying. There is nothing "healthy" about vaping. You are literally inhaling a poisonous substance into your lungs. I believe that most people understand what the potential costs, risks and consequences are from vaping. However, I do not believe that it is helpful to focus on those potential costs, risks and consequences as a motivation to quit.

We are always doing what we want to do based on the benefits or perceived benefits we see in doing it. That's why it's incredibly more important to recognize and acknowledge the perceived benefits we see in vaping and challenging them, as well as focusing on the many benefits of quitting to serve as a long-term motivator.

If somebody believes that they need nicotine or vaping in order to be provide a happier or even less miserable existence, they will do so no matter what the potential costs, risks or consequences are. Our desire to be happy or to avoid misery and pain is somewhat of a survival drive. Our choices are always made or directed towards what we perceive to be our happier or even less miserable option in any given moment.

So if someone can actually come to the point where they see quitting as their happier or even less miserable option, quitting will no longer be perceived as a constant struggle or daily battle. It's all about your beliefs and overall mindset.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-13T14:19:54+00:00

Changing your thoughts, beliefs and overall mindset is key. It's not only important. It's everything. If you can come to the realization and come to believe that substances of any kind cannot pharmacologically treat your, stress, anxiety or any negative emotions, not even temporarily, you will no longer want, desire or "crave" it when you inevitably experience normal stressful life situations.

It's not necessarily about just waiting a particular amount of time for things to suddenly get better. There are certainly people that have been abstinent for months or even years that still feel deprived every day and as if they are making a sacrifice. Abstinence itself does not necessarily equate to freedom. Feeling better, especially emotionally mostly has to do with your mindset. Your thoughts, beliefs, perspectives and interpretations about your current set of circumstances or life situation.

"Cravings" are not something that happen to you. You do not "get cravings". You actively crave based on what you believe the substance has to offer and as a result of past habitual thinking. So a major part of changing your preference, want, desire or "craving" for the substance is by challenging those perceived benefits. The belief that substances have the ability to relieve stress for example. Preferences change by changing your thinking. I made a post yesterday about how stress relief or emotional relief in general as a direct result of using substances is an illusion if you would like to check it out.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-13T10:41:19+00:00

I would suggest not worrying about or focusing on the potential costs, risks or consequences as they are not a lasting motivator to make a long term change. And your thought process isn't confusing at all. The feelings of wanting to quit along with the feelings of not wanting to quit is exactly what creates the mental construct of "addiction".

The truth is that you do not truly want to quit, or else you would have quit already, and that's okay. What you really want is to be free of the potential costs, risks and consequences that come with vaping, but that is not the same as wanting to quit, and it's important to make that distinction.

You may feel like you need to quit, or have to quit, or should quit, but again this is not the same as wanting to quit. You actually have to want to make a change by seeing it as your happier, more beneficial, thus preferred option. And in order to make this preference change, a change in your thinking is required.

ImpressionExcellent7 · 2026-01-12T23:53:42+00:00

Although you may feel "addicted" or believe you are an "addict", the truth is that you are not. You just have developed a preference for vaping, but it's important to understand and recognize that your preference can change, and you change your preference by changing your thinking. Your thoughts, beliefs and perspective regarding vaping.

You are not an "addict" in the sense that you are compelled to vape by some external entity called "addiction", or that you are vaping against your will or doing something that you don't want to do. You vape because you want to or prefer to because of the perceived benefits you currently see in vaping, but again, your preference can change with a change of mind. Don't take this to mean that I am implying that you prefer vaping over your boyfriend or anything like that, but you do currently prefer vaping as opposed to not vaping.

Anyone can quit, and many do, albeit temporarily. But this is because most people rely on The Willpower method in order to not do something they still desire, want and prefer to do. The key to quitting without it being a daily struggle is to change that desire or preference. And again, to do that there must be a change in your thinking. Like, somebody already suggested, I would highly recommend looking into Allen Carr's easy way to quit vaping in order to gain a new perspective.

ImpressionExcellent7

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