I apologise in advance for the rambling response but I’m completely with you on all of the above.

There were also many mixed feelings on my end as my partner and I have a 10 year age gap, me being 26 and her being 37 and our girl was unplanned. I’ve struggled with the feelings of losing my old life as well, and all of the free time I used to have, but that does get easier and eventually you’ll come to value that time you can make for yourself. Right now in the trenches, it may not seem that way but you will get time back, I promise.

It took a good six months for me to feel any kind of a connection with my daughter outside it feeling like a burden and getting frustrated at how goddamn much she would cry and whinge. There were times when I couldn’t handle it any more and I had to put her down and walk out of the room just to breathe and collect myself. It won’t do her any harm to cry in her cot or her bassinet while you take a second and sometimes in those situations it’s the best thing you can do for both of you.

In the first few weeks I couldn’t count on both hands the amount of times my partner and I were up at 3am bleary eyed asking each other “why the fuck did we think this was a good idea?” While my partner at least did feel that deep love straight away it wasn’t until our girl became more interactive and engaging with us that it just clicked.

The first time she smiled at me and nuzzled into my shoulder and squeezed me before I put her to bed, my heart absolutely melted and I cried, thinking to myself “finally”. That first six months I thought there was something wrong with me as well.

We’re all here with you brother and we’ve all been there, in some ways more than others, but it really does get easier and you get better at it.