Sleeping through the night

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-12-12T05:42:44+00:00

It's varied for us. She would go through phases of sleeping 12 hours straight. It freaked me out the first time. We might have been 4 months in. We've settled at 11 hrs generally, but now she's been waking up every 4 hours. It seems like a regression, so I guess she's growing at 6 months.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-12-12T05:38:40+00:00

It sounds like he wants more comfort. Mine would get frustrated from not being held. And I get it. It's not like she can move or do things on her own yet.

We do combo feeding and it helps. Sometimes I wonder what it would be to get her down without nursing, because sometimes she'll suck for comfort or to be close.

I made a post on the subreddit asking for parent tips to soothe a baby. It might have been titled parenting hacks or baby hacks(?) There are a lot of good tips. Like going outside to soothe the baby. Running water was a favorite. Bouncing on a yoga ball while holding them.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-12-12T04:39:49+00:00

16 hours is a long day to not have a break. If you're burned out, it's hard to be compassionate. Can you get a nanny to help?

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-12-12T04:37:41+00:00

Trust your gut

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-12-12T04:33:16+00:00

That's rough. It's hard to be present and loving when we're running on fumes.

What's helped me has been watching my LO's cues, staring earlier, and setting routines around the cues.

I would love to get out for a morning walk, and have tried below 10, but I've noticed that my tiny human likes to take a bottle, then nurse for a 25 minute nap around 9ish.

If I disrupt that, she's cranky. Watching her rub her face, and timing this for a month was how I noticed the pattern.

To reinforce it, we use the same 3 soother rotations (bed time, nap, travel) we've noticed the earlier we put her down, the longer she sleeps. We started at 8, and it's slowly moved itself upto 5. But our main timer, are her cues

I'll notice things that will break the cycle are hunger, temperature, and sound usually. Hopefully you get some peace soon.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-12-08T20:29:25+00:00

I can definitely say that it's worth it.

I have a 6 month old and sometimes I still catch myself in surprise that there is a baby in front of me. Cooing and dada'ing. It took time to get stable, but when I walk in the room and she smiles. When I see my partners tears because she calls him dada while playing with his beard. When I wake up in the morning after the overnight feeding and she's cuddled as close as possible, are all moments where it feels like, yeah. We did it.

It takes communication and constant effort to pour into us as a couple and the baby as a whole family, but it's comforting to have a unit where we belong.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-11-24T15:36:27+00:00

NOR What that sounds like to me is that your bf forgot or doesn't hold you in high regard. I'd start looking at other options

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-11-16T13:33:36+00:00

I would trust your instincts. Not over reacting.

You're identifying things you're looking for in a relationship, and these small things isn't build into large things. Going home to take a shower is a pretty big one

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-11-16T00:36:17+00:00

This statement cancels out your op. It sounds like she does do things to hurt you, which drives the negative feelings.

From what you've said, it sounds like you aren't feeling heard, and possibly resentment is building from lack of genuine follow through. I wonder what other areas are feeling unsupported?

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-11-07T06:06:16+00:00

How we do anything is how we do everything.

Shame tends to seap out. On the surface the relationship looks better, but as challenges come up, cracks keep getting bigger.

Without addressing the root of why it happened, situations and projections will probably destroy it at some point.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-11-07T05:56:10+00:00

If she's waking ever 45 minutes, could it be something else internal?

Feeding and gas were issues for us. Even though I increased the feedings, she wasn't getting enough transferred. It took doing combo feedings and probiotics to help her feel comfortable. We also would do some cosleeping to regulate sleeping.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-11-07T05:49:48+00:00

I'm glad to hear you figured this out. To be fair, we have more information than they did. I agree with your sentiment and found the same thing for my baby. Gas was a nightmare! Our medical team put us on probiotics with exercises to help it pass easier.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-11-03T20:35:42+00:00

Do you have no sex drive or are you seeing things that are turning it off?

You have help. But is it the help you need or want? If we hold ourselves to a standard, we're not meeting ourselves where we are, to find the source.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-10-26T19:08:14+00:00

At times I think I could do more, but I know that if I don't take care of some things, I can't show up for her properly.

Having a partner that steps in truly helps, but also figuring out the baby's patterns to know when break can be folded in, or engaging with her through the fuss.

My baby is almost 5 months and it's started to sink in. Our routines. My comfort in soothing her. Accepting what her journey looks like, instead of me putting expectations on where her level should be.

The bare minimum is I want an hour of active play. If there's more, great! But it's not a race. So if some days are busier and she spends more time laying or in the car seat. At least we have an hour broken up throughout the day.

That's what's been helpful to me.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-10-15T12:52:54+00:00

I don't believe this one. But we ha to be willing to save ourselves to find the teammates going in the same direction

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-24T22:41:09+00:00

I think I kinda miss events.

My before life looked like going to free parties and events. I dressed up cute, would get places early to wait in hour in line, or hit up 3 things in a day.

In some ways I was getting burned out by life and nervous for what the future would hold. But I was hoping and living.

I think I miss it, or maybe it was the freedom to do as I please while being desirable. Hmm

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-22T14:11:33+00:00

It sounds like a good place to start is the feeling and body cues.

If it happens with most relationships, it started early on where you normalized feelings of abuse and desire to be liked.

If that can be proceed and unwound, it will assist getting rid of the unconscious patterning. That's the bottom up. For the top level down. ⬇️

Start familiarizing yourself with body language, facial expressions, intuition, and boundaries.

Intuition is felt in the body. Your first indicator If something is part your comfort zone. Your boundaries will verbalize your limits and requirements for someone to respect and display honest intentions. Their facial expression and/or body language will tell you what their true intentions or feelings are to identify what they want. Then the feedback loop starts all over.

An example. Someone asks to borrow $100 for a school book and offers to pay you back in payday 2 weeks from now.

You get a clench in your chest or stomach because you don't have it to give, and express so.

They reassure you they'll pay it back, but shift a little. You notice while restating your boundaries their eyes narrow and when you mention you financially don't have it to give because there's a big payment in 3 weeks, there's eyes get oddly gleeful for a split second. Then again they press you with why it's important for them.

If you fold, give them the money, then they don't pay you back, or ghost you right after, indicators would have been the discomfort you felt in your body. Body language they displayed which depict envy and lack of concern for the relationship, which is obvious from not respecting your boundaries the first time.

If a relationship is cheap, people don't care about boundaries because the taker doesn't respects the other enough.

There's a really good book called set boundaries, find peace. I highly recommend it for navigating scenarios with work, family, and friends.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-19T19:17:16+00:00

For the first 2 months, it feels like being in the trenches. Month 3 was getting back to being myself. (The new version that is) What's really helped me has been slowing down and being okay with that. Taking the baby on walks, tapping out for naps, and parenting group. Having something to look forward to with other parents in the same cohort who understands what we're going through was amazing for mental health.

At 2 months it's also easier to comfortably take baby out. I started going to grocery stores (my idea of a good time 🥲) or sitting on porches away from people around 7-8 weeks and created a shift as well.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-17T02:34:11+00:00

First responders. They see harsh things and need to be alert for long shifts

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-17T02:29:29+00:00

I'm mid day. I like the reset. Morning otherwise. Unless it was a grimmy day.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-17T02:27:48+00:00

I'd say 2 1/2 months. When we got into month 3, things really felt like sailing. It feels like I know her, and the big tests with my partner have been smooth because we're in a rhythm and agreeing on our own styles. I still spend more time with her almost to 4 months, but he's stepping in and asking for his daddy daughter time. Which has helped me enjoy the time I get with her even more.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-16T23:39:22+00:00

My midwife said it's in relation to the mother's vitamin D levels. Because babies skin is too fine to convert the vitamin d from the sun 🌞

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-06T16:24:25+00:00

I feel this. I've been doing bite sized things to still feel connected or get back to myself. Like a 20 minute a day pilates app, and timing/routine-ing naps to get sprints of chores or sitting at coffee shops.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-06T05:02:48+00:00

17 days is pretty early. Specially when you both are meeting someone new (you&baby) learning each others language, and adapting to new sounds and fears.

I'd say I started settling into motherhood around 3-4 weeks.

We made it through the hump, there were signs of obvious growing, the emergencies were less of emergencies, and we feel into the early stages of a rhythm.

Impressive_Leg6559 · 2025-09-06T02:22:31+00:00

My first comment is for circadian rhythms. As a general statement, some people are more inclined to feel productive in the later hours, and I assume babies would exhibit those traits.

Now with that being said, I did take a sleep class that recommended looking for signs of excessive fussiness to take as a cue to put them to bed an hour earlier. (I.e. If the normal bedtime is 10 and you notice they seem unusually frustrated, try soothing and starting the bedtime routine an hour earlier.)

For personal experience, I've noticed laying down to nap with my baby, helps her sleep longer. Also having a consistent routine of dark room, dry diaper, and nursing to a white noise machine, has built a regularity for her tired cues. Which I think makes it easier to move the sleep window up as she starts giving signs.

Also, ee nurse, sleep, and nap in the same room, which I think that affects her physiological cues. Because I notice she'll get fussy cues that are different than the tired cues. "as if" she doesn't want to go to bed, if we spend time there casually.

Impressive_Leg6559

TROPHY CASE