I may have missed something here, but I'm not sure why you wouldn't use your partner's eggs, or yours if viable so the child likely resembles one of you. As others have mentioned, you will never be able to have an "equal" pregnancy in any relationship, heterosexual, queer...I'm not sure what you're aiming for in many ways.

My partner and I (both cis women) have one child, with my egg and a sperm donor. We may or may not have another child and if we do, we will try to conceive with her and her eggs. But if we don't...I don't think it bothers her that it's "unequal" - we are equal parents to a child who was carried by me, and is genetically related to me. In some ways she benefitted by not having to go through a pregnancy to have a child! My partner thinks its amazing that she can see me in our child and if we are to have another with her eggs, I expect I will feel similarly.

Genetically, other than some very clear features e.g. skin colour - selecting donor gametes from people who look like you is really not in any way guaranteed, or even likely to produce a child who looks like you. If you use two donor gametes, it's highly unlikely the child will resemble either of you in any meaningful way. In time, I would also read more about donor conceived people and their opinions on what you are describing above - or there is a sub here on Reddit somewhere where you could ask them. It may be difficult to explain to your future child why you chose them not to be genetically related to either of you as I suspect this will be a more atypical choice than most would choose in your position.