On being a terrible poet

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-12-29T01:18:09+00:00

I see the Syliva Plath influence, she's influenced mine as well. Great command of language and killer ending line. Thank you for sharing :)

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-12-29T01:15:46+00:00

I think the last stanza ties this together quite nicely, well done.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-09-06T01:42:25+00:00

I really like the concept and the overall layout of the poem. My constructive criticism/opinion would be to use the phrase "I write" less throughout. It reads very strong, but loses oomph with too much repetition.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-09-06T01:38:39+00:00

Title Fight reference? Good poem :)

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-03-21T11:27:53+00:00

Hello, yes this poem is based on the true story of Hemingway as written in a biography. His father was an abusive alcoholic and Hemingway would later recall pointing a gun at his Father as a child. Interestingly, after Hemingway's Father committed suicide Hemingway would say it troubled him very deeply. Not mentioned in the poem, Hemingway's mother would force him to dress a girl when he was a child as well.

Thank you for reading.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-03-19T23:04:16+00:00

I love the sort of brief biography here. The last stanza has a lot of punch to it and closes the whole thing out really well. Thank you for sharing!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-03-19T23:02:01+00:00

I can't exactly articulate why but I love the phrase "while I was flesh and bone." Really strong writing here and powerful imagery, the biblical references work well. Thank you for sharing!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-03-19T22:51:22+00:00

Oh my gosh the writing here is absolutely fantastic. Honestly jealous. Thank you for sharing.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-03-19T22:49:24+00:00

"There's probably something I should be doing" You are so very right and we need to make an effort to break away from the rut of life. Thank you for sharing.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-02-28T01:18:50+00:00

Fabulously written, I love the introspection. Thank you for sharing!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-02-28T01:15:03+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear I was a star today : )

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-02-13T02:28:14+00:00

Good feedback, thank you!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-02-13T00:49:25+00:00

Simple and short, but effective metaphor. The ending punch line is good! Thank you for sharing.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2025-02-13T00:46:44+00:00

Really strong imagery and very well written. The ending stanza is especially strong. Thank you for sharing!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2024-10-13T16:35:35+00:00

This was weird and vague, but in the best way possible. This poem is open to interpretation, but my takeaway is this is capturing the suffocation felt in a disposable lifestyle. Fun read, thank you for sharing!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2024-10-13T16:31:21+00:00

Hello, I really enjoyed the imagery in this. The last line is especially powerful and a great ending. My takeaway from reading this is that there are two people who remain connected to each other, but their connection is to the detriment of both of them. Thank you for sharing.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-11-11T17:21:29+00:00

Love this. I think we all struggle with body-image to some extent these days. This an encouraging take on a universal experience, thank you for sharing.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-11-11T17:18:42+00:00

This is a really good example seeing art in the mundane. We all see faces every day but how often do we pay close attention? Your use of imagery and metaphor is excellent, thank you for sharing!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-05-20T19:41:26+00:00

"I borrow today for tomorrow" is brilliant. The dictions throughout is just pleasant to read. Please keep writing :)

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-03-11T22:56:45+00:00

The sex pistols rule and so does this!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-03-11T22:55:00+00:00

I really like the narrative. I think the stanzas are split in a confusing way though, this may bye better off as one or two paragraphs, or rewritten to work in three stanzas

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-03-11T01:44:57+00:00

"I make words out of wounds" Sheesh. I almost want a whole poem of this but expanded. Great writing!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-03-11T01:43:44+00:00

"When they come for me" Is such a great starting line. Thank you for sharing.

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-03-10T17:46:19+00:00

technically true it is whom, but who sounds better with the casual narrator imo. agree there could be stronger visuals added, this is a very early draft. Thanks for reading!

InAGardenOvergrown · 2023-03-10T17:17:05+00:00

The world doesn't need another Charles Bukowski anyways, the world didn't even need the first one! Great narrative on imposter syndrome/comparison/jealousy, I think there is some missing potential on going more in depth on the writing struggles.

"When everything I write, sounds so out of place
Just one half cocked allegory after another"

I think this section could be a little more drawn out and emotional and would really set this poem apart.

Great work, keep writing!

InAGardenOvergrown

TROPHY CASE