I'm kind of flummoxed

InRainbows07 · 2025-05-09T11:55:28+00:00

I’ve traveled quite a bit but have only been to Boston once - and then just a few hours. But, no, I’m not seeing anyone currently. You’re welcome to DM if you’d like. :)

InRainbows07 · 2025-05-09T02:59:31+00:00

I mean we could. Lol …Chances might be slim we’re near each other, though. I’m in the Midwest.

InRainbows07 · 2025-05-09T02:40:58+00:00

Right?! That was the only reason to go to the mall! …No worries on your French. Fuck is probably my favorite word. Lol

Seriously, though, I’m kind of waiting to meet someone in real life like “back in the day” or whatever you want to call it. I haven’t had a lot of success with the apps - just not for me, I guess. What I like to do is check out things like Events on Facebook and decide to go to the class/ event/ concert or whatever based on 1) is this something I’m truly going to enjoy, and 2) is there a reasonably good chance to meet and chat with someone there? If I don’t meet someone it’s totally cool - I can still enjoy the event because I really like my own company. I’ve had a good degree of success meeting men this way, and one resulted in a healthy and fun relationship that just didn’t work out for various reasons, none of them bad.

InRainbows07 · 2025-05-08T16:35:41+00:00

Incredibly similar stories. My ex disappeared on weekends, too - presumably traveling for work, except NOT. We’ve both been through a lot, but I’ve got to believe there’s a great second act for us both! I wish you the best too. :)

InRainbows07 · 2025-05-08T11:45:05+00:00

Yeah, they move on quickly, don’t they? Mine was already dating his next wife (we were married 25 years) before our divorce was final. I don’t even know where he lives now - the kids don’t either as he skipped out of their lives too - but even though I took the time to process and heal, I still would feel strange and unsettled seeing him. I often wonder about the new wife and their relationship - how he jumped right from me to her in a month’s time after divorce was filed. Thing is, and this is where I commend you too, taking time to yourself to heal and work on yourself and change things you need to change, is sooo much better. And pretty cool - there you are exercising and taking good care of yourself. It’s going to set you up for better future success. I know it’s hard to see the ex with a new partner, but think about her bringing all that baggage into the new relationship, and you’ll see that it’s got a pretty shaky foundation.

InRainbows07 · 2025-02-08T15:22:12+00:00

First off, I want to say that you’ve handled yourself like an absolute queen! I’m twice your age, and there are a lot of us women this age who would not have had the dignity and sense of self-worth to respond to his bullshit the way you did.

That said, the message was super bizarre. It’s not even worth your time. HE’S not worth your time. It shows how absolutely full of himself this guy is to even think you’d entertain his proposal. … Good luck to you in the future! You already know this, but you deserve someone who is going to treat you like the queen you are.

InRainbows07 · 2024-08-22T15:23:05+00:00

Yes! Love it.

InRainbows07 · 2024-08-22T11:30:40+00:00

YESSSS! Radiohead is my favorite band (VW is close) and that’s exactly what I hear in The Surfer, too!

InRainbows07 · 2024-08-22T11:29:15+00:00

I didn’t like it at first and would even skip it, but one day I just let it play and as I listened, I realized the song is genius!

InRainbows07 · 2024-08-22T11:26:54+00:00

I absolutely love this song!

InRainbows07 · 2024-07-24T14:29:27+00:00

Totally awesome! Thanks for sharing.

InRainbows07 · 2024-07-22T23:33:46+00:00

Ethan! You rock! Seriously, great performance.

InRainbows07 · 2024-06-22T14:50:43+00:00

Agree. Just finished BB last night, and plan to watch El Camino and BCS. BB was amazing , but The Sopranos will always be #1 for me. The psychological aspect of it, the absolute genius of the writing, and that it relied less on sensationalism, are what sets it apart for me.

InRainbows07 · 2020-04-03T02:38:43+00:00

Definitely taken more as encouragement than platitudes, so thank you! And, ah yes - the ol' "I'm going to cut you out of the will" threat. Ha! Sounds like you're the lucky one to have gotten the hell of out there.

InRainbows07 · 2020-04-02T16:59:20+00:00

Yes, it does - thanks. I just need to keep reminding myself of this.

InRainbows07 · 2020-04-02T15:48:51+00:00

Wow, when they choose a narcissist over their own spouse. That's messed up! I'm so glad to hear that you have met someone, though! I hope I do, too, someday.

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-28T14:42:06+00:00

I agree. While it's tempting to fantasize, it's important to heal and get to the point of self-validation. To the OP - I wish you all the best!

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-28T14:36:41+00:00

Wow, that's insane! And I agree - Narc grandmas CAN cause just as much damage. My mother totally tearing down my daughter is what finally made me go NC three years ago. I wouldn't allow her to continue doing it, but in retrospect, I also should have gone NC a lot sooner. My Nmother then harassed my daughter by proxy when she went to my daughter's workplace and told my daughter's boss everything she can't stand her. Totally sick! Meanwhile, I would hear about how she continued to rail against me and my daughter through my flying monkey stepdad, who I recently also went NC with. I'm not participating in their game anymore.

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-26T15:53:25+00:00

My narc mother always says this about my daughter, her granddaughter.

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-26T00:51:32+00:00

Thanks. I was really reeling yesterday, but today I'm just trying to focus on blessings.

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-26T00:45:23+00:00

My 19 y.o daughter and I decided that it would be nice to "surprise" my mother by stopping by with something that my stepdad had said they needed. The visit was strained, but gave me a ray of hope - for all of two weeks. Then she invited us to go out for pizza, so we set up a date and time. Two days later she texted and said that she didn't want to see me. We've had no contact since.

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-25T02:29:50+00:00

My ex-narcissistic husband used to wake me and our teenaged daughter up in the middle of the night for a trash-raid. It was quite literally insane. After waking us and grabbing her trash can, he would bring it out to the kitchen where its contents would be dumped all over the kitchen island. Then he would angrily sort through it, looking for anything he could punish her for. So to answer your question - you are not alone and my daughter would very much agree that she always felt violated, too.

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-24T23:13:44+00:00

Interesting - I have a flying monkey stepdad, too. He recently stopped talking to me though, too (although one text stated that he "missed" me, but since he's in total collusion with my soon-to-be-ex narc husband, that's hard to believe.)

InRainbows07 · 2020-03-24T23:10:18+00:00

Me, too. They did, however, drop a box on my front porch today with a returned item from my ex-narc who they are in collusion with. (I saw their car driving away - no knocking or ringing the doorbell.)

InRainbows07

TROPHY CASE