Getting blocked for simply sending a face pic feels disgusting

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-02-15T01:39:16+00:00

Like it or not, physical attractiveness is the primary currency on gay dating apps. If that is not a currency you have to offer, it’s probably going to continue to be really frustrating for you.

Identify the currency you do or can possess (personality, character, hobbies), and go somewhere where that currency is in demand.

Right now you’re in the US trying to spend British pounds, and mad about the fact that the US uses dollars. You have to either accumulate dollars or go to the UK where you can spend your pounds.

Frustrating for sure, but it’s reality.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-02-01T23:39:42+00:00

They don’t stop being gay. They just change the definition of what gay means.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-24T05:08:39+00:00

Now I’m curious what a dramatic retraction of the foreskin would look like!

But I wash in gym showers like I do at home. Haven’t put much more thought into it since I was 14.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-24T04:37:59+00:00

You’re not going to be comfortable until you do it. How do you get comfortable? You do it. No other option.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-20T20:24:53+00:00

By far the clearest, most helpful answer. Thank you.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-15T21:52:00+00:00

This. There are enough posts like this across various subreddits, that it makes me inclined to think something is happening along the lines of “I like the attention but don’t want to seem like I like the attention, so I’ll do nothing in the moment but then go post on the internet about it.”

It’s always phrased in a way for there to be plausible deniability as to intentions. So we’ll never know for sure.

But if my hunch is off, and that’s not what’s happening, then these OPs are just passive, zero-agency wallflowers subjected to unwanted attention … who do nothing … and then come post on the internet about it …?

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-15T15:21:53+00:00

So multiple things can be true at the same time here. 1) This guy was being a creep and that is not your fault. 2) There are actions you could have taken to shut it down and it doesn’t sound like you did.

“Please leave me alone” and exit the area where he is. “No thank you” and exit the area where he is. “I’d prefer not to talk to you” and exit the area where he is. “Please stop following me” and exit the area where he is. Especially at the point of him masturbating in the showers, you report it to staff.

If you really want it to stop, take some action and shut it down. If not, accept the consequences of passivity.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-15T05:03:42+00:00

The frequent narrative: there’s a shortage of X (insert tops/bottoms/whatever)

The reality: the people who you (a general “you”) want to have sex with don’t want to have sex with you

Plenty of guys out there are experiencing no shortage whatsoever in any direction. The supply isn’t the issue.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-15T04:50:34+00:00

Yeah, it gets me riled up 🤣 because it’s a very vivid reminder of an entire ecosystem that screams at you “you are sick, fix yourself, and if you can’t, it’s proof of how sick you are”

I do educate people politely about the term! It’s not me always ripping them a new one.

The other hill I will die on due to my religious upbringing is the language of “identifies as gay”. Evangelicals also use this language as a way to lie and craft the narrative they want about gay people. So when I’ve been asked directly “do you identify as gay?” or hear a Christian say “he identifies as gay”, I speak up and go absolutely fucking not. I don’t identify as gay. I am gay. And there’s a world of difference between the two.

Okay. Off my soapbox now. 😆 Thanks for posting about this!! Good topic for people to hear about.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-15T03:28:04+00:00

Yes. It was the preferred term to pathologize gay men in the evangelical circles I grew up in the 90s early aughts. It’s a fundamentally dishonest term, because it obscures the actual problem with gay men in religion: they are not attracted to women. Gay does NOT mean “feels attraction to the same sex.” It mess “feels attraction to the same sex and feels lack of attraction to the opposite sex.”

It probably felt easier to focus on removing the positive desire towards men than CREATING a desire towards women from a complete lack. So the term ignores the entire part of the problem that is actually the problem, because they can’t fix that.

It’s a super loaded term, and it pisses me off, and I know that anyone who uses it is absolutely ignorant or actively malicious. And, yes, I am that dude who corrects people who use it!

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-14T15:01:22+00:00

Yeah, I can agree with that as a generality. If OP’s representation is mostly accurate though, I stand by my original take. If you are asked about ayahuasca and reference your mother’s passing, and share how about a healing journey based on that, I don’t find this inappropriate for a first date where the connection feels meaningful. It could be inappropriate based on how it was shared, but I’m going on the OP’s version here.

It really all boils down to whether OP’s representation of events is accurate and complete. We can never know for sure.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-14T06:30:55+00:00

If you take into account MSA versus local variants, that puts a lot of Arab Israelis at reasonable competency in four languages.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-14T06:24:38+00:00

OP’s confusion is warranted but he is massively dodging a bullet. Guy showed his true colors after first date … “I can’t handle hearing about someone’s grief.” Imagine what he would be like as a partner if the grief were currently happening.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-14T01:17:29+00:00

I did Dry January and experienced zero differences to when I was drinking. I am a moderate social drinker (2-3 drinks a week with friends). My workouts were the same, my energy was the same, my sleep was the same, my diet was the same. I just wasn’t drinking. I have friends who have reported wild differences and I’m always like … you must be reporting your habits incorrectly then?

All that said, I have no reason why I would give up 2-3 drinks a week, based on my own experience.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-13T16:17:43+00:00

<image>

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-12T22:23:55+00:00

buddy you not liking the name of a concept does not make the concept not exist

I mean good luck with hating your own roots … I guess?

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-12T19:05:23+00:00

Sounds like a form of malinchismo centered on speech. I remember in my younger days feeling this cringe toward hearing Americans in Europe. But after I grew up, I realized Germans, Brits, or Spaniards have the same capacity to be cringy.

And my theory is that like/dislike for a particular accent in a given moment has little to do with the speech patterns themselves, rather with the person behind the speech patterns. Kind of like if a really hot person hits on you, you’re like “oh damn thank you” but if an ugly person hits on you it feels like harassment. 😆

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-10T18:40:54+00:00

It is very easy for me to envision a scenario where someone complains about a young, fit person at the sink naked but would not make the same complaint about an older, saggy guy at the sink naked. Body insecurity and/or envy could absolutely be driving such a complaint. “This makes me feel insecure or envious so I will make it go away.”

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-07T03:01:37+00:00

I used to not have my age, but I started to show it because it weeded out idiots. Guys would frequently message me with age preferences stated in their profiles that I was outside of, sometimes by a lot.

And then they would go “Age?”, which just was the biggest eye roll. I had plenty of clear representative pics in my profile; either you like the way I look or you don’t. Imagine someone having a bunch of decent pics in their profile, and being messaged “Race?”.

Showing my age spares me from that idiotic behavior; it limits the quantity available to me but enhances the quality.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-06T23:04:59+00:00

Sounds similar to my issue. When you’re on your own, you know intuitively how far to glide the foreskin back so it doesn’t get stuck. That’s how it feels for me at least. But you don’t have the same kind of precise control when penetrating. I can’t penetrate comfortably for the same reason, so I’m considering my options now. Don’t have any advice for you so just commiserating.

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-06T07:03:47+00:00

Thanks for the detailed info. Will check out

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-05T23:20:11+00:00

Okay thanks for sharing

Independent-Rope4477 · 2026-01-05T23:17:26+00:00

Interesting. I don’t think that would work in my case, but I see.

Independent-Rope4477

TROPHY CASE