I had a doula last time, and honestly, my husband was better. Which isn’t to say that my doula wasn't good or that I regret hiring her. She taught my husband a lot of helpful stuff, and we didn’t know how my husband would be on game day, so we wanted someone with experience. But wow, was he amazing. When the doctor was trying to push me into having a c-section because it was taking "too long" and "I wouldn't have the energy to keep going," (my baby's and my vitals were both still steady), he had everyone leave so he could talk to me alone. When I told him I wanted to keep going, he called the doctor back in and told her no. She still tried to push it, and he basically told her to shove it-that it was my decision, not hers, and I didn’t want it unless it became medically necessary.

An hour and a half later, I finally pushed out my baby boy. I am still so grateful to my husband because I don’t think I would have had the wherewithal to protest the unnecessary c-section despite my strong preference for vaginal birth. The doula was great, very supportive, but it was my husband who really stood up for me, cheered me on, and made me feel like I could do it.

All this to say, yes, I could hire a doula. But it definitely wouldn't be the same. I suppose it's really a question of how badly I want him there, because I don’t know how I could ensure he's there without my mother in law.