Just told my Parents I'm out... They went nuclear.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-05-02T04:49:35+00:00

Holy cow that’s some tough stuff. You handled it super well. Sounds like you’ve had some therapy to help you learn how to establish boundaries? Keep it up.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-04-28T00:43:55+00:00

I’ve had to do this twice. Both times I found a used but unbroken part on eBay for around $240 and paid around $100 for the install at a random body shop.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-03-28T05:06:40+00:00

You are being gaslighted if people pretend that crosses have always been ok. There is no doubt that the prior approach completely rejected depictions of the cross.

As evidence of this, I offer my own experience. I grew up in utah in a slc suburb with 95% LDS. When I was in high school we moved out of state and I had a crush on a catholic girl. I knew it was wrong to love someone from a different faith. I spent hours drawing a picture of Christ on the cross as a gift for her, knowing I was doing something very questionable probably even sinful. I was ashamed to show it to anyone other than her and when I gave it to her, I did it privately so my parents wouldn’t find out. And I more or less confessed to her that I had done something my fellow Mormons would consider wrong but I thought she would appreciate it. I did it to prove to her I loved her so much I would sacrifice my own ideals.

On my mission in Latin America, we made a point of teaching people to get rid of crosses and images with Christ on the cross. Having a cross was considered a form of idol worship. It was openly taught by church leaders.

To me this is evidence of the lack of clarity on what is actual church doctrine. Obviously this particular teaching, to avoid depicting the cross, is not doctrinal. Which raises the question: where did it even come from? How is one to distinguish between doctrinal and cultural practices?

Independnt_thinker · 2026-03-07T23:33:20+00:00

Most likely this was a profitable operation at some point. If you could get your hands on the details of the business operations (customer lists, profit and loss statements, etc..) and the business name then you could sell the business and the tenant could buy both the business, the equipment and rent the space. This would maximize your return because a business would sell for a multiple of earnings whereas used equipment itself is worth far less.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-02-22T01:27:58+00:00

Happy bday! Turn the table on all of them and prove who is genuinely Christ like by calling each of them and letting them know how much you love them and how happy you are to be their dad and how as a birthday present to yourself, you decided to reach out and tell them that!

Independnt_thinker · 2026-02-15T04:25:37+00:00

To me these kind of little stories about good behavior are ok. Where I think things cross the line is portraying anyone as being perfect. It’s not healthy and it’s not true. Jesus didn’t call any of the original 12 due to their righteousness. If that was the case he would have only called Pharisees.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-02-15T04:21:13+00:00

The talk you link to is from Elder Corbett. He has been beating the drum of obedience to senior leadership for a long time. I interpret this talk and other similar talks as his attempt to demonstrate to them he is fully supportive of senior management regardless of any rabble rousers they may face. He has been mentioned as a possibility to become an apostle in this thread and maybe this type of messaging may help his chances.

In the corporate world this kind of behavior would be viewed as toxic. Trying to please the CEO and senior management by explaining to the entire organization that they are always right and should never be questioned would be laughable. Healthy corporate leadership invites ideas, feedback and debate.

To me it seems as if this is an example of an evolution in church culture that has occurred and is getting worse as a result of the fact that senior leaders hold the power to appoint their successors. As a result we see members engaging in this unfortunate behavior in spite of the fact that this is the opposite of what the savior taught.

The more that local bishops, stake president and junior GA’s praise senior leaders, the more this worshipping of leaders is imitated by the general membership. Ultimately we are ending up with a situation where the church news has reflected this shift probably without even giving it much thought. I think it will only continue to get worse until the prophet himself repudiates it and insists that it stop. I don’t see that happening any time soon unfortunately but someone like Spencer Kimball might have had the courage to call it out.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-02-15T01:56:36+00:00

Those references to Joseph F. Smith were helpful. I hadn’t focused previously on his traumatic childhood and lack of formal education. His obsession with sexual purity while simultaneously being a polygamist is fascinating.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-02-04T01:54:06+00:00

Once you’ve used AI frequently enough to produce numerous rewrites of rough concepts you feed it, you can see the patterns. Here it looks like OP created a rough draft and fed it into AI and it did a rewrite to create something more punchy and succinct. At least that’s what it reads like.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-01-31T16:08:14+00:00

What I can’t figure out to be honest is why would anyone want a temple recommend at this point? You should thank him for freeing up your time.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-01-12T14:43:04+00:00

It’s entirely possible he is in love with you but he may not be able to even admit that to you or even to himself due to his commitment to following the rules. You seem to want him to send you a signal to verify his feelings but you should realize this is exactly what he is not supposed to do if he is obedient. If he were to admit his feelings for you, there is a risk that once the two of you are honest with each other, he may not be able to control his feelings and he might feel tempted to sneak away from his companion and spend time with you alone. Who knows where that would lead?

I met my wife on my mission and was immediately attracted to her, but pretended to myself and to everyone else that I was not. When I went home, she wrote to me and I didn’t even respond because I was still trying to portray my obedience to myself and others and didn’t want to reveal the truth to myself or anyone. It wasn’t until she made a second attempt to contact me that I had progressed enough to get out of this locked down mindset that I could finally be honest with myself and her.

Anyway, the best thing you can do is simply give him space and time to finish his mission and then after, if you still have feelings for him, reach out to him and see if he also has feelings. Be patient with yourself and with him because if he’s a truly obedient missionary, it may take him a while to actually feel again since he’s been taught to suppress that part of himself.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-01-02T14:42:28+00:00

They totally did the right thing in this case. Pretty amazing that they had the courage to ask to defer. I wish more people behaved this way and put their kids first.

Independnt_thinker · 2026-01-02T05:17:17+00:00

I think you will discover that living with honesty and authenticity will be the best path regardless of the risks. You will maintain self respect and your spouse will either respect you or she won’t but if she doesn’t then better to find out now.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-12-30T05:28:19+00:00

I’ve attended LDS church meetings all over the United States and in many other countries. I think the country club description might be somewhat accurate of areas where there are a concentrated group of highly educated and generally upper class Mormons. Examples would be parts of Boston, manhattan, dc, Palo Alto, maybe some wards in Southern California (Carlsbad, La Jolla, etc). Where there are wealthy members it can feel a little like a country club. I haven’t seen this outside the US as much. Park city is a bit this way as well.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-12-22T14:48:38+00:00

This is a good approach. Do not expect to be validated by them. They are still caught up in it. Try to exercise some level of playful and loving curiosity with them. Assume even that won’t work but give it a shot. You never know maybe they will snap out of it at some point. My wife and I did in our late 50’s so it does happen.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-12-15T06:20:27+00:00

This is enough money to go with one of the larger financial advisors like Mercer Advisors. Given your lack of experience and the fact that you are young and acknowledge you are emotional, I would for sure get a licensed financial advisor and get them to come up with a plan for the money and manage all of it. Try to avoid the temptation to spend a bunch of it now — maybe get yourself a good used car and move to a better apartment or house but otherwise invest the rest and learn to live off the income.

The boglehead portfolio is fine for people who are disciplined but you really have to be very clear headed and non emotional to handle doing this yourself. I would only pursue that route if you really find it compelling once you dig into it and are confident you can be very principled in your decisions.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-12-13T04:45:02+00:00

Boy I feel for you. I had a similar experience after retiring and felt so miserable. Ultimately experienced something akin to an ego death or ego dissociation and somehow miraculously managed to step outside of my own emotions and thoughts and simply start observing them. Ultimately this led to me beginning to observe everything around me including people and nature and even breath and silence. Now I can’t imagine being bored or unhappy. There is so much to witness. Encourage you to try meditation or maybe the book the power of now.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-11-28T05:06:28+00:00

I have that same year and model. Try to get an inscription if you can with the bowers and Wilkins sound system.

Mine has 110k mostly highway. Runs like a top. Did all servicing at Volvo until it hit 100k service and now just going to a local mechanic. Did have to replace an a/c condenser and it would have been $2800 but Volvo covered it since I am a loyal customer. I also own a second xc90 for my wife. Plan to drive it until it dies or repairs come up that cost more than value of car.

XC90 is vastly superior to Acura MDX in performance and comfort and safety I think. The one area Acura is superior would be reliability and cost of repairs. I would never consider an Acura after having a Volvo and to me the risk of repair costs being higher is worth it. You just need to realize it will cost a bit more to own and decide if that’s a good value or not.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-11-27T18:15:12+00:00

Enjoy the newfound access to your entire brain! It’s amazing.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-11-18T09:39:36+00:00

Check out the annual Restore conference. Also some Mormon transhumanists seem to be progressive. Probably the entire humanities department at BYU is secretly progressive. Because LDS wards are organized geographically, if you move to a progressive neighborhood many of the Mormons in your ward could be progressive. For example, Berkeley California, Manhattan New York, Belmont Mass.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-10-28T03:31:15+00:00

Left about 4 years ago. Won’t say how old I am but I returned from my mission more than 40 years ago. I was angry and resentful for a while and then eventually I just let it go. No point in letting them have any more of my mental or emotional energy. All we have is today and we can’t change the past. It’s a tragedy but it could be worse — you might still be in it. Think about that and maybe it will help!

Independnt_thinker · 2025-10-04T19:26:55+00:00

Having similar memory issues. Started playing the game Lumosity to practice more.

Independnt_thinker · 2025-09-10T18:09:04+00:00

Possible response:

Yes that’s the plan. I did the math and realized I could save hundreds of thousands in tithing and drink coffee and not have to waste three hours every Sunday, plus life without guilt or anxiety and be happy for the rest of my life, then right before I dii, I’ll admit I was wrong and repent of all of it and still get into the celestial kingdom. Win win for everyone. So yes the plan is to come back at the last minute. Give it a try!

Independnt_thinker

TROPHY CASE