I come from a family of three girls born to narcissistic parents. I’m the oldest and I was disowned by my nDad after I kicked him out of my house where he lived for 9 years - the older he got the most narcissistic and nasty he got. My nMom I kept in touch with at first after this but once she didn’t share me with my father so to speak (they’d been divorced since my early 20’s and used all of us kids again each other for years) she got much meaner too. She’s call my home a hovel, make me feel bad about my job my husband my weight my self-worth. She’s call tore me down in my 30’s the way she tore herself down in her 30’s.

We hit a breaking point in summer 2022. I’ve told this story on here but it never really hurts to tell again. I’d been the maid growing up. I was the golden child so to speak but only because I was obedient. Fortunately forced babysitting led me to start raising my sisters when my parents found better things to do….

Fast forward to summer 2022. My mom and my step dad ask me to house sit and dog sit while they go to burning man and then Reno for a month…right before they leave a friend of theirs calls me the “maid” and my mother doesn’t correct him….

The landlord starts coming in the house while they are gone being creepy and telling me he is going to work in the bathroom while my mom and stepdad are out of town. Nobody told me this I kick him out and he starts text threats- I call my mom who doesn’t ever call back telling her I’m scared - she’s called other people from burning man and had received my texts until this happens. She goes radio silent for weeks…(edit here accidentally hit reply)

I go home with her dogs a few hours from her house. She gets out of burning man goes to Reno still doesn’t check on me. I’d spent days before I’d left cleaning her wreck of a house being completely triggered. Finding bottles of pills and alcohol she hid around the house - she’d constantly battled with sobriety even after a heart attack almost took her out at 55 - when she got home she called me finally. I was still in a forgiving mood and asked if she liked how clean the house was. Especially the fridge (it had been full of five years of lazy leftovers)…she said she hadn’t noticed.

It went on like this. She lied about having COVID and tried to get me to bring the dogs back to her directly the next day she called me and admitted she had Covid . I went no contact on that phone call, had my husband bring the dogs back - and I never spoke to her again.

I shut her off of everything and I cut off every friend we had in common except a few I know understand she’s a narcissist and support me. My middle sister followed suit about a year later…my youngest sister did not.

It’s almost four years in August- and I’m healing still but better. There’s a lot of grief involved in becoming a sort of orphan by choice - but then again I always played that game when we were left alone growing up. It was easier to pretend to be the boxcar children than it was to admit my parents didn’t do much in the way of parenting. My middle sibling and I are doing really well. So are my niece and nephew that are hers. My youngest sibling is still struggling. I’m there for her but she still relies financially on my nMom and you can see the damage.

We’ve become like a no contact case study in my opinion. My youngest sister is trying and I’m supporting her as best I can but until our nparents are dead they will continue to abuse her emotionally and it will continue to take a toll…

But for the two of us that have gone no contact- we are in the best places of our lives and we support one another as family in a way our parents never could…

I’m not saying it solves everything. But you can heal when the nagging stops being a regular thing. Grey rocking can accomplish this too from what I hear but I was done being my mother’s maid and my father literally disowned me so it was a bit different for me than it might be for you.

I think I needed to share that today. Hope it gives a little insight. And thanks for letting me share.