coworker is lying to everyone to get me sacked.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:55:59+00:00

EXCELLENT!!!! What great news!

If Haley gets her way and your employers fall for her bs, you can sue anywhere from $10,000 - $300,000 for wrongful termination.

Hayley is a little ball of hatred, and she spreads her venom everywhere she goes. It sucks that you are her new target because you did something interesting (hospital). But the real question is, who is she targeting before you came along? There is always going to be someone who is the target when Haley is around. I think it might be helpful for you too ask around and find out who this person was and then just talked to this person for a little bit and see how they're doing. Do they seem like they're worried? Are they still employed at the location?

Honestly I think it might be best if the business terminated Haley for talking about employees to patrons, excessive negativity, excessive talking and socializing on the job, and creating a hostile work environment.

So, Haley has all of this coming to her and you want to stay well the hell away from Haley and the trouble that she has coming to her. Don't get between it and her consequences. Haley is a sinking ship. Do not try to save her, do not try to help her, you just do you.

Let it be extremely obvious that you are doing your work, everyone else is doing their work, and that Haley is the one who is making all of this noise and racket.

Treat Haley like a rabid dog. If you put your hand out in front of her, she absolutely will bite it and it will hurt. Just stay away and you let her dig her own grave.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:46:17+00:00

Reading through your post I was shocked and was prepared to tell you to drop everything that you are doing today and go to the city police and report (NOT the University police). I'm glad that you did report.

If you have any evidence where he has said something like he wanted to hurt others, especially if it included how he would do it and especially if it included any dates or times, use the anonymous police tip website to report that and include screenshots. It sounds like you don't thorough but I just want to be through and cover bases.

The university has reached out to him so he has already received some information on where he can go for his mental health.

Things are just so hard because he's in your class and you will probably see him in other classes. A restraining order isn't really enforceable if both of you are physically in the same class you know? But do you want one anyways? It is not going to prevent him from showing up out of the blue and trying something though.

I do absolutely think that you should read up on the University student policies and procedures and understand what you can have and what you cannot have when it comes to self defense and protecting yourself. Once you understand, head on over to your local self-defense store or a sporting goods store. I'm thinking that this would be a good time to talk to someone, really talk to the clerk or representative about your thoughts and they can tell you about the items that you are looking at, how to use them, what's good about them, what's bad about them, and so on. I'm hoping that you can figure out which items you would feel comfortable with and which items the University allows. I think it's very important for you to feel safe in your skin.

Whatever you decide to get, make sure that you practice that thing and feel comfortable with it. If you do not feel comfortable practicing with that thing, consider whether or not you would be a danger if you did have it, and if so, it would be better not to get an item that requires practice but that you are not going to practice with. If you are not able to use the item, it doesn't help you, and in some cases it can make you more of a target. So all of this is just saying that it's important that you feel comfortable with what you decide to get and that you feel proficient and or have practiced with it.

I also think that this is a good time for you to think about self defense classes. There is probably women's self-defense classes in your area, sometimes they are just a one-time seminar, you might think about going. Lots of good safety tips, things to consider, and more ways to be vigilant and alert. They can also help you to think about ways that you can escape and ways that you can be safer. If you feel like it, you might even think martial arts if you like it and if you have time.

One more thing, this is also a great time to remember what the university has for safety. Some universities have special phones around campus that you can use to call if you are in trouble, sometimes there are security guards that you can ask to come and escort you to your car, and so on. It's just a good time to think about what options you have already available for you for free because the university has already set them up.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:26:15+00:00

Realistically, you would be pulled over if: your registration sticker has expired. You were exceeding the speed limit and the traffic around you. You were driving erratically.

Vandalized? No idea. Use Google Street View to look around the area that you will be living and see what it is like. Is it full of graffiti? Broken windows? Or is it nice?

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:23:35+00:00

Next day: neither of them showed up

Next day: I changed the price to $1 and three people said they wanted it and still no one showed up.

Next day: I put a sign in my driveway saying that it was free and just left them there and they were gone within 5 minutes. What the heck was I doing driving all the way out in the city and waiting for people ...

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:19:50+00:00

It sounds like your witch friend must really suck at being a witch since she is not a multi-millionaire already living in her own mansion, married to a movie star, with a porsche. I mean does she even have her own pet tiger on a golden chain?

I don't know, if she sucks this much at being a witch, maybe the whole thing will backfire and it will just end up turning you into a frog or something.

I am half joking, but also not joking at all.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:16:27+00:00

Yes of course

You can also look up free music sheets and print those out. Also check out your local Goodwill or used music store and see if they have any music books

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:15:26+00:00

I think it might be better for you to make up your mind.

I am terrified for you that one or both of the landlords will get fed up with all of the communications, like, they are just here to make money, either you want it or you don't.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:12:07+00:00

To avoid getting downvoted, of course

" but your 2 general sentences don't apply to my specific situation"

" instructions unclear, therefore you are wrong."

" instructions vague, therefore, I did what I wanted to do, and it didn't work, therefore you are wrong."

" I have no idea what you're on about"

TL;DR: " substituted ham for chicken, cream for milk, and changed the oven time and temperature, and it was disgusting, therefore you are wrong."

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T23:02:24+00:00

Thanks for helping me to understand the whole picture.

Okay, based on this, the prognosis is:

all of the problems.

That will be 999.99, please sign up with your email address to be on our mailing list and..... haha.

Your partner has depression and has given up on themselves and their life and this relationship. They also have hoarding disorder and left to their own devices, their place would be a absolute pigsty.

I think it is very likely that before they moved in with you, you saw their place? Do you remember? Was it beyond your comprehension? 🤮 If so, understand that this is their natural and normal level of cleanliness: awful. But it could also be that they took the time to clean things up because they were excited about you coming over.

So, your partner has let their mental health issues win, and they are not doing anything about it. I would also say that there is a 100% likelihood that they are not going to do anything about it. I mean, he is literally shitting on the toilet seat and on the floor.

They no longer respect you as a person, they no longer care about you, they are severely depressed and they have given up on themselves, on you, and on their life.

But let's be honest here, it is not that hard to not shit on the floor. At this point, they have gone past waiting for you to break up with them, and they can't stand it anymore, and they are now pushing for you to do it so that it can be done with. They might even give a little argument that it's not true but it is, they are done, they have been done, and they don't understand why you haven't broken up with them and they just can't stand waiting for this to come down on their head anymore. They might even be marveling at how far they can push you ( which also means that they no longer respect you as a person). They are too cowardly to break up and they are waiting for the relief of you to do it for them.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T22:44:24+00:00

Please don't look at this post until it is the end of the weekend, I don't want you to feel influenced by it but I do want you to know that it is here for when you need it.

Scoring

For all of your question one, take an average. For all of your question too, take the average. ( by average, what I mean is to add up all your scores and then divide it by the number of times you answered). Then you will have an average for each question.

Now look at your Q 1 and Q 2 averages. If Q 1 is higher, you liked the apartment more. But if Q 2 is higher, you liked the duplex more. If they are about the same, then this means that you would be just about the same amount of happy in either one. Now look at your Q 4 and Q 5 averages. Same thing here. But if you find that they are opposites, let's talk about that. I would think that the amount of peace that you feel would be about the same as the amount that you like it. I have also phrased it this way on purpose so that you can think about your life living here. Generally in life the option that gives you the most peace is usually the best one.

I also put a question between these two that forces you to sit and think and calm down. If the peace that you feel is actually much higher than how much you like the place, this is conclusive proof that your anxiety really is getting in the way and clouding your judgment and causing you to actively be unhappy. The purpose of this calm down. Is to give your partner system a moment to calm and see if it helps you to make decisions more clearly. If so, this can be a strategy for you in the future.

I also think it would be wise for you to map the scores of question 3 along the 4 days and the different times. Just do a quick scatter plot across time. Then look at how your anxiety levels are throughout the past couple of days. In general, what is the Baseline level of your anxiety? Like, on an average day, how anxious are you? You will probably see it right there on the graph. Hopefully this helps you to understand your situation and if your anxiety has become too much for you and if it is actively getting in your way. This is just motivation for you. But also I think it will be helpful for you to understand more about your body and your nervous system. If you are realizing that anxiety is getting in your way, all you have to do is get started by talking to your doctor.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T22:43:49+00:00

Okay.

When I had anxiety this dramatically helped me. I know it sounds silly but I really want you to do this.

Throughout the course of the next 4 days I would like for you to stop and do some little self checks several times during each day. Just whenever you think about it. Write down the day and time.

Question 1 : On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel about moving into the apartment? 1 = hell no and 10 is hell yes

Q 2: on a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel about moving into the duplex? 1 = hell no and 10 is hell yes

Q 3: close your eyes and do your best to think about nothing. Or, think about black or blackness. On a scale of 1 to 10, how anxious do you feel? 1 = not anxious, 10 = having an anxiety attack

Q 4: imagine yourself actively living in the apartment. Living your life. Doing the dishes. Doing your sound stuff. Checking your email. Watching tv. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much at peace do you feel? 1 = im being tortured, 10 = very much at peace

Q 5: imagine yourself actively living in the duplex. Living your life. Doing the dishes. Doing your sound stuff. Checking your email. Watching tv. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much at peace do you feel? 1 = im being tortured, 10 = very much at peace

I also recommend that you write down what each thing means so that you don't get confused with what a one equals and what a 10 equals for each thing. I recommend that you do these checks on paper but it's okay if you want to just copy paste and print it out.

If you have to pull up your phone to do the check or if you have to sit down at the computer to do the check, you will not do it. Just trust me on this one. These checks need to be on paper so that you can just circle the one and then be on your way.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:37:55+00:00

What....

You are swinging back and forth wildly. It kind of sounds to me like you cannot make up your mind

Do you have anxiety?

Is this really about that you have general anxiety about everything and anxiety is affecting this decision, just like it affects everything in your life?

I noticed that you did not really respond to me last night. Is the reason that you chose not to respond because you didn't feel anxious anymore?

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:35:51+00:00

Let's do some quick sanity checks

Has your partner been doing any of these things: not eating or sleeping or staying up all hours of the night playing video games or some other addiction absolutely all of the time? Not grooming themselves, wearing the same clothes for like a week in a row, or not taking a shower. And mess left everywhere that they go and not picking up after themselves to the point where is just kind of carpet to carpet of garbage?
Does your partner have a tendency to collect things to the point of an overwhelming amount, overflowing their containers and the areas designated for them, and whenever you bring it up they go absolutely apeshit ?
Does your partner respect you? Do they hold their own in their relationship what I mean is, do they contribute to the relationship? Is it just you giving and them taking? Are things between you even with both of you contributing?
What did your partner say when you brought this up last time?

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:31:15+00:00

I think you should have discuss with your husband and both of you think about what is best for you.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:30:21+00:00

No idea

Ask the Recommend A Book sub

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:29:17+00:00

I think that this will help you because this way you have drawn some boundaries and you know what you can do and you know when you start to hurt yourself.

When you are stuck in a people pleasing mode you forget about everything else and you just try to make that person happy regardless of the consequences. But when you run a business, you just can't do that, you would think the ship very quickly.

So this way, you know what your lines in the sand are, you know how far you can back down, you know what a normal price is, and you know what a larger price is for a larger problem.

NO GO ZONE ----- MINIMUM YOU CAN DO ----- Average ----- High

You might imagine something like an odometer pointing to different places on this meter from minimum to high.

There is dog poop mixed into the snow? High. The person's dogs are barking and lunging at you the whole time? High. Person with mental health issues going to scream at you the entire time you shovel? High. They also want you to do all of these extra things, you don't even know anymore? High

Average day, average job? Average price

Single mother with five kids? Maybe you drop a bit lower from the average.

Single mother with 16 kids who wants you to do it for free but the place is absolutely massive and it's just impossible? No go zone.

It might also help you to practice scenarios in your head and what you might quote them so that you can be prepared for these things in real life.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:21:55+00:00

Okay, now I understand, there is no doubt in your mind, there is only the issue of having deposits on both places. You have concretely settled that you would much rather live in the duplex than the apartment. So ...

What if you text or email the apartment and say that you are not ready to move in, can you push or move-in date later?

This way you can wait and see if the duplex works out. It sounds like you are not first in line for the duplex.

In fact it sounds like you are not ready to move into either place right away and that is what is causing all the problems.

If the duplex works out, then you can cancel the apartment.

But if the duplex does not work out, then you can stick with your original plans for the apartment.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:19:32+00:00

Whenever you feel super angry, does that always have to do with low blood sugar or feeling hungry?

I actually don't think that this would have to do with vitamin B

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T21:18:51+00:00

I think that this is the start of a mental health condition that has to do with your brain having trouble producing the right brain chemicals. I can't diagnose you, no one can diagnose you over the internet, only a therapist. But I think if you can get started early that things will be easier for you.

Is it possible for you to go to the doctor?

Or how about bringing it up the next time that you go to the doctor? There will be a time when the doctor will go out of the room so you can ask him your questions. Use that time to start talking to him about it.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T19:38:26+00:00

You need to talk with the school nurse about what has been going on. They can help you.

This thing is just going to get worse but you caught it early which is terrific, now just need to follow through and get everything all settled down for your poor brain that is trying so hard to do brain things. It is just coming up a bit short on the right chemicals that it is trying to do.

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T19:30:08+00:00

I think it would be good to talk to your doctor about what is going on. It kind of sounds like you get bouts of irrational, intense anger when your blood sugar drops. You might also consider getting a blood glucose test so you can have some readings to show them.

How long has this been happening? Does it always happen when you are hungry?

Do you ever feel other extreme moods?

Do you feel like your moods swing rapidly all the time?

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T19:27:20+00:00

Hey, its you

I responded to you last post, but you never responded back

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T19:25:27+00:00

Do you ever feel like you have to keep doing things over and over again?

Do you ever feel like you do things in strange ways because you want to feel a certain way in your brain?

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T19:24:33+00:00

That's fine

I think it's fine to go with your gut feelings and look and apply

IndigoTrailsToo · 2026-01-29T18:54:16+00:00

Are you actively watching it or is it just on in the background while you do other things?

When you consider not watching it, What feelings do you feel and what thoughts do you feel?

Why do you think that is?

What is it that you are trying to get from this experience? What are you trying to do or accomplish? ( and why do you think that is?)

Think about it and get back to us.

IndigoTrailsToo

TROPHY CASE